Triathlete, Goddess!

Majorca!

2008-04-14T14:54:00.005-04:00

I'm just back from my cycling trip to Majorca! What a paradise that is! There were more bikes than cars on the road. Sea, mountains, farmland... you couldn't ask for anything more! I rode 511 kms in 6 days. My two longest rides were 105K and 113K. Lots and lots of climbing!

The weather was cool, especially at the start of the rides in the morining, but got up to about 20-22C by the afternoon. Perfect riding weather. Mostly sunny, though we did have two overcast days. Luckily, no rain until late Saturday afternoon (and I wasn't riding then).

This is the sunrise over the Mediterranean the first morning we arrived. This was the view from my balcony. Gorgeous!

We had one rest day mid-week, so we took the bus into Palma, which is the main city, about an hour away from where we were staying in Alcudia.

I ate like a pig while I was there, but it was worth it.

The Yellow Line

2008-02-19T17:00:00.002-05:00

Yes, I realize I've been AWOL for a while. I have an internet running forum that I post regularly on, and now with "Crackbook", it's hard to find time to update blogs like this. Anyway, here's where I'm at.

I've managed to break through my long-time fat barrier and post a new low of 157.6 pounds! The great news is that I started 2008 a full 10 pounds lighter than I started 2007, so 164 on Jan 1/08. But with some diligent eating/exercising, I'm now just below 160. My short-term goal is to get to 155 by the time I go on vacation (cycling in Spain) in early April. I'm pretty sure I can do it.

The thing that helped me break through the old barrier of 165 was to exercise less, which also allowed me to eat less. Instead of the 1800-2000 calories I was eating before (in order to fuel my ultra-long workouts), I am now only eating about 1500-1700 calories per day (excluding those I take in during long bikes/runs in the form of sports drink or gels). And I increased the intensity of my workouts, but kept them all in the 40-60-minute range. Once I start going longer than 60-90 minutes on a workout, it starts to wreak havoc on my appetite. That's partly why after flirting with 157, I am now back up to 159-160 without any new weight loss in the last two weeks: my mileage has increased in preparation of a 30K race I'm doing at the end of March.

During this weight loss process I've also borrowed from The Biggest Loser and implemented my own "yellow line." This is the weight that I cannot allow myself to go above. Over the holidays I set it at 165 and I did get very close to it in early January. Now I've lowered my yellow line to 161, so I don't leave myself much wiggle room. Mostly because I don't want to give myself too much license to slack off.

So, I'm only 4 pounds away from my short-term goal, but those four pounds seem very, very far away at this point. My long-term goal (by end of summer) is to get to 150 and be able to wear a two-piece bathing suit in public. I'm not sure if I want to go any lower than that - I don't want to give up my Clydesdale/Athena status - ha ha!

Races for this year: Two long-course tris (June & August) and a 70.3 in September. By July, I'll also have to decide if I want to do Ironman again next summer. I'm on the fence at this point.

Ciao for now!

Long-Term Fat

2007-08-16T19:14:00.000-04:00

I have this theory that there’s a difference between Long-term fat and Short-term fat. How I define those is as follows:

Short-term fat consists of those few extra pounds gained or lost in the short term. For example, I weighed 165 a few weeks ago and gained seven pounds and was up to 172 a few days ago. As of today, I’ve lost some of that weight and I’m now down to 168 again. That’s Short-Term Fat and I find that particularly easy to lose with some diligent eating over a week or so. In reality, some of that “fat” might have actually been water or some other type of weight gain, not necessarily 100% fat.

Long-term fat consists of that fat I gained over the previous 15-20 years that brought me to an all-time high weight of 235 pounds in October of 1996. In the first year, I was able to lose 20-25 pounds of that, however my weight kind of stabilized at 210-215 for a while (likely that 20-25 pounds was only gained in the previous 1-2 years). In 1999-2000, I was successful in losing another 35-40 pounds of Long-term fat to bring me to 170-175. I managed to gain some of that weight back over the next few years (back up to 185 in 2002-2003), but then got diligent with my eating/exercise in early 2003 and managed to lose 10-15 pounds. I stabilized at 173-178 for quite a while. My next breakthrough in burning Long-term Fat came in the fall of 2005 when I was able to lose another 10 pounds taking me to a new all-time low of 165 pounds. I’m up a few pounds from that now, but that’s my new “baseline” of Long-term fat that I am trying to break through.

So, why the distinction between Short-term and Long-term fat? Well my theory is that Short-term fat is relatively easy to lose as your body has been that weight before and it easily adapts to that level. But Long-term fat is much harder to get rid of as it’s never been burned before. It requires new levels of calorie reduction and exercise to burn it off. And it’s damned hard to lose! It also requires much more of a lifestyle change and permanent changes to eating habits – not to mention the psychological and emotional changes that go along with it.

Of course, I have nothing but my own anecdotal experience to back this up, but that seems to be the way it works for me.

My current “Long-Term Fat Loss Challenge” is to break through that 165 barrier and get to 160 by mid-fall. I am realistic in thinking that it might not be feasible to expect that I will lose any weight in November and December as that’s peak holiday party time, but I hope to be able to maintain whatever I lose by the end of October all the way through until January. That’s when I can focus on my next goal: 150!

When last we left our heroine...

2007-08-07T20:05:00.000-04:00

She was reporting in on two recent races. Well, I've run (and swam and biked) two more since then and I am now done for the summer.

Short reports:

July 8: Did a sprint tri (750m swim, 20K bike, 5K run) and won my category (that I like to call "Fat Chicks Over 40", or Clydesdale F40+). I also had a personal best at the distance, which made it all that much more sweet. My time was 1hr, 27 minutes.

August 5: Did a long course tri (2K swim, 56K bike, 15K run) and finished 12th of 12 in my category (W40-44), but took 6 minutes off my previous PB on that course from 2005 and took 3 whole minutes off my swim time (37 minutes), which I am totally stoked about. My finishing time was 4hrs, 20 minutes.

My racing season is now done, so my focus will be on:

1) Healing these stupid injuries (hamstring, glute, plantar fasciitis)
2) Losing some weight (Goal: 160 by my birthday in December)
3) Painting and decorating my condo
4) Going on dates

The weight part will be hard because I seem to have this 166-168 set point that I am fighting. If I can break through that and get to 160 and stay there for a while I will be super happy. I am not going back to the dietician because it was the most useless way to spend $450. The only thing she told me was to reduce my proportion of carbs down to 55% (from 65%) and take in fewer calories. Ya think!?? I'm not sure what my strategy is going to be, except I am going to experiment with exercising less. Yes, that's quite the concept, isn't it! My theory is that all the hard training messes with my appetite and my metabolism, so it just wants to hang onto fat. I'm going to keep all my workouts to less than 60 minutes (mostly 30-45 minutes) and also incorporate some weight training twice a week. I'm also going to try really hard to eat about 1600 calories per day. That will be really tough for me as I tend to get squirelly on anything less than 1800. I'm hoping that the reduction in exercise will help me do that.

Painting and decorating will be fun. I already have my colours picked out (two shades of medium/dark beige, plus a brick-red accent wall), so it's just a matter of buying the paint and getting started. And I think I found a solution to my window covering/hardware dilemma (thanks 1kea!).

Dating, well I'm not sure if that's going to be more or less difficult than dieting! So far it's been a big old pain that hasn't yielded anything. My relationship with the non-BF is getting in the way a bit (it's working well for him, just not so well for me), so I'm trying to figure out the right balance there.

Two for the price of one!!

2007-07-02T14:59:00.000-04:00

Yes I have two - count 'em - two recent races to report on. Of course, that's simply because I've been such an inconsistent blogger that I never got around to posting one from my race three weeks ago. Here goes...

Race #1: 2K swim, 55K bike, 15K run (Sunday, June 17, 2007)

We got to the race site nice and early (and scored a primo parking spot, too). I set up my transition area, then just stood around and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, we made our way down to the lake for the start. I saw BMan and Stella and wished them both well on their races. I was wearing my brand new sleeveless wetsuit. Technically, it wasn’t “brand new” since I had swam in it for about 10 minutes the day before. I LOVED the wetsuit. It was awesome. I was a bit nervous for my friend L who was doing his longest swim in a race ever. He had done 1000m at Bellwood last year, but this was double that distance and he was a little worried. He was in the wave after mine, so I knew I wouldn’t see him until somewhere on the bike.

I was in the fourth wave starting at 8:16AM. This wave consisted of women 30-44, all wearing bright pink caps. The gun went off and I started swimming. Within a minute, my goggles started to fog, so sighting became difficult, especially since we were swimming into the rising sun. I just followed the pack and hoped they were going in the right direction. Then my goggles started to leak. This wasn’t horrible because the small amount of water inside actually worked to clear the goggles. At the first turn, I had to stop for a few seconds to clear them, though. I think I stopped once or twice later in the race to clear them again. Swimming into the channel, I started to get passed from the faster swimmers from the wave behind (Men 40-44).

