Yes, I'm still alive

Ack! Whou would have thought that moving and training for Ironman would keep me so damned busy! I barely have time to check e-mail, let alone post a journal entry. Oh, well...

Training is going OK. I still have not been on my bike as often (or for as long) as I'd like. I really feel like I'm behind the eight ball. Sigh. Running is fine and so is swimming. In fact, I'm doing a 5,000m swim this weekend for the Arthritis Society! That's 200 lengths of a 25m pool! Yikes! The longest distance I've ever swam was 3,800m and that was nearly 3 years ago. On Tuesday, I did swim 3,500m, so I'm close. I guess I'll have to do the final 1,500m on guts, determination and adrenaline! There's a bit of a hiccup in the actual event (I might have to go tomorrow night instead of Saturday night as planned - their mix-up). I hope to get it sorted out tomorrow.

The condo is great. I'm still trying to find "homes" for things and storage is a real issue. I have lots of space, but no actual storage, so I'm going to build some, but these things take time. I've been living here for 4 weeks now (4 weeks today, in fact!) and it really feels like home now. When I went to my old apartment last week to pick up the last bit of junk the landlord was there working on the apartment. He said, "I guess you're going to feel nostalgic for this place." My reply was, "No, I will never feel nostalgia for this place," then mumbled under my breath, "And I can't wait to get the hell out of this hole!" Ciao! Au revoir! Auf wiedersehn!

Weight-wise - I'm up a few pounds. I gained back about 5 pounds, mostly through just not paying attention and eating whatever the hell I wanted to eat. It's not the end of the world, but it's just not where I want to be. I'm back to logging my food now, so I hope that will help.

I'm going to my 25-year high school reunion in a couple of weeks. That should be a treat! Since I went to an all-girls school, likely it will be lots of talk of husbands and children. I have nothing to contribute to that conversation, so maybe I'll just drink. But it will be nice to catch up with friends whom I've lost touch with (could care less about most of them, but there are a few that I kind of miss).

That's all the updates I have for now. Hopefully I'll be able to post more regularly.

It's been a long time!

Well, I finally managed to dig my computer and modum out of the pile of boxes in by bedroom and get back on-line. It's been over a week (10 days, in fact) since I moved, so I thought it was about time.

The move took much longer than expected due to an old, lame mover guy (the other young guy did all the work). Anyway, I'm here now (the only one in the whole building, actually) and it's starting to feel like home.

I had a great race last Sunday: 30K in 3:14:50, 10 second ahead of my goal and a full three minutes faster than when I did this race back in 2004. Yea! So this has been a recovery week.

The bad thing about recovery weeks is that my appetite still thinks I'm training as hard as I was before, but I am sitting on my ass most of the time, so the pounds have started to creep back on. It's only about 4-5 pounds from my lowest weight ever, but that's 2-3 more than I am am really comfortable with. So, back to the good eating and hard workouts next week.

That's all the time I have to update. Things are still good with my "friend". More later...

I've got keys!!

OK, it's official now - I have my keys! I am a homeowner! Yea!!

They still have to do some work on my place, but it will be all ready for me to move in next Wednesday.

Time to run now...

Finally moving!!!

Yea!! The day is finally near!!

I got a call from my lawyer last Monday saying that I would be taking possession on Wednesday, March 15th (um, thanks for the nine days notice!). I did my home inspection yesterday and I get my keys tomorrow! Yea!!

Here are a couple of photos:

The Living Room Window


The Kitchen (minus the range hood microwave yet to be installed)

The other side of the kitchen

Upstairs bedroom/loft

Food/exercise have been going well. I'm "tapering" for my race on the 26th. I'm going to Montreal to party this weekend (yea!). I'm up a pound or two from my lowest weight ever (yesterday 164.8, today 165.4).

Dating's been going well! We have a great time together and we're keeping it light for now, which is good. Not getting much sleep, though. I just feel really comfortable with him and things are very easy between us. I'm enjoying getting to know him in ways I never have before, even though we've technically known each other for seven years! Crazy!

Getting to the source

Well, I think I've isolated the source of my back pain - my bike saddle! I've had this nagging pain around the tailbone for the last couple of weeks that culminated in the run from hell two weeks ago.

I went to physio and J said that it was likely that I had strained the ligaments in that area. We were trying to figure out how that might have happened and I suspected that it might be my bike since that was the only new thing in the equation physically.

