Ever since my crash five weeks ago I haven't been on my commuter bike (the Iron Horse). Some of it was due to cold wet weather. Some of it was due to my work schedule. But some of it also had to do with the fact that I was a bit gun shy about riding in the city.
I had to take my car into the shop and instead of trying to do it first thing tomorrow morning, I opted to drop it off late this afternoon. The mechanic is just up the road from me (about 3.5K), so I decided to put the Iron Horse on my bike rack, drive up there, leave my car and then ride my bike back home. I tried to get there before sundown (damn that Standard time change!), but it was starting to get dark on my ride home (which was entirely downhill - whoo!). I had my lights and reflective gear on, but I kept looking over my shoulder to watch for cars trying to pass me too closely. I made it home safe and sound and the plan is to ride to the gym and work tomorrow.
I had a lovely run this morning. The weather was GORGEOUS! Sunny, crisp and clear. I met up with some friends (some of whom I "met" on-line before I actually met them in person) and we ran a 12.5K-loop to preview the half-marathon race course we'll be doing next week. It looks to be a bit hilly, so I'm not expecting any kind of personal best time. I'll be happy with anything under 2:15. I kind of vegged on the couch for most of the afternoon until I went out for a walk to pick up some veggies for dinner.
Nutr1diary was down for two days this weekend (Fri/Sat). I didn't bother going back and trying to re-log the food I ate those two days, so I'll have to hope that I stayed within my daily calories. I just finished logging today's calories and it looks like I'm still about 400 calories under plan. I'm not really hungry, though, so I don't see the point in eating more just to get the extra calories in.
I am under-hydrated today, though. I need to get some more water into me as I went for that run (1:20) and only took in 500mL of fluid. I had a large coffee afterwards and a Limonata (Italian lemon soda) later in the afternoon, but that's about it. I actually feel thirsty, which means that I'm already dehydrated.
Tomorrow would normally be a weigh-in day, but I am abstaining this week under advice of, oh, EVERYONE! I'm anxious to weigh in, but I'll wait until next Sunday as I have committed. Everyone I see has commented on how much thinner they think I look. I can't really see it myself (except when I wear my HOT NEW DRESS!).
The one good thing about the time change is that it will be easier to get up to go to the gym tomorrow morning. I think I'm also going to Yoga tomorrow night (I made plans with H last week). I haven't been in months, so that should be interesting!
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Ahh, Saturday!
I love Saturday.
I got up around 7:30 and was on my bike by 8:00 (in my living room, watching CSI that I taped the other night). I rode for an hour (just over 25K).
After my ride I walked down to meet my friends for breakfast. It's a gorgeous day outside today! Sunny and crisp! I love it! After breakfast I bought some make-up for tonight and a small beaded handbag for my party on Tuesday.
I have intentions of cleaning my apartment today. Intentions are good. We'll see how much I actually get done. I'm burning my new favourite candle, so my whole apartment smells lovely. And I'm sipping on my Comfort Tea. Yummmmm!
OK, OK, FINE! I'll go do some housework (blech!).
I got up around 7:30 and was on my bike by 8:00 (in my living room, watching CSI that I taped the other night). I rode for an hour (just over 25K).
After my ride I walked down to meet my friends for breakfast. It's a gorgeous day outside today! Sunny and crisp! I love it! After breakfast I bought some make-up for tonight and a small beaded handbag for my party on Tuesday.
I have intentions of cleaning my apartment today. Intentions are good. We'll see how much I actually get done. I'm burning my new favourite candle, so my whole apartment smells lovely. And I'm sipping on my Comfort Tea. Yummmmm!
OK, OK, FINE! I'll go do some housework (blech!).
Friday, October 28, 2005
Update:
OK, I tried the dress on again but this time with the pantyhose and shoes I'll be wearing and I just have to say: I LOOK TOTALLY HOT!! I love love love love my new dress! And love love love how I look in it. And that was without my hair done and no makeup on. Yea! Who cares what freakin' size it is!