OK, here I have to go on a rant: I understand that if you place yourself at the front of your swim wave that there’s a certain amount of jostling for position that happens. That’s part of the sport. Generally speaking, you’re talking about people who are all strong swimmers. But if you are at the front of your pack coming up on the slower swimmers from the wave before yours, it’s totally rude and unsportsmanlike to get physical with those slower swimmers, just because they’re in your way. Go around them, not over or through them! Sheesh!

So, after getting jostled a few times by the silver capped guys, I tried to maintain my form and just get it done. I don’t think I took the straightest line at the end, but I still managed to get out of the water at 40:45, which was within my predicted goal time. There was a 250m run from the lake to the T-zone (and timing mat). I just took my time and only jogged lightly on this section. I took my time in T1. The official stats show it as 4-something because of where the timing mats were, but by my watch, it was 5:27 (including the jog up from the lake). I didn’t rush, put all my gear on, struggled with getting my odometer re-set (I should have done this before the race – duh!). Grabbed my bike and off I went. I honestly don’t know where all that time went! Most people’s transitions were around 3 minutes. I think I must have baked a batch of cookies while in transition. Ha ha.

Off on the bike… I got on my bike with no incident, but my first test of the day was about to happen. How was I going to feel sitting on that saddle after my accident earlier in the week? [Note: I had fallen off my commuter bike the Tuesday before the race and jammed the saddle up into my, um, girlie bits. They were still swollen on race day.] Well, it felt fine! It didn’t hurt any more than how it normally hurts to sit on a saddle. There’s a short out-and-back section (turnaround at 12.5K) where it’s kind of cool to see people you know. I got passed by Stella then by Bman. Just as I was exiting the O&B (17K mark), I saw L on his way in. I was sooooo relieved to see him on his bike and smiling, which meant that he had made it through the swim without incident. I kept a nice pace for the first 25K or so. There were a few climbs that required my granny gear and even getting out of the saddle (more to stretch my legs than because I had to). The bike course is very technical. And many of the turns happen either at the bottom of a big downhill (so you have to slow way down to make the tight corner), or have significant uphills right after, but you’ve lost your momentum in the turn. The section from 25-38K was beautiful, tree-lined and shady. The road here was in OK condition (not great) and the ups and downs were manageable (except for one short steep part that I struggled with, even out of the saddle). But once we made the turn onto Brittania Rd., it was a whole new race. There was a killer hill at the start of this section, followed by lots and lots more hills (up and down) and lots and lots of turns – think roller coaster ride! There were a few where (even standing) I was concerned that I would tip over from going too slowly. But I made it, though my legs were a little fried. Just after the 45K mark, we turned back onto Brunel and I new I could basically coast from there to transition. I didn’t want to hammer as I wanted to save my legs a bit.

I flew into T2, dismounted and checked my watch: 2:12:25. Cool! My original goal had been 2:10, but when I saw how hilly it was, I revised that to 2:15-2:20. So I came in close to my original goal and was happy. T2 went without a hitch. I was in and out in less than 2 minutes (even with walking from my bike to the run exit).

I started running and thankfully the first part was slightly downhill. There was a short uphill section about 500m into the run, but there were so many spectators I didn’t want to walk. At this point I ran into my friend, D. We ran/walked together for a bit, but I know that he’s a much faster runner than I am, so when I needed to take a walk break, I told him to go on. The run wasn’t too hilly, just a few gently rolling ups and down (that might as well have been mountains since my legs were so dead after the bike ride). I hit the 2K marker at 12:45, so right on my 6:30 goal pace. I ran when I could and walked (with aggression) when I couldn’t. For every cup of water I drank, I put two over my head. It was sooooo hot and there wasn’t much (if any) shade on the way out. At about the 4K mark I heard a voice call my name from behind: it was L! He had made it safely off the bike, so now I had nothing more to worry about. After a hug, we ran together for a bit, but I sent him on his way as he is a much speedier runner than I am. 5K split was 32 minutes, which was just fine with me. After the turnaround, things got a bit better as we had a bit of a headwind and there was a touch of shade on that side of the road. Again, I ran when I could and walked when I couldn’t run. My 10K split was 1:06, so I had definitely slowed down. My hamstrings and glutes were screaming at me in the last 4K or so. I walked a lot here. When I hit the 13K mark I really tried to run as much as possible since there were only two kilometers to go.

As I was getting ready to take a walk break on a slight incline at 13.5K, I could see a woman from my club in the distance. We are in the same age category and I hadn’t seen her since T1, so I didn’t know that she was ahead of me. I used that as motivation to keep running and see if I could catch her. I caught her just after the 14K mark. I also took advantage of the final 750m downhill to the finish to turn on the jets and ensure that I finished strong, leaving everything on the course. By my watch, I did the final kilometer in a little over five minutes! I crossed the line in 4:38:53, good enough for 3rd place in the W-Clyde 40+ division (though I didn’t find that out until later when I checked the results on-line).

Overall, I’m happy with my race. I think I did the best I could on the day, on that course. The only thing I would change is not wasting so much time in transition.

Report #2: 10K Road Race (Sunday, July 1, 2007)

The weather: PERFECT! About 15C with a light breeze off the lake. The sun was in and out, which was also perfect.

The race: Last week I told my friend (& hostess for the weekend) Jo-Jo that I wasn't planning on "racing". I was looking at this as a social weekend "with a pesky little 10K in the middle." This morning, I told her that I wasn't going to make a decision about whether to "race" it until about 4K in. I told another friend, Jane, at the start of the race that I was just hoping to come in under an hour. Well, after the first kilometer, I knew I was feeling good and should go for it. My legs were feeling "light", which is not something I've felt on a run in quite a while.

After my first kilometer I looked down at my watch and it said 5:50. Wow! That's a good pace for me and I was feeling like I wasn't really working very hard, so I picked up the pace a bit to see how I felt. This next section was pretty flat and when I hit the split on my watch at the 2K marker it read 5:22 - wow, that's my fast tempo pace! I was feeling good, so I just went with it. I guess I AM racing today, afterall. I was running well in the third kilometer, but then there was a hill just before the 3K mark. Surprisingly, my legs felt light and I felt strong going up the hill (not normal for me as I usually struggle on hills). Everything was going well until I hit the 5K marker when I looked at my watch and it said 5:11. Wow! That's the pace I do my speed work at!! Little did I know, there had been a very slight downhill grade (and that I'd notice it on the return lap between the 6th and 7th kilometers.

After the final water station (around 8K) I was tracking this woman in front of me. Every time I gained on her, she'd pull away again. But I didn't let that bungee cord go and just hung on to the back of her for the rest of the race. Little did I know, she was in my age category and took 5th place (and I came 6th) of 13 women.

Here's how the race went by the numbers. My splits are as suprising to me as anyone:
1K - 5:50 (just starting out easy)
2K - 5:22 (flat)
3K - 5:27 (there was an uphill)
4K - 5:21 (another uphill)
5K - 5:11 (slight downhill grade)
[turnaround at 5.5K]
6K - 5:13 (still feeling strong)
7K - 5:24 (I'm going for it )
8K - 5:21 9K - 5:16 (it's hammer time)
10K - 5:11
Finish: 53:42 (by my watch, 53:44 chip time)

That's a new PB by 1:16 (and my previous PB was set on what I think might have been a short course). Last year, I ran this race in 59:10 on a brutally hot day (and I wasn't really "racing" last
year, either), so I took more than five minutes off last year's time!

I'm getting more pumped going into my next race this coming Sunday. It's a Sprint Tri (750m/20K/5K) and I hope to finish under 1:30, with my goal time being 1:26. I did this race five years ago in 1:29, so I'd really like to beat that time.

Whassup???

2007-05-31T21:18:00.000-04:00

1. I had a great trip to Italy. Rode close to 500km over 7 days. It was a great group of people (24 of us in total). Lots and lots of climbing, though it's all switchbacks, so it seems a bit more manageable. I also swam in the Adriatic. I can't remember the last time I swam in salt water. It was cold, but not frigid (and I was wearing a wetsuit). I can't wait to go back next year, though I hear the trip might be to Spain.

2. My back is pretty much healed, though I do feel pain while cycling up hills. I have to be more diligent about doing my exercises (gluteus medius and maximus, plus hamstrings).

3. Dating life is non-existant. Oh well. At least I have my health (and all my own teeth). Ha ha. Funny thing (sort of), I was at the funeral for my non-BF's father and one of his female relatives commented on how good looking I am. Her exact words (said to him, not me) were, "I'd do her." And she's straight! Ha ha. I guess I should be flattered. Though I'd really prefer to get that kind of attention from single guys. Oh well.

4. Racing: I'm training for my next tri, which is a 2K/55K/15K event on June 17. I've never done this race before but I have done one of similar distance. I expect it to take me about 4.5 hours.