Well, last night I did a 60-min bike workout and I discovered where it is that is putting tension on those ligaments - when I sit up straight. Normally, I'm leaning over in the aero position, but when I'm doing one-legged drills (especially) I am sitting very upright and it puts a strain on my sacrum. So, I'm going to try adjusting the seat slightly to see if that helps. Unfortunately making it more comfortable for sitting up makes it less comfortable when in aero, so it's a bit of a tradeoff. And I hope to spend more time in aero while cycling that sitting upright, so I'll have to see.

If all else fails, I'll just have to look into getting a new saddle. But man, are they expensive! Usually over $100! More, if it's a really good one.

OK, so I'm on my way out the door to go to my run clinic, so that's it for now.

Long time no see!

Oops! Goodness, it's been a while since I've written! What's been going on with me, you ask?

Well, first - the Olympics. I was totally engrossed in the Olympics for three weeks and every spare moment of time was spent watching as many events as possible on TV. And when I wasn't watching Olympics, I was talking on the phone with friends about the Olympics. Phew! Now that they're over, I've got some sense of normalcy in my life.

Workout-wise, it's been pretty good. I've done 95% of my workouts and 100% of my runs. I had a rough run last Sunday (24.5K in 3:07) with horrible lower back pain, so I was a bit worried about my planned 27K run yesterday. Since I had to run alone this week, I made a last-minute decision to run for time (3hrs) rather than distance. I also played it safe by doing two 45-min out-and-back routes so that I wouldn't ever be too far from home. It was a good thing, because at the end of the first loop (90 minutes), I had to pee SO BADLY, I was glad that I could run into my apartment before heading out for my second lap. The second lap was different that the first, but again I just ran out for 45 minutes and then back home. I was very happy with my run, even though I didn't cover the 27K I had hoped (it was only 25.5K). I took today off as I had to work at a booth at the Bike Show to promote the Tri Club my friends and I are organizing.

Food-wise, things are going OK. I've stopped logging my food on Nutridiary, so I guess my weight is the best gauge. I think I forgot to report that I had a new lowest weight ever of 164.6 on February 27, which was a big milestone for me. My weight always seems to fluctuate up and down by a few pounds every day and I often see a few days of gain after a new low weight, so I'm kind of using my upper range as the gauge of my progess. Lately, I've been topping out at 167, whereas a few months ago, my high end was around 170, so it's all good.

Dating-wise, I think I mentioned that I had been communicating with two different guys. Well, one has fallen by the wayside as it seems that he is dating someone else. Bygones. But the other one has really developed into something good. We're great friends and everything between us is based on mutual respect, friendship and - most importantly - honesty. I have never been involved in a relationship with anyone that was so honest. It's very refreshing. I've had a bit of a personal renaissance (thanks, J, for that word) and I really like where I am now. This guy certainly isn't the love of my life and he's been clear that he's not looking for anything long-term right now, but we're enjoying ourselves. So, for now, it's all good.

I don't have any major plans for the week, just the usual workout stuff.

Is it Friday yet?

Not quite yet...

It's been a really boring week at work and I've been doing all I can do to keep busy. I've got a little more to do over the next couple of days, but things are definitely slow.

The downside to that is that it gives me far too much time to think. And it's never good when I spend too much time thinking. I have this way of talking myself in or out of things too easily. When I'm spending too much time in my head, bad things can happen.

I'm still communicating with a couple of guys, both of them very different, both of whom I care very deeply for, both for very different reasons. These are actually guys I know in real life - not on-line dates or anything. And it's not even like I'm really trying to decide between them because one of them isn't really in a place where he's ready to be in a relationship as he's in the process of ending one and definitely needs time to figure things out. The other guy is ready, willing and able, but I'm just approaching that one with caution because I don't know if I can really see myself with him as a romantic partner. We're compatible on some levels, but on others we are just not on the same page. Argh.

And as a result of my communication with the two of them, I haven't been following up with the guys who've e-mailed me from POF. They seem nice enough, but I don't know if I have the energy to devote to communicating with any more guys right now. It's confusing enough trying to deal with my conflicting feelings for two guys, let alone adding any more into the mix.