And, I also managed to make my Halloween costume and it turned out really well. My sewing maching held out for the one seam I had to sew and the rest didn't need any sewing. It's going to be really cool!
And, I also managed to make my Halloween costume and it turned out really well. My sewing maching held out for the one seam I had to sew and the rest didn't need any sewing. It's going to be really cool!
Got a Dress!
Score another half-point for me! I'll tell you why: I found a dress for the party I'm going to on Tuesday. In fact, it was the same dress I tried on Friday evening that didn't fit. I found it in another location of the same store in a size 14. I'm happy that I found a dress, but sad that I had to get the 14 (which is why I'm only "scoring" a half-point for that).
It kind of has a Jackie-O look to it. It's about knee-length, sleveless, fairly high in front and cut into a V in the back. It's very fitted in the body and kind of flares out below the waist with a bit of fullness to it without being fussy. It's black and has a bit of a texture (kind of like tone-on-tone brocade). It's very "me" and I think I'm going to look very good in it. I have a pair of black patent leather sling backs that I'll wear with it.
The process to actually aquire this dress was quite painful. I had to go to two malls (I hate malls) and countless stores before I found it. I actually ended up in $ears, of all places, where I tried on five or six dresses. I did find one that was suitable, but again, the 12 was just that little bit too tight. And do you think I could find a 14 in ANYTHING?? Lots of 12s and 16s, but no 14s in sight! Grrr. And that seemed to be a theme in every store I went into.
I have also decided that bias-cut dresses are evil. Honestly, does ANYONE without a perfect body look good in a bias-cut dress or skirt? I don't think so! Every one I tried on accentuated every little lump and bump in my lower body (and there are many). I'm hoping that the proper undergarments will solve this problem with the dress I currently have (because NO dress can hide all a girl's flaws).
I left home at 8:30 this morning and didn't get back until after 3PM. Sigh. Shopping is tough work! And they're doing construction at the mall I was at so the place smelled like tar (blech!). It was actually giving me a headache. As I was leaving I spotted Av3da (my fave store). The scent drew me in. I wasn't in the store 60 seconds when the salesperson offered me some tea. Ahhhh! I love their tea! I just basked in the aroma while I sipped on my Comfort Tea. I bought myself a candle ($40!! Yikes!) and a box of the tea (they have it in bags now, not just loose), which was my little splurge on myself and reward for a hard day of shopping.
When I got home I decided to go out for a run. I didn't really have a planned route, but I just wanted to go out and get some fresh air. I planned to run for 30 minutes and I think it ended up being 29 minutes, so that was good.
I have to work on my halloween costume tonight. I bought a wig and some material this morning and I'm going as the Mona Lisa. I have a blank picture frame that I'm going to take with me to complete the outfit. I don't think my sewing machine is working, so I might have to sew the whole thing by hand. Yikes! I'll let you know how it turns out.
It kind of has a Jackie-O look to it. It's about knee-length, sleveless, fairly high in front and cut into a V in the back. It's very fitted in the body and kind of flares out below the waist with a bit of fullness to it without being fussy. It's black and has a bit of a texture (kind of like tone-on-tone brocade). It's very "me" and I think I'm going to look very good in it. I have a pair of black patent leather sling backs that I'll wear with it.
The process to actually aquire this dress was quite painful. I had to go to two malls (I hate malls) and countless stores before I found it. I actually ended up in $ears, of all places, where I tried on five or six dresses. I did find one that was suitable, but again, the 12 was just that little bit too tight. And do you think I could find a 14 in ANYTHING?? Lots of 12s and 16s, but no 14s in sight! Grrr. And that seemed to be a theme in every store I went into.
I have also decided that bias-cut dresses are evil. Honestly, does ANYONE without a perfect body look good in a bias-cut dress or skirt? I don't think so! Every one I tried on accentuated every little lump and bump in my lower body (and there are many). I'm hoping that the proper undergarments will solve this problem with the dress I currently have (because NO dress can hide all a girl's flaws).