5. Weight. Ugh. I spent over $400 on a dietician and it really made no difference at all. Honestly, I did all the work (food journal, etc.) and she didn't really provide me with anything that I couldn't (and didn't already) do myself. I might have dropped 5 pounds, but I could have done that on my own just by logging my food as I did. Anyway, I've seen some unflattering photos of myself and don't like what I see in the mirror, so I have to do something. I just think I might have more success if I wait until the fall when my training drops down (and I'm not so hungry all the time). Though to be honest, I'm never really NOT training for something. Maybe in November and December, but that's holiday season and who wants to be dieting then?? Pffft. Right now, I'm fluctuating between 168-170.

6. Work. It pays the bills. End of story. I'll likely be getting a new boss and I'm not too jazzed about that, but I have to keep an open mind.

Things coming up in my life over the next few months:

- Going camping next weekend with five other friends. Looking forward to that.
- Race June 17 (described above)
- 10K race July 1
- Sprint tri July 8 - I'm racing against a friend who is evenly matched with me (we're in the same age/weight category). That should be fun (yet scary) since I've never raced against anyone before. I hope I win!
- Trip to Lake Placid at the end of July for training and to watch friends race the Ironman.
- Long course tri (2K/56K/15K) the first weekend in August.

The rest of my summer is pretty open.

Getting better

2007-02-17T10:37:00.000-05:00

My chiro has been a saviour this week. She's magical! I'm feeling a lot better now and I got the go-ahead from her to run if I feel OK, so I'm going to head to the treadmill this afternoon. Yay! I still have lower back pain, and bending over is still hard and painful, but it's coming along.

I also met with a dietician last week to see if I can drop these last 20 pounds. We're going to try for 10 pounds between now and when I leave for Italy in mid-April. This is a weird week to start because my activity level has been so low, but we're starting me at 1800 calories and will adjust from there. I'm still hovering around 170, though I'm not seeing spikes up to 173 like I had been before, so that's good. I'm fine as long as I can prepare my own food, but I was on a course for two days this week and went out for dinner on Thursday, so it's been hard to gauge my caloric intake (let alone control what's in my food).

I've also started communicating with a couple of guys on-line, so might have a pre-date with one of them this weekend. They are both triathletes, but they don't live in my city, so that could be a problem. We'll see.

I had applied for a new job at my company and had an interview a couple of weeks ago. Well, I got the call on Thursday that I didn't get the job. No biggie, I'm just bored in my current job, that's all. But then I had a meeting with my director yesterday afternoon and it looks like I'll be getting to work on some more interesting projects, so things are looking up.

Time to clean my bathroom...

laid up

2007-02-12T09:36:00.000-05:00

argh. i'm flat on my back - and unable to use caps, sorry - from a freak dressing incident. i had just done a 2-hour bike ride and was taking off my shorts when... pop. aaargh.

i've been hobbling around since saturday. i'm trying to get in to see my physio guy today. i hate it when my body doesn't do what i want it to do.

i just have to remind myself that it's 2 months to italy and i have to do whatever required to be healthy for that trip.

argh.

It's Official

2007-01-21T20:41:00.000-05:00

Yes, I am having a mid-life crisis.

That's the bad news. The good news is that I'm not having an affair with a 25-year-old or buying a sportscar I can't afford. Instead, I'm taking a trip to Italy with a bunch of strangers. Hmpf.

Seriously, I am having a mid-life crisis of sorts, but at least I'm aware that this is what's happening. And I'm not eating or drinking myself into oblivion. So that's good.

But it still makes for some tough times emotionally. I'm questioning a lot of things about myself and what I want from life. I'm trying really hard to figure out what I want my life to be (actually, this is the easier part). The harder part is figuring out how I'm going to go about achieving it. Sigh.

Oh, well... onward.

Revolutions

2007-01-11T20:04:00.000-05:00

I don’t really like making New Year’s Resolutions. It implies that I’m “bad” in some way and need to resolve to be better. I like to set goals for myself and then put a plan in place to achieve them.

That said, there are some things that I would like to be better at doing this year. One of them is being a more frequent blogger. Truth be told, I started my blog so that I would have an outlet to write about my feelings and the things that were going on in my life. But what I’ve found in the last little while is that I have many more outlets for this, including family and friends, so that the blog itself isn’t as necessary for that purpose.

I’m going through a bit of a personal revolution right now. I don’t want to call it a “mid-life crisis” because it’s not as bad as that. Maybe “renaissance” is a better word. Either way, I am definitely at a turning point right now. The good thing is that I am in a much better place than I was when I went through this 8-10 years ago. And, I have the benefit of experience from that time to help me through this.

The other thing I am grateful for is that I know that, however painful it might be at the time, the end result is very much worth it. And I will end up being happier than I ever thought possible.

I’ve also realized how multi-dimensional my life is and how happiness/contentment in one area doesn’t necessarily translate into overall happiness. I guess a little more balance is in order. But what I have to decide is whether I am willing to make sacrifices in one area of my life in order to help improve things in another area.

The other thing about this blog is that it’s kind of evolved over time. I’ve used it as a soapbox, to entertain, to track weight-loss progress, to document training goals and accomplishments, and sometimes just to vent or rant. I guess it will kind of continue in that vein. I’ve decided that I don’t owe anything to anyone in terms of keeping it up to date or writing about what anyone in particular wants to read about. As the saying goes, Dance like nobody is watching (or, in this case, Write like nobody is reading).

So, what is actually going on in my life write now?

Weight: I’m still hovering around 170-172. I’d really like to be 150. My “lowest weight ever” is 164.5. That said, I’m not really locked into a number on the scales so much as I’d like to be a particular size (e.g., a 10). I want to get my waist measurement down below 32 inches. I want to get these rolls of fat off my abdomen and back. If I can do that, I really don’t care about my actual weight. And given the fact that I have a fair amount of muscle mass, I likely will never be 135 pounds.

Training: Notice, I don’t even refer to it as “exercise”. To be frank, I love physical activity. I love being active. I don’t mind going to the gym. I love going for runs and bike rides with my friends. I don’t see it as a chore or a duty in any way. Lack of activity is not my vice; food is. My training goals for this year are:
· 30K race at the end of March – would love to come in between 3:00 and 3:10
· Cycling in Italy (April) – I have to get my butt in gear to be ready for eight days of cycling. [Gulp.]
· Triathlon: I have two goal races that are about the same distance (2K swim, 56K bike, 15K run). My PB at this distance is 4 hours and 24 minutes. In the first race, my goal is just to complete it since it’s a very tough course. In the second race, I’d love to take a few minutes off my swim and bike times.
· Running: I haven’t ruled out the idea of a fall marathon. I always said that I’d never run another marathon (unless it was part of Ironman) as the training is just too much. But I really don’t think that I’ve come anywhere close to my potential at that distance (PB of 4:48). The other option is to try to run a 2-hour half marathon, which is close to seven minutes faster than my current PB. A tall order, to say the least.

Food: Ugh. I have a love-hate relationship with food. I love it – a bit too much. The fact that I even have a “relationship” with food is an indication to me that there is a problem. I’m trying to eat less. I’m trying to eat for fuel and not for emotional reasons. I’m trying not to eat mindlessly. All of this is hard for me.

Work: Kinda sucks right now. Mostly because I’m bored (guess where I’m writing this???). I’ve applied for two jobs internally, but I’m not even really that jazzed about either of them. We’ll see what happens in the next few weeks.

Family: This area is pretty stable and my relationships here are good. Nothing much to report in this area.

Social: My social life is intertwined with my exercise life since the vast majority of my close friends and acquaintances are recreational athletes like I am. I’m very happy with the status of my friendships and they bring a lot to my life. The only thing I wish is that I could maintain closer relationships with old friends who aren’t part of my regular exercise-social group. I guess that’s just something I have to do.

Love Life: Kinds sucks right now, too. I’ve realized recently how much of a void this is in my life. I’ve done a pretty good job of filling the void with other things, but since the short-term relationship I had last spring ended, I’m really feeling it. All the things I’ve used as a substitute in the past (work, exercise, food) just aren’t cutting it anymore. The problem is, I don’t really know what I need to do to make a change in this area. It all seems so random. If you go looking for it and can’t find it, you’re told to just “relax and let it happen.” If you relax and wait for it to come to you, you’re told to “get out there, meet people, join a club doing something you love to meet like-minded people.” So, which is it??

Community: This is an area where I am really lacking. I feel bad about the fact that I do very little in terms of social/community work. I’ve made a commitment to myself that I will do one volunteer activity per month this year. I did one in November (Habitat) and another one in December (Scott Mission), but I have to figure out something to do this month. Ideally, I’d like to do the same thing every month, rather than have to figure out something new on a monthly basis. But I need to find the opportunity that is right for me. To some extent, my position with the Tri club would constitute as a community/volunteer activity, but it just doesn’t seem the same to me.

Education: Hmmm, that one has really been on the back burner for the last few years since I started training for running and triathlon. I guess it all comes down to the issue of balance again. And it’s also related to my job woes, since I don’t really know what I want to “do”, so I don’t know what type of education I should be pursuing.