The thing I've realized is that, as flattering as it is to have two guys paying all this attention to me, I really am a "one man gal". Having more than one person in my life is just far too confusing for me.

***

Workout-wise, it's been a pretty good week. I made it to the gym on Monday morning. On Tuesday, I did 10x100m strides as a speed workout. Last night, I ran with my club and we did a 7.8K route and I managed a pace of below 6 min/km, and that's even with two stop lights where I didn't stop my watch. Today was my rest day and tomorrow I'll head back to the gym. The plan for Saturday is to go to Mega Training Day again (3-hour bike ride, 75-min yoga, 90-min swim). On Sunday, I have to do a 25K run, so I can't go too hard on Saturday.

Food-wise, it's been OK. I haven't eaten too much junk, but I was probably a bit high on calories a few days. I was up a couple of pounds this week, so I have to keep that in check. And I might have to go back to journaling my food if my weight doesn't go back to where it was.

It's interesting, because at the beginning of this weight loss phase I used to get obsessive about weighing myself every day and journaling every morsel of food I put in my mouth. And the result was weight-loss, but I didn't always like the way I felt about myself because of that borderline obsessive behaviour. Now, I'm hardly journaling at all, yet still weighing myself daily, and I'm not feeling as obsessive. I actually feel quite happy about where I am, regardless of what the scales say. The harsh reality is that I haven't been losing weight as consistently as I had been in the past. I've kind of hit a plateau. I think I might just have to maintain, though, for the next four weeks until my race is over. Since my mileage is starting to get up there, dieting is starting to get a bit hard. So, I'll stay where I am for now and hope not to re-gain any weight.

So, THAT's what it looks like!!

I just got home from seeing an exhibit at the Science Centre called Bodyworlds 2. It's an exhibit of human bodies, body parts and organs that have been preserved through plasticization.

It was a fascinating exhibit and interesting to see all the muscles, tendons and nerves that I am oh so aware of during a long run or bike ride. Damned piriformis!! There you are, you devil, you! How the heck am I supposed to stretch out something that's so far inside my freaking butt?? Oh, sciatic nerve... you're a nasty little bugger! Don't laugh, hamstrings & iliotibial band! I saw you both, too!

I tried not to look at their faces as that kind of freaked me out a bit - made me realize that these are real human bodies - people! - who had been preserved. I'm not being very eloquent in my description of this exhibit because the word fascinating is the only one I can come up with.

As an athlete, I found it quite helpful to be able to "see" the parts of my body that give me trouble. Being able to visualize my problem areas makes it a bit easier to deal with them.

***

I talked with my friend LT on the phone for almost 90 minutes today. This is the friend from my run club that I've gotten to know a bit better recently. I'm still not sure if I have any kind of romantic feelings toward him, but we had a good conversation. Most of it was superficial talk about Olympics and such, but the reason he actually called me was because of something I had said to him in an e-mail on Friday that worried him.

I shared with him a parable about a frog. Apparently, if you boil water and throw a frog in it will leap out on instinct of self-preservation. But if you put a frog in cold water and then turn up the heat, the frog won't ever jump out and eventually boil to death. I told him that I am like the frog. He got a little freaked out about this story because he's quite sensitive, especially where animals are concerned. All he could think about was this poor frog, boiled to death.

I reassured him that it was a parable and that it was meant to be read symbolically, not literally. Anyway, what I was trying to tell him is that if he (or anyone) pushes me too far or turns up the heat too quickly, I will jump out of the pot and hide under a rock.

AND, I'm still not even sure if he is someone I even want to get into hot water with!

Saturday

It was bitterly cold this morning. -11C with a wind chill of -25. Brrr! Of course, I had a group run planned for this morning. Of course! Grrr (brrr).

I set my alarm for 5AM because I wanted to watch the men's Super G on TV. I draged my ass outa bed, turned on the TV and lay on the couch. After 17 skiers, the Canadian guys were sitting 2nd and 3rd. Rock on! There were still some big names to come, but still. Anyway, they ended up postponing the race because of weather and decided to re-start it a few hours later. So, my 5AM wake-up was totally wasted as I had to leave at 8AM and the race hadn't started yet. Grrr.