So, that's where I am right now: in a bit of a holding pattern. Let's hope that 2007 brings me some clarity and peace of mind.

I Resolve...

2007-01-10T17:51:00.000-05:00

To be a more frequent blogger this year. Sorry.

Getting ready to head out for a run (hills). My big news is that I'm "training" for my spring vacation to Italy! It's a 10-day trip with eight days of cycling, so I've got to get in shape.

I didn't gain too much weight over the holidays and I'm back to where I was before (around 171), even flirted with 169 a couple of days this week! Woo!

Exercising six days a week, sometimes twice a day. My total workout time is about 7 hours per week and will go up from there.

Ciao for now!

Four Birthday Kisses

2006-12-09T10:42:00.000-05:00

How much better can a birthday get?

Last night, it was my run club's Christmas party. We put in a few extra bucks on the bar tab every Wednesday night throughout the year and the leftover cash (that our "CFO" puts into a special account) funds all our food/drink at the Christmas party. We ate, drank and danced up a storm last night (my feet are sooooooo sore!). We closed the place down and I didn't get home until about 2:20AM. Thankfully, I had the foresight to drink a few glasses of ice water towards the end of the night, so I wasn't too hung over this morning.

What was that part about four kisses?

Right, well, at midnight last night it was my birthday. So, my friends decided that I should have a tequila shooter at midnight to celebrate. I usually prefer my tequila in a margarita, but what the heck... After the shooter, I got lovely birthday kiss from four of my cute running friends (one after the other - NOT simultaneously - get your minds out of the gutter). That's a pretty darned good way to start my 44th year!

[I refuse to let the evening be spoiled by the fact that I was the only one who didn't have a partner for the last dance of the evening though... hmpf! But it did bring back some bad high-school memories.]

Now, off to run through the streets of town in nothing but a bathing suit and a Santa hat! Oh boy, it's gonna be coooooooold!

Meltdown

2006-11-21T21:18:00.000-05:00

I had a bit of a meltdown last week.

Non-BF and I had a great time in Florida. Things were really easy between us - no disagreements, no awkwardness, no getting on each other's nerves... none of the normal kind of stuff that happens while travelling. We had a really great time.

We get back on the Friday night and I'm feeling really good about our relationship/friendship. I didn't talk to him much on the Saturday (we were both busy). He didn't come to run club on Sunday and I was busy the rest of the day. Finally we touched base on Sunday night. Turns out he had been with his other "friend" (S) on Saturday evening and most of the day Sunday. Hmmm. OK.

On Monday, I e-mail him to see if he wants to come on a trail run with some friends the following Saturday. He replies back that he can't as he's going out of town. Out of town? Where? Montreal. Montreal? What for? Oh, S is going there for business and she asked me to come along. You're going to MONTREAL?? MY HOMETOWN?? WITH HER???

I lost it (which, for me, means I shut down and stopped communicating, turning my anger inward).

Since he's my Non-BF (emphasis on the NON part), I don't have any claims on him, his time or whom he chooses to spend his time with. But I just could NOT deal with the fact that he was going away to Montreal for the weekend with S.

I don't really hold grudges and tend to get over stuff fairly quickly, as long as I've had a chance to wallow in self-pity and shed many tears. I think I cried myself to sleep three nights in a row over this. After that, I had calmed down a bit.

On Thursday, he came over to deliver my bike (his offer to pick up my bike at the shop was somewhat of a peace offering, I guess). Things were civil yet distant between us and he picked up on my coldness right away. When he finally called me on my behaviour, I broke down in tears in his arms. We talked about what was bothering me:

The thing is, I know that he's not the one for me (and that his heart is still on hold for someone else), but I just felt so threatened by the fact that I felt like he was pulling away from me by going away with S for the weekend. What I realized is that I have this huge void in my life that he had been filling (even though not entirely). A lot of the void was also masked by how busy I was all spring/summer with my Ironman training. But now that that's over, the void is this big gaping hole that I don't know what to do about.

I took a huge risk when I allowed myself to open up to him last winter. I had always prided myself on how independant I was and how I didn't "need" anyone. The downside is that once I allowed myself to open up and feel (and it actually felt very good, regardless of how much I felt exposed and vulnerable), I now also feel the loss since I don't have anyone to share that part of myself with (leaving me to feel even more exposed and vulnerable).

On the surface, I have a really great life, a home of my own, lots of great friends and many great experiences, but that's only the surface. Underneath I am unfulfilled, empty and lonely. None of those things matter to me without someone to share it with.

As much as I am still sad and hurting, I'm very glad that we were able to have such an honest convesation. He provided me with some valueable feedback and his perspective on things. I know that he has my best interests at heart and will do whatever he can to help me fulfill my dreams.

The other good thing is that I know I've been here before (about eight years ago, in fact) as I was going through my physical transformation. I felt a similar sense of exposure when I first started losing weight as I didn't have a layer of protection anymore. At the time, I thought I was going to lose my mind or just cry myself into oblivion. I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't know if/when I'd ever get what I wanted. It was a really tough time.

But what I learned from that experience is that, no matter how hard times are, I will come through it. I will get what I want (even if it doesn't come in the form I think it will). So, I'm holding onto that knowledge, no matter how small or fragile a hope it might be. Because it's all I have right now.

Back from my mini-vacation

2006-11-11T16:16:00.000-05:00

My non-BF and I went to D1sney for a couple of days. He won the trip through work. We were only there for two and a half days, but it was so nice to get away and relax.

We had one free park pass (each), so we chose to go to Epc0t. That was a good choice. I really like the "Soarin'" ride. And "Mission to Mars" was intense.

We laughed at the Canada pavillion. The girls working there were dressed like lumberjacks and the movie about Canada was 23 years old!! Heck, some of the biggest buildings in downtown Toronto weren't even in the movie! Sheesh! I found that most of the indoor spaces smelled old and musty. Blech! Time for a facelift, Epc0t!!

I kind of ate like crap (meaning, whatever I wanted) while I was there (and even a bit since getting home last night), so I have to reign myself in a bit. I haven't stepped on the scales since I've been back. I think I was 171 before I left.

Today, I've just been running errands and drywalling a bit. I bought new running shoes since mine were almost toast.

I've pretty much recovered from my half marathon last weekend (we ran while we were in FLA and it felt good). I think I'll run 12K or so tomorrow. Next weekend, I'm meeting up with some friends to do a trail run (not a race, just a group run).

Next week, it's back to diligently working out. Note to self: Must start weight training again. Meh.

New Half-Marathon PB!

2006-11-05T15:19:00.000-05:00

I wasn't sure what to expect going into this race. It's been a long year of IM training and I wasn't sure if I had rested enough. I had thoughts of "PB" dancing around in the back of my mind, but I wasn't sure if I had it in me. I got my current PB (2:09:14) at this same race last year, so I was willing to give it another shot to see if the course would be good to me again.

I was relaxed going in. I didn't feel any pressure, just the normal pre-race excitement. It was great connecting with lots of my friends from the running club, too.

My plan was to try to stay in front of the 2:15 pace bunny (BG) and hold onto the 2:00 bunny (DG) as long as I could. Well, I lost sight of DG before the first kilometer marker (which I'm sure was off because my watch said I ran it in 4:51!). The 1-mile marker seemed to be right, though (9:40).

I also decided to follow my "average pace" on my SDM and use that as the gauge. For more than the first half, I was just under 6:00/km. I was kind of shocked by that because it's about 10 seconds/km faster than I normally run this distance. But I was feeling good, so I stuck with it.

This was also the first time in a long time that I raced with music. I pre-programmed my Nano with the best running tunes I could find, and tried to put them in order that I'd want/need to hear them.

The downside to running with music is that I couldn't hear my watch beep for walk breaks, so I had to keep looking at my watch. As a result, I didn't take them regularly every 10 minutes and they weren't a full minute long.

By the time I hit the 14K mark, my average pace had started to slow down to about 6:04 (this was the up-hilliest part of the course). It stayed at 6:04 all the way until the 18K mark when I decided to go for broke. I took my final walk break at the aide station there and then hunkered down and drove it home.

Just as I was getting to the 19K mark, an old favourite "earworm" of mine and my friend BG came on: "S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y-NIGHT! S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y-NIGHT!" That really got me going and I picked the pace up significantly. Then at the 20K mark, "Clocks" by Coldplay came on and I thought, Yeah, this is the perfect song to take me home. Finish before it's over, La.

Well, I hammered as hard as I could and as I got close to the finish line I saw the clock turning from 2:06:59 to 2:07:00. Yes, it was going to be a new PB!

Official chip time: 2:06:55!! Oh, baby! That was 2 minutes and19 seconds off my previous PB! That's smokin'! I really feel that sub-2:06 is within my grasp now. I honestly didn't think I had it in me as it seemed so far away from my previous PB of 2:09:14 (which had taken me 6 years to achieve).

Anyway, I'm sore. My hammies are killing me, but my friend's hot tub is calling my name, so I'll end my report here.

Snow

2006-10-29T15:28:00.000-05:00

It snowed here this weekend. Actually, I was up north at a cottage for the weekend and it snowed there.

The view from the cottage door

I went for a run this morning. Mine were the first footsteps in the snow. I love that.

My footstep

Down the road a bit

So nice and white... not for long!

I ran almost 7K. Not super far, but I have a race next Sunday (1/2 Marathon), so that's fine. Besides, I was taken aback by the beauty, solitude and freshness. I had to keep stopping to admire it.

Ten Years

2006-09-30T22:12:00.000-04:00

It just occurred to me that this month marks my 10-year anniversary of starting my fitness and weight-loss lifestyle. Oh, I had tried in the past and made half-hearted attempts at it, but this was the first time that I actually stuck with it and was successful.

It was a fairly long process (getting started, that is) - from the time I saw Bob Green on Oprah and bought his book that day; to finally getting signed on at the company gym and going for my first workout: about a month in total. So, things got kicked off the second week of September and I stepped on the treadmill for the first time at 6AM, Friday, October 11, 1996.

Weird, you might think, to start a fitness regime on a Friday. And the Friday before a holiday weekend, to boot!

I still remember how I felt when I got off that treadmill: I thought my legs and feet were detached from my body and I felt like I was floating across the room. The redness didn't leave my face until well after lunch. But after that long holiday weekend, I was back to the gym at 6AM on Tuesday morning and every weekday morning after that for over a year. To be honest, I was afraid that if I missed just one morning that I would quit altogether and fail yet again. I was partly motivated by fear.

But here I sit (yes, alone again on a Saturday night - oops, laundry is done... be right back), ten years later weighing at least 65 pounds lighter than I did that morning back in October of 1996. My losses were not dramatic at first and I hit lots of plateaus along the way, but I'm very proud of what I've accomplished. I don't know what the stats are, but I know that it's only a very small percentage of people who have been able to maintain a significant weight loss for 5 or more years.

I started at 235 pounds. The first 20-25 pounds came off fairly quickly. During that time, I also started running and even took up triathlon in '99. But as active as I was, I was unable to crack the 200-pound mark. In the fall of '99 I decided to do something that I had been considering for some years but never had the courage to do: have breast reduction surgery. I also discovered the power of the low-carb diet and was able to shed another 40 pounds in about 4 months so that I'd be within the guidelines that my surgeon recommended for me. On the day I went in for surgery, I was down to 174 pounds. I only lost about another five pounds post-op before I started to gain a bit back. I gained/lost off and on for the next couple of years.

By January of 2003, my weight had creeped back up to 188. I started my own version of "boot camp" and was able to lose about 15 pounds in the following months. That summer, I completed Ironman Lake Placid (2.4-mile swim, 112-mile bike, 26-mile run) in 16 hours and 33 minutes, weighing about 178 pounds, which is kind of where I hovered for the next 2-3 years.

Earlier this year, I finally was able to lose another 10 pounds or so, and post my "lowest weight ever" of 164 pounds. My weight creeped up a bit during Ironman training again this summer, but I was able to stabilize around 172. And I felt like my weight was distributed differently than it had been when I was at that weight before.

After my summer adventures, I allowed myself to eat and drink whatever I wanted and the other day I stepped on the scales and saw 175.6lbs. Oh, no... I've worked much too hard to get this weight off, I'm not going to let it creep back on again.

So, I took a radical approach and cut a bunch of stuff out of my diet. A friend of mine recently did a "cleanse" where he wasn't allowed to each much of anything other than chicken, fish, vegetables and rice. No caffeine, no sugar, no dairy, no wheat. Well, there was no way I could go full steam with a plan like that, so I made a couple of little changes:

1. No sugar, except where it was unavoidable (my soy milk contains sugar as do some condiments and things like that)
2. Limit dairy to milk in my coffee (no lattes, no cheese)
3. Cut way down on wheat and flour (no pasta, no mini-wheats for breakfast, no bread)
4. No potatoes, so the only "starches" I'm eating are rice and corn
5. Obviously, since sugar/flour are out, no baked goods of any kind. That includes processed treats like granola bars and the like.
6. No alcohol

Only one exception: When running, I am allowed to take energy gels, sports drinks and protein shakes (post-run), even though they contain sugar, wheat and/or dairy.

The first week has gone pretty well. I switched to oatmeal for breakfast with just a touch of real maple syrup. I was able to stay away from pasta/flour. I did cave a bit and allowed myself one low-fat chocolate pudding per day as a treat (otherwise I'd go mental).

My stomach kind of protested a bit, although I'm not quite sure why. I've never been one to have stomach issues, but I've been noticing little pains and discomforts over the last week. And the good news is that as of today I'm back down to 170lbs.

So, that is how I'm celebrating my 10-year anniversary: By re-committing myself to good eating.

Some Before & After photos:

July 1996 (my security badge photo)

September 1996 (in Chicago, days before I bought Bob Green's book)

September 1999 (my first half-marathon)

November 2005 (the New Me!)

Home alone on a Saturday night...

2006-09-16T20:12:00.000-04:00

How pathetic am I? Yes, I'm home alone on a Saturday night, just me and my piles of boxes and stuff to sort through. I mean, I don't really have to sort through any of it right this minute, but I really have nothing better to do.

How exciting is my life? Well, I bought new white sheets today (300-thread count) with some crisp brown piping along the edge. I laundered them and they came out of the dryer in a mass of wrinkles, so I spent the next 45 minutes ironing them. Argh! I HATE ironing! I didn't bother with the fitted bottom sheet (how would you iron that anyway, what with the elastic all around the edge??), but the pillow cases and top sheet had to be done.

And I did this as my former non-boyfriend lay on my bed after popping by on his way out on a date WITH ANOTHER GIRL!! [In his defense, he came by to drop off one of my drawers that he had fixed for me since the runner along the bottom had broken off and was a big pain to open/close.]

Oh yes, I have quite the life!

So, my bed is made with my fresh new sheets. And I'll be sleeping in it alone, yet again.

[Sigh]

But the good news is that this same former non-boyfriend is taking me on a trip to D1sney in November! He won an award at work and the trip is his reward. I was very happy when he asked me to go with him. I had to juggle some commitments at work to be able to go, but it all worked out.

To be honest, I probably would have been pretty devastated had he asked one of his other non-girlfriends to go with him, although I didn't tell him that. I told him that I would of course be honoured/excited if he asked me to go, but that if he chose to take someone else that I wouldn't be mad at him or hate him. I did tell him that I'd be disappointed, but it wouldn't be an end to our friendship or anything.

I was trying to play the "all cool" card, but that's often gotten me into trouble in the past as it sometimes appears that I don't care (when I really do). I wanted him to know that I did care, but I didn't want him to take me simply out of a sense of obligation or because he was worried that I'd be mad at him if he didn't. I wanted him to take me because he wanted to share this experience with me and nobody else.

But I know that the person he really wanted to share it with is the same person who still has a stranglehold on his heart. And that person isn't me.

Square One

2006-09-07T21:19:00.000-04:00

I'm having a feeling of deja vu. Here I am, another race season behind me and September in front of me and I'm STILL at virtually the EXACT. SAME. WEIGHT. I was last year. Grrr.

I hate having to get back on the weight-loss bandwagon every fall. Every fall I tell myself that this year will be different. And to be honest, I did pretty well last fall, managing to shed a fair amount of weight, getting down to a new alltime low of 164 pounds.

But after another season of training for/racing triathlon, I'm right back where I was this time last year: 172 pounds. [sigh]

That said, I do know that my body composition has changed somewhat and that I am "thinner" than I was this time last year - I can see it in my face. And to be honest, I'm actually about 3-4 pounds lighter than I was this time last year. Not a major difference, but lighter none the less.

In the scheme of things, I'm not entirely unhappy with the way my body is right now. But that doesn't mean that I'm not still motivated to make some changes.

I've cut out a lot of junk food this week (except that I caved today and had an ice cream bar at break because our department was celebrating the achievements of some of the staff). But I'm still really, really hungry all the time as my body is still recovering from my race and is craving certain things and wants more volume of food. I know that if I just hold tight for a week or two things will be back to normal in no time.

I started back running again this week. Actually, I went for a 20-min run last Friday, followed by a 70-min run on Sunday and another 38 minutes last night. And I made an appearance at the gym on Tuesday for some elliptical and weights. I'm feeling pretty good (except for the fact that my biceps, shoulders and abs are BURNING IN PAIN now). I've signed up for another race in November (half marathon) so that will give me something to train for and look forward to. I just hope I've recovered enough to start back into training.

The Big Weight-Loss Lie

I've come to the realization that the scales lie and that burning more calories than you consume does not necessarily result in weight loss. Also, that if you see a 1-pound loss on the scales that it does not necessarily mean that you burned 3,500 more calories than you consumed. I've discovered this, you see, as I've seen my body weight fluctuate from 169 to 174 within a 2- to 3-day period. There is NO WAY that my calorie intake/expenditure has manifested itself in such rapid (and random) body weight fluctuations. And I don't blame it on the scales or on variations in the time of day that I weigh myself. I weigh myself unclothed daily and can sometimes see fluctuations of two pounds from one day to the next. So what gives?