We left the city at 8AM to drive out to Burlington to run. The wind was howling, so I was not optimistic about the warmth of the clothes I had selected. It was quite cold at the beginning. I had to pull my fingers out of my gloves and hold them in a fist inside the palm of the glove to keep them warm. But as soon as we got onto the winding road in a residential neighbourhood, the wind disappeared and it was lovely. The sun was shining and I was dressed perfectly.

We ran just over 23K and it took us 2:35. The last 7K were hard because it started to get windy again and I also was feeling some weird back pain. It was like a side stitch, but it was in my back. It eventually went away, but it was quite painful at the time. By then, my left leg was also bugging me as my hamstrings had started to seize up in the cold. I'm feeling OK now, but it's still a bit tender.

I spent the rest of the day vegging on the couch watching Olympics. I'm not into napping - my down time usually consists of lying on the couch, channel surfing. In fact, I'm watching Bobsleigh right now.

I don't think we won any medals today. We won a Gold and a Silver in men's Skeleton yesterday - what a freaking CRAZY sport!! Head first on a sled at 100 kph! CRAZY! I think I'd prefer to try Luge.

Speaking of crazy sports, how about Snowboardcross!! Like roller derby on snow boards! I think we won a bronze in that after both Canadian women wiped out in the final (one of them managed to get back on her board). The American girl totally lost it, though - she had a huge lead going into the final 20m of the race and on the final jump was showing off by taking big air, crashed and lost the Gold! How embarassing! I'll bet she's pissed!

The Next Big Thing is the Canada/Sweden Women's Hockey Gold Medal Game on Monday at 2:30PM. 2:30PM??? Don't they know some of us have to work?? Sheesh!! I think I'll have to (cough) go home (sneeze) early on Monday. Either that or convince my boss and some other co-workers to head to a pub to watch it.

***

I don't think I've journaled any food in the last two weeks. My weight is OK - it's up about 2 pounds from my Lowest Weight Ever that was recorded on February 10, but that's not a huge amount. I think I'm PMS right now, so it could be that. But if I don't see the number going back down I'll have to get back on the Nutridiary bandwagon.

Non-Valentine's Day

I got V-day wishes from two guys today. Both married. I got a cryptic V-day message from a single guy I know, but I wasn't sure what he meant by it. Something about how people celebrate V-day in Korea. Neither of us is Korean. And although nice, he's not someone that I am even mildly interested in.

My on-line running friend and I had a great e-chat today. I think we've come to agreement on what is (or rather, is not) going on between the two of us. The good thing is that I still have a great friend and we still have this mutual admiration thing going on. As I said to him today, people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I'm not sure which category we fit into, but I'm not going to question it right now. As long as we can continue our harmless flirting (which, at this time, is boosting both of our self-confidence), then I'm OK with that.

It's still a little sad, though, because he said some really nice and positive things about me. Why is it that the ones who aren't in a position to get involved with you are your biggest fans? I've got enough married "suitors", thank-you-very-much!

The next part of my V-day was spent with my friend LT who helped me pick out tile for my new condo. I got a call late Sunday from the RE Agent saying that if I wanted them to install tiles for me, I'd have to deliver them this week. LT and I had been having a conversation about how strong, independant women like me need to ask guys for help every once in a while. So, when he offered to come with me, I took him up on the offer. My car is now filled with 120 square feet of porcelain tile for my kitchen and powder room. It must weight 400 pounds (not a word of a lie), so my car is riding a little low and doesn't have much pick-up. I'll drop it off tomorrow morning. The powder room tiles are beige(ish) and the kitchen tiles are a slate grayish/green. I think they'll be nice.

LT is another guy from my run club whom I've gotten to know a lot better in the last couple of months. We've actually known each other for almost seven years, but he's kind of faded in and out of the group a bit over that time. He flirts with me shamelessly, too - except that he is actually single. We're about the same age (he's nine months older) and have had some really great conversations lately, but I'm not really physically attracted to him and he's also a bit too high strung for me (cannot sit still for 30 seconds). I really don't see anything developing there.

Tonight, I went to my running clinic and we did a speed workout. Well, they did a speed workout; I just did a slightly up-tempo run. I have my killer hill workout tomorrow night, so I wanted to save something for that.

So, that is how I spent my V-day. Nothing romantic at all, but not a bad day. Actually, the worst part of my day was getting an e-mail from my mum saying that she didn't put any cinnamon hearts in the mail to me this year. She said the cost of the postage was more than the cost of the candy! So sad.