The conclusion I've come to is that there are far more things going on in our bodies on a daily basis that affects how much we actually "weigh". And I'm trying not to stress myself out over those fluctuations. Likely, it's nothing more than water retention/expulsion that is causing the fluctuations. What I'm looking for now is a downward trend as opposed to a lower weight day after day. For people who are also increasing their level of physical activity, they're also building muscle mass and bone density, which can sometimes appear as a weight gain (even though they may be losing fat).

So, I'm still journalling my food (to keep me honest so that junk food and poor snack choices are more the exception than the rule) and weighing myself daily, but I'm not going to stress myself out over every little fluctuation in body weight. The key word here is: "trend". That's what I'm looking for, a downward trend. And smaller clothing sizes.

The other part of this lie is that the rate at which we burn calories does not stay constant. Calculating (or even estimating) calorie expediture is nearly impossible, even with expensive testing. The thing is, I know from personal experience that when I am training for a distance event like a marathon or long-distance triathlon that I have no chance at all of losing weight. I believe that my metabolism goes into conservation mode and holds onto all its fat, rather than using it as fuel. I think cortisol (the stress hormone) might have a role to play in that, but I have to research that a bit further.

I really wish that someone could tell me exactly how much I should eat and in what fat/pro/carb ratio so that I can lose my excess fat weight and keep it off. It's not that I'm not willing to exercise and eat well - it's just that everything I know how to do doesn't seem to be yielding results, so something must be off.

Bah! Enough about food and weight loss! I wanna just live my life and have some fun. Things I'm looking forward to this fall:

- Getting my condo in shape and building storage and an office space so that I'm not surrounded by boxes upstairs anymore.

- Socializing with friends and drinking some really good wine and hosting dinner parties at my place.

- Maybe even going on a date (or two or three), although I'm not holding my breath on that one.

[Actually, I should explain: I'm still really close friends with the guy I was seeing back in the spring, but we both decided that we wanted different things (meaning: I wanted an exclusive relationship and he did not) so we ended that aspect of our relationship. But I honestly think we are closer than ever and care very deeply about each other. He's the last person I talk to before bed every night. It's going to be hard for me to date anyone else so long as the two of us are still such close friends, but I guess we'll deal with that if and when the time comes. One of the most positive things that came out of our brief encounter was the fact that I am now more optimistic than ever about my prospects of finding the partnership/relationship that I want.]

I'm tired now, so I'm going to end this. Night, all.

La's Ironman Canada Race Report

2006-09-03T11:00:00.000-04:00

People often ask me, “What do you think about for 15+ hours while you’re out there during the race. To be honest, I was mostly thinking about what I would write in this report. I’d tell myself, “Oh, remember to write about this part in your report.” So here it is, the report that was 15 hours (and many months) in the making.

In some ways, the second time around is harder – harder to stay focused through training, but also harder on race day because you remember how much pain you’re going to feel. But in other ways, it’s so much easier – easier to make it through the tough times because you know you can do it. And you know that any pain is worth the feeling of crossing that finish line.

The week leading up to the race was very relaxed. My hotel was right across the street from the beach and less than 1K from where the finish line would be. One of the benefits of having done this before was that I wasn’t stressed by all the pre-race preparations since I’d “been there, done that” three years ago. On the Friday before the race I went for a drive along the bike course. Penticton has a single-loop bike course (as opposed to two loops in Lake Placid and three or more loops on many other courses). The countryside in the Okanagan Valley is spectacular! There were vineyards, orchards and horse farms all along the way. I also got a chance to see the challenging course that I would be riding on Sunday. The climb up through Richer Pass was definitely going to be a challenge, but did not appear to be impossible. And the climb to Yellow Lake seemed to be over before it even began – in the car, that is.

I had tons of friends out in BC – either as competitors or spectators. The friends who were staying at my hotel nicknamed themselves “Team Candy Ass” since they were not racing (although Emma and Lynn are previous Ironman finishers themselves). It was great to see people I knew almost everywhere I went. Penticton is a small city, so you’re always bumping into people. I had two friends from Vancouver (Melly & Craig), one old high school friend, Allison, plus tons of friends from the Toronto Triathlon Club – Neil, Jacob, Jen, Chris, Dave, Ed, Heather – plus Kathryn and Leslie, two friends from my neighbourhood. My mum and my friend, Leo, were also there to support me and cheer me on.

I tried as much as possible in the days leading up to the race to stay on “Toronto Time”, so that I wouldn’t have a hard time getting up early on race day. I was in bed by 9PM most nights and always up by 6AM, so when my alarm went off at 4:20AM race morning, I was actually already awake. I had some breakfast and then just waited until it was time to leave. I had prepped everything the night before (all my transition and special needs bags), so all I had to do was walk over to the site and put my last-minute things in place. Things always take longer on race morning than you expect as there are lineups for everything, so I was getting a little stressed by the length of the port-o-potty lineup I was in. In the end, I had plenty of time. I gave Kathryn and Leslie hugs for good luck and made my way down to the beach.

Walking through the archway leading to the beach, I started to get a little teary. It was all I could do to hold back my tears and not break down. It was all very emotional. Once I made it to the beach, I spotted Team Candy Ass by the fence so I went over to say Hi. They were all dressed up with these red/silver metallic wigs and had huge signs for me, Neil, Jacob and Ed. My sign had my head on the body of Ursula Andress (a Bond Girl from the ‘60s) that read, “Lesley as The Bond Girl” (in honour of the occupation I listed on my race entry form). I posed for some photos with my sign and said farewell to my cheering section and headed to the water’s edge.

My goggles were fogging before the race even started, so I was fiddling around with them trying to clear them when one of the lenses popped out! OMG – the race is less than 5 minutes from starting and I’m missing a lens in my Seal Mask! I didn’t panic and just calmly worked the lens back into the frame of the goggles.

The countdown began and then the cannon went off! BOOM! 2,350 competitors entered the water. I positioned myself a bit to the left and sort of in the middle of the pack. It was a bit crowded at first, but I swam a line about 25m off the buoy line, so it wasn’t as crowded over there. Some woman swam right over me (my butt/legs), so I kicked her. I mean, c’mon! If someone is in your way (i.e., in FRONT of you), then you should go around them, not over top of them. Making the turn at the first houseboat was a bit crowded (1600m and my watch said 30:45), as was the next 450m to the next turn (39:xx). After making that turn, the sun was right in my eyes, so I couldn’t see where I should be swimming. I just followed the pack and hoped they were going in the right direction. Eventually, I spotted a landmark that I could sight off – a large construction crane that was right at the beach. That really helped. I fought the urge to look at my watch after that. I told myself that it wasn’t important. As I got to the beach, the crowd had moved into the water and were standing there thigh-deep cheering us all on. I glanced at my watch as I stood up: 1:20:xx!! Woo hoo!! Goal #1 on the day was met! I figured I sacrificed some time by swimming an outside line that would be less crowded and I was OK with that.

Transition went well. I went to two male strippers (how bad does that sound!!) and my wetsuit was off in no time – they even helped me up off the ground. I grabbed my bag and ran into the tent. It was really packed, but I managed to find a chair. I changed everything so that I’d be starting the bike in nice dry clothes. I put some of my own sunscreen on (it burned on my face) but then got one of the volunteers to spray some onto the backs of my arms/shoulders since I couldn’t really reach there. I grabbed my bike and was off. I forgot to hit the split on my watch until I was already on my way up Main St., so I wasn’t sure how long I’d been in transition.

The crowds on Main St. were at least six people deep! It was like being a the Tour! I spotted Leo who took a photo of me as I went by. Then I heard another friend call my name and I gave a wave to her. Next thing I knew, I was making the turn onto South Main with a nice gradual downhill and a tailwind. The scenery here is gorgeous – breathtaking, actually. I brought a single-use camera so that I could capture some of the beauty (photos to follow). The first challenge on the bike came at about the 15K mark with a 1K climb upMcLean Creek Road. I had seen the climb during my drive on Friday and wasn’t worried about it. It wasn’t unlike the climbs I’ve done here at home. Neil passed me at the beginning of the climb. The crowds started to get thick again as we came into Okanagan Falls (OK Falls). The next 40K or so through Oliver down to Osoyoos was flat to downhill, so my average speed really picked up. At this point, Ed passed me. I did stop once along here to use the “spa” while a volunteer held my bike for me (they were all soooooo nice and helpful). By the time I made it to Osoyoos my average pace for the first 67K was 29kph. That’s just unheard of for me. But then the climb to Richer Pass was ahead of me and I knew my pace would begin to decline from there.

Richter was just as tough (and beautiful) as I thought it would be. It was stinking hot, too. I had been leapfrogging with this man named Marty along the way from OK Falls to Osoyoos. When I passed him on the climb to Richer, I said, “You’re not going to let a girl pass you on this climb, are you??” We both just laughed. The crowd support along here was great. The weird thing was that the aid station was not at the top of the hill, but part way up the final climb. I thought that if I stopped to refill my bottle here that I wouldn’t be able to get going again, so I grabbed a bottle of water and held onto it for the last climb. I then pulled over and refilled my bottle. I was pretty wiped when I got to the top, so I didn’t fully enjoy the descent that followed. This climb is followed by a series of what they call “rollers”, but I would say that they’re fairly significant climbs themselves. I passed the 90K mark in 3:35 and was feeling quite good. As expected, I was passed by several people during the bike course, but I lost count at how many people (men and women) commented on how much they liked my orange flowered jersey. At the 100K mark, this guy passed me and said, “Looking good” (or something to that effect) and then we both realized that we knew each other – it was my friend Brian’s friend, Tim, whom I’d met during a training ride in the Gatineaus back in May.

The next stretch of the course (aka, The Out and Back) was brutal, but mostly mentally. I knew that the Special Needs area would be here and that it would be at the 120K point. But this section was hot and hilly, both of which I hate. The good thing was that after all the climbing on the way in, it was mostly downhill on the way back out. At this point, I also started to have some stomach issues as well as some major chaffing in the creases of my legs that made every pedal stroke painful. I really wanted this bike ride to be over.

There’s a fairly flat section leading up to the climb to Yellow Lake, which starts at the 143K mark. I still had some liquid with me on the bike, but it was warm and salty and the last thing I wanted to drink. I saw Team Candy Ass along here and that helped to pick up my spirits, if only for a short time. The climb was brutal – mostly because of the heat and the fact that I was just exhausted. Kathryn passed me somewhere along this climb. I couldn’t drink on the climb and my eyes and mouth were full of salt and sweat. By the time I got to the aid station at the top, all I could say (yell, actually) was WATER!! I guzzled half a 700mL bottle at once and then grabbed another to put on my bike. I knew that there was maybe one more little climb before I began the descent into town. I was struggling a bit along here when I saw my friend Jennifer from Edmonton with her sign that said, “How Badly Do You Want It?” Well, that was exactly what I needed to see. I stopped feeling sorry for myself and just pressed on for the final 20K. The descent was great, but VERY windy, so I had to ride the brakes most of the way. I still managed to get up to 69kph, though. Luckily, it wasn’t too crowded on the course at this point, so I had a clear shot at the descent. Cars were not a factor, either.

As I was approaching the end of the descent I spotted my friend Chris. I was surprised that I was able to catch him as he’s a much faster cyclist that I am. He eventually caught back up to me and we rode side-by-side for a bit while he told me that he’d been having trouble with his tires all day and had a severe wobble at speeds over 40kph, so he had to hold back the entire race. That really sucked for him.

The ride back into town was great – all downhill with lots of cheering fans. I heard a runner call my name, but I wasn’t sure who it was (I later learned it was Dave from the Club). I saw Kathryn heading out on the run just as I was getting off my bike and we said Hi to each other. I hit the split on my watch and it was 7:36-something, but since I hadn’t hit my swim/bike split right away, I knew that it was off by a bit. My official bike split was 7:38:20. That was 49 minutes faster than Lake Placid. Woo!

T2 was uneventful. A volunteer came over to help, but I told her that I was fine and didn’t want my stuff dumped out of my bag. I grabbed my Fuel Belt, but it felt very tight around my stomach and was quite uncomfortable. I started my 7:3 intervals on my watch and began to run. Well, my body would have none of that, so I started walking right away. The course starts with an out-and-back along Lakeshore Drive, right past my hotel. I knew that my mum and Leo would be there, and they were. I gave my mum a big hug and said that I’d see her again in about 6 hours (when we had to do the same out-and-back before crossing the finish line). Leo ran with me for a bit, then Chris caught up to me and we ran/walked a bit together. I needed to walk, so Chris continued on, but I could always see him in the distance as he wasn’t moving very quickly.

My stomach still did not feel good. I tried using the “spa” at about the 2-mile mark, but I didn’t get any relief. You know the old limerick:

Here I sit, broken hearted
Paid my dime and only […]

You can fill in the blank.

I visited several “spas” along the way, all with the same lack of results. This was the major reason why I was reduced to a walk in the first half of the marathon. Every time I tried to run the gas in my intestines started to hurt. My pecs and abs were also sore, so running was hard on those, too.

I decided to dump my Fuel Belt early on when I saw my friends Sara and Colleen (from Edmonton) at about the 3-mile mark. I took what I thought I needed from my pack and decided to rely on the aid stations for everything else. It was a risky move (I’d never run without my own “stuff” before), but I took a chance. I got through on grapes, pretzels, Gatorade, Pepsi, ice and chicken soup. Actually, it was the Pepsi that ended up being the best thing, especially towards the end. Can’t go wrong with sugar and caffeine, eh?

About an hour into the run/walk, I met up with my old “pal”, Marty, again. We walked together for quite a while – almost to the turnaround. We were going at a good clip (we were “walking with aggression” as Lisa Bentley would say), so we actually caught and passed Chris at one of the aid stations. Marty was a 64-year old from North Van doing his first IM. Walking and chatting with him was a nice distraction. Eventually we parted ways when I said that I wanted to try running a bit (he couldn’t as he had an injured knee).

The nice thing about an out-and-back marathon is that you get to see all your friends – regardless of who is in ahead/behind. Before my turnaround, I saw Craig, Melly, Neil, Ed and Kathryn. After the turnaround I saw Chris, Leslie and then Jen. I was glad that Leslie and Jen had made it off their bikes as I hadn’t seen them all day.

There’s a fairly long downhill leading to the special needs area at the turnaround, so I decided to try running. It felt pretty good. I grabbed my bag and took a few things out, but mostly dumped everything else. The little bottles of Scope that I had put in both mybike and run special needs bags were really great as I was starting to feel like my teeth and tongue had sweaters on them from all the sugary stuff I’d been eating. I also grabbed my headlamp, but it wouldn’t fit on my head with my hat, so I wrapped it around my wrist and carried it. It ended up being a godsend out there in the dark, that’s for sure.

I saw that my time at the turnaround was 3:25 (or so) and I thought to myself that there’s NO WAY I’m going to walk the rest of this marathon and post a 7+ hour time. No way! So I figured I better start running some. The other benefit of having done this before was that I remember from Lake Placid in ’03 that when I finally did run the last mile or so into the finish, it didn’t hurt as much and was much easier than I expected. At the time, I thought if I had known that, I would have started running sooner! I kept that in mind as I began to run. And sure enough, it really did feel better to run than to walk. The only thing keeping me from running earlier was my stomach, but by the half-way point that really felt better, so I was able.

When I got to the top of the climb that I had run down before the turnaround, I spotted my friends Jennifer and Jordan (from Edmonton) on their bikes. They stayed with me for quite a while until it got dark and they had to ride back. It was great to have some company along the way. I was also able to start running again at this point. At first, I just ran the downhills. Then, I ran some of the flats. I wasn’t running by any prescribed intervals, just running when I felt I could and walking when I couldn’t run anymore. I was determined to run the final 3 miles into town since it was a nice gradual downhill.

Someone commented to me when I was power-walking that I looked like a school teacher who was marching out to the schoolyard to discipline some children! Quite the description! But mostly the comments from people were about how good a pace I was running. In the second half of the marathon I passed so many people that I lost count. When I was running, I might have actually been doing 10:30 or so per mile. I was trying really hard to do some math to figure out if I could make my 15:30 goal time and by my feeble calculations, I knew that it was possible, but only if I ran much more than I walked, so I kept that in mind.

I spotted Sara and Colleen again at the 23-mile mark, so I grabbed my Fuel Belt from them and continued on my way. I did have to take a couple of walk breaks along that stretch, but I always set a limit like a cross-walk or a light post where I’d start running again.

The final run down Main St. and Lakeshore Drive was great. I could hear the finish line announcer in the distance and that really got me going. I took one final walk break before hitting Lakeshore where I knew that Leo and my mum would be. I saw Leo first and he ran with me until we got to where my mum was sitting. She was surprised to see me so early! I gave her a big hug and a kiss and dropped off my Fuel Belt, glow stick and flashlight with her. Leo ran the last stretch with me and then left me just before the finishing chute. There was a man a few feet in front of me and Leo said, “You’re going to have to pass this guy or let him go, otherwise you’ll ruin your finish line photo.” I let him go as he was running at a good clip. As I was in the final stretch, there were two women walking in font of me, so I blew past both of them and had the finish line all to myself! All I remember the announcer saying was “Lesley T of Toronto – who lists her occupation as Bond Girl”. Sadly, I don’t remember the song that was playing.

Final time: 15:32:32! My run was 6:13, which was only 4 minutes faster than Lake Placid, but faster is faster, so I’ll take it. Overall, I was almost a full hour faster (59:45) than my first IM, so I was very happy about that.

I got my medal, T-Shirt and finisher’s hat. My “catchers” took me into the food tent and I got two slices of pizza. They offered me fruit and some other things, but I said that I’d had enough of that stuff out on the course – I wanted REAL food.

Although I would have liked to stay to see my other friends finish (Chris, Leslie and Jen were still behind me), I just couldn’t stand or sit any longer – I needed to be horizontal. Leo walked me back to the hotel and then went back to watch the finish and try to find Jen, who was still out there somewhere.

Final stats:

Swim: 1:20:52 (87/146 in AG W40-44, 1540/2352 overall), pace: 2:08/100m
T1: 9:23
Bike: 7:38:20 (124/146, 2144/2352)
T2: 10:33
Run: 6:13:26 (109/146, 1751/2352)
Total: 15:32:32 (117/149 in W40-44 age group, 1949/2352 overall, 10/12 in Athena 40+ category, 19/26 in Athenas Overall)

Although I don’t place a lot of stock in AG rankings, I thought it was interesting that I placed higher in the run than the bike! I never think of running as my strong suit, so I expected that I’d place higher in the bike, but that wasn’t the case. And my Athena ranking wasn’t that great, but it doesn’t really matter.

Overall, it was a great experience. The OK Valley is GORGEOUS and I could certainly see myself doing this race again in the future (but not next year).

At the Awards Banquet on Monday they showed the race video. Thanks to Team Candy Ass, I made it onto the video posing with my Bond Girl poster before the swim start. Emma and Lynn also made it on with their wigs, costumes and signs. Neil even made the cut as they interviewed him while he was climbing Richer Pass!

To anyone thinking that they’d like to attempt this challenge themselves in the future, I say: GO FOR IT! You will not be disappointed.

I’m going to end this awfully long report with my overall thoughts on this accomplishment and try to put things into perspective for myself. After my first IM in Lake Placid I was quite emotional at the finish, but also a little bit let down. As I was sitting in the change tent all alone I had this feeling of “Is that all there is?” This time, I didn’t have the same feeling. I guess the difference was that in my first race I perhaps expected something magical and special from Ironman that I just never found. I didn’t have that same expectation this time around. I realized that it’s fine to have a goal – even really big goals like this one – but that the true meaning comes in the weeks and months of training FOR the goal, rather than in achieving the goal itself. I’m not sure how else to describe it. Yes, I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, but it’s not something that anyone with the appropriate training and dedication couldn’t do. I don’t consider myself “changed” or “special” in any way – which is what I expected the first time and was let down when I didn’t feel it. In the days leading up to the race everyone was parading around town in their T-Shirts advertising which races they had done. They wore them like badges of honour, almost. I deliberately went the other way and wore nothing other than my one Cervelo T and a couple of my run club Ts. Other than the participant’s wrist band (and my tattoo) there was nothing about me that would suggest that I was a competitor in this race (in fact, they often mistook Leo for the competitor and me for his support crew, instead of the other way around). I guess I’m saying this because I kind of feel a little bit like Dorothy at the end of The Wizard of Oz when Glinda says to her, “You’ve had the power all along.” And that’s very true – Ironman did not make me who I am, I already was that person and Ironman just confirmed it. So, whether your dream is Ironman, Kona, Boston or your first 5K or try-a-tri, know that you already ARE that person – achieving those other goals will only serve as external validation. Be proud of yourself, wherever you are in your journey.

Swim, Bike, Run, WOO!

2006-08-29T21:43:00.000-04:00

I'm back. Full report to follow. The short story is:

Swim 1:20
Bike: 7:38
Run: 6:13
Final: 15:32:32

Most goals met! I had an awesome time racing, as tough as it was. Took 55 minutes of my Lake Placid time in '03.

Time to rest now...

Penticton Bound!

2006-08-21T10:12:00.000-04:00

Well, kids, I'm off to Penticton, BC (via Kelowna, BC) tomorrow morning. The day I have been training for the last 6+ months is less than a week away. Next Sunday, August 27th at 7AM PDT I'll be at the starting line with 2500 other people getting ready to swim 3.8K (2.4 miles), bike 180K (112 miles) and run 42.2K (26.2 miles). Yes, this is the Ironman.

I had lofty goals at the beginning of the year that I'd be able to take 90 minutes off my time at Lake Placid in 2003 and finish in 15 hours. I'm not 100% confident that I can do that, but I do know that (elements willing) I'll be able to do better than last time.

Goal #1: 16:59:59 (i.e., make the midnight cutoff)
Goal #2: 16:32:00 (faster than last time)
Goal #3: Sub-16 hours
Goal #4: Sub-15:30
Goal #5a: Swim sub-1:20
Goal #5b: Bike sub-8:00
Goal #5c: Run sub-6:00
The Stars Align Goal: Sub-15:00

All I have left to do before I leave is:

1. Pack. Well, all my stuff is IN my suitcase (piled up), I just have to arrange it properly so that it all fits.
2. Clean house. My kitchen and bathrooms are in desperate need.
3. Go for an easy swim (only 20-30 minutes at the pool across the street).
4. Chill out!

My flight is at 8:10AM tomorrow. I fly to Kelowna then get my rental car and drive 45 minutes south to Penticton. I can't wait!! With the time change, I'll get in around 10AM their time. Since on race day I'll be getting up at 4AM, I don't want to get off Eastern time too much in the five days before the race, so it will be early to bed and early to rise all week.

Catch you all on the flip side! Full report to follow some time next week.

Oops!

2006-07-13T17:16:00.000-04:00

Sorry, I guess I've been gone for a while. Still loving the condo. Broke up with the guy, but we're still the best of friends (really!). Training like CRAZY for Ironman (less than 7 weeks to go!). So, I don't really have much time to write.

This weekend, I'll be going on a 6-hour bike ride followed by a 1-hour run/walk. Did 5:45/0:35 last weekend. I'm pretty zonked. I'm training about 12-14 hours per week right now.

Weight is OK - hovering around 170-172, which is up about 5 pounds from my lowest weight ever, but still within a good range for me (for now). Will probably get serious about it again in the fall.

La, out!

Yes, I'm still alive

2006-04-19T22:32:00.000-04:00

Ack! Whou would have thought that moving and training for Ironman would keep me so damned busy! I barely have time to check e-mail, let alone post a journal entry. Oh, well...

Training is going OK. I still have not been on my bike as often (or for as long) as I'd like. I really feel like I'm behind the eight ball. Sigh. Running is fine and so is swimming. In fact, I'm doing a 5,000m swim this weekend for the Arthritis Society! That's 200 lengths of a 25m pool! Yikes! The longest distance I've ever swam was 3,800m and that was nearly 3 years ago. On Tuesday, I did swim 3,500m, so I'm close. I guess I'll have to do the final 1,500m on guts, determination and adrenaline! There's a bit of a hiccup in the actual event (I might have to go tomorrow night instead of Saturday night as planned - their mix-up). I hope to get it sorted out tomorrow.

The condo is great. I'm still trying to find "homes" for things and storage is a real issue. I have lots of space, but no actual storage, so I'm going to build some, but these things take time. I've been living here for 4 weeks now (4 weeks today, in fact!) and it really feels like home now. When I went to my old apartment last week to pick up the last bit of junk the landlord was there working on the apartment. He said, "I guess you're going to feel nostalgic for this place." My reply was, "No, I will never feel nostalgia for this place," then mumbled under my breath, "And I can't wait to get the hell out of this hole!" Ciao! Au revoir! Auf wiedersehn!

Weight-wise - I'm up a few pounds. I gained back about 5 pounds, mostly through just not paying attention and eating whatever the hell I wanted to eat. It's not the end of the world, but it's just not where I want to be. I'm back to logging my food now, so I hope that will help.

I'm going to my 25-year high school reunion in a couple of weeks. That should be a treat! Since I went to an all-girls school, likely it will be lots of talk of husbands and children. I have nothing to contribute to that conversation, so maybe I'll just drink. But it will be nice to catch up with friends whom I've lost touch with (could care less about most of them, but there are a few that I kind of miss).

That's all the updates I have for now. Hopefully I'll be able to post more regularly.

It's been a long time!

2006-03-31T18:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I finally managed to dig my computer and modum out of the pile of boxes in by bedroom and get back on-line. It's been over a week (10 days, in fact) since I moved, so I thought it was about time.

The move took much longer than expected due to an old, lame mover guy (the other young guy did all the work). Anyway, I'm here now (the only one in the whole building, actually) and it's starting to feel like home.

I had a great race last Sunday: 30K in 3:14:50, 10 second ahead of my goal and a full three minutes faster than when I did this race back in 2004. Yea! So this has been a recovery week.

The bad thing about recovery weeks is that my appetite still thinks I'm training as hard as I was before, but I am sitting on my ass most of the time, so the pounds have started to creep back on. It's only about 4-5 pounds from my lowest weight ever, but that's 2-3 more than I am am really comfortable with. So, back to the good eating and hard workouts next week.

That's all the time I have to update. Things are still good with my "friend". More later...