I left home at 8:30 this morning and didn't get back until after 3PM. Sigh. Shopping is tough work! And they're doing construction at the mall I was at so the place smelled like tar (blech!). It was actually giving me a headache. As I was leaving I spotted Av3da (my fave store). The scent drew me in. I wasn't in the store 60 seconds when the salesperson offered me some tea. Ahhhh! I love their tea! I just basked in the aroma while I sipped on my Comfort Tea. I bought myself a candle ($40!! Yikes!) and a box of the tea (they have it in bags now, not just loose), which was my little splurge on myself and reward for a hard day of shopping.
When I got home I decided to go out for a run. I didn't really have a planned route, but I just wanted to go out and get some fresh air. I planned to run for 30 minutes and I think it ended up being 29 minutes, so that was good.
I have to work on my halloween costume tonight. I bought a wig and some material this morning and I'm going as the Mona Lisa. I have a blank picture frame that I'm going to take with me to complete the outfit. I don't think my sewing machine is working, so I might have to sew the whole thing by hand. Yikes! I'll let you know how it turns out.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
I did it!
Or rather, DIDN'T do it: step on the scales this morning.
My normal routine when I get up is to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, shower, dry off and then weigh myself. Today, as I was in the bathroom, I deliberately told myself not to weigh in. But when it came time to get dressed, weighing in had completely slipped my mind, even though the scale was right there in plain sight.
I think I'll be able to resist the temptation for the next week or so.
The thing is, until I got this new scale I wasn't really tempted to weigh myself daily. It's just because it's new and so fancy with its body fat measurement and everything. And how it stores the data from your last weigh-in is really cool, too!
Anyway, I'm confident that I've made peace with it, if only temporarily. Next weigh-in date will be Sunday, November 5. Normally, I would weigh myself on a Monday, but since I am racing that day, I want to weigh myself before my race because your body weight can be all out of whack the day after a race due to over- or under-hydration.
I'm taking tomorrow off work (yea!). I just needed a little break and I have a lot of stuff to do over the next few days, so that's what I'm going to do. The sad thing is that I'll probably have to make a "to do" list for my day off since I have so many things "to do". Sigh.
I have two parties to go to on Saturday and one of them is a costume party, so I have to go in search of a costume tomorrow. Next Tuesday I have a cocktail party to go to and need a dress to wear, so I have to go in search of that this weekend, too. I did try on a few dresses after work today, but couldn't find the right one. One dress was quite nice, but it was just a tad tight and I didn't want to worry about having to suck in my gut all night. But it was a size 12, which was very cool!! I'm very close to being able to wear a 12 for real. I suspect that a 14 (which they didn't have in stock) would have been a little too big (so there!). Score half a point for me!
My normal routine when I get up is to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth, shower, dry off and then weigh myself. Today, as I was in the bathroom, I deliberately told myself not to weigh in. But when it came time to get dressed, weighing in had completely slipped my mind, even though the scale was right there in plain sight.
I think I'll be able to resist the temptation for the next week or so.
The thing is, until I got this new scale I wasn't really tempted to weigh myself daily. It's just because it's new and so fancy with its body fat measurement and everything. And how it stores the data from your last weigh-in is really cool, too!
Anyway, I'm confident that I've made peace with it, if only temporarily. Next weigh-in date will be Sunday, November 5. Normally, I would weigh myself on a Monday, but since I am racing that day, I want to weigh myself before my race because your body weight can be all out of whack the day after a race due to over- or under-hydration.
I'm taking tomorrow off work (yea!). I just needed a little break and I have a lot of stuff to do over the next few days, so that's what I'm going to do. The sad thing is that I'll probably have to make a "to do" list for my day off since I have so many things "to do". Sigh.
I have two parties to go to on Saturday and one of them is a costume party, so I have to go in search of a costume tomorrow. Next Tuesday I have a cocktail party to go to and need a dress to wear, so I have to go in search of that this weekend, too. I did try on a few dresses after work today, but couldn't find the right one. One dress was quite nice, but it was just a tad tight and I didn't want to worry about having to suck in my gut all night. But it was a size 12, which was very cool!! I'm very close to being able to wear a 12 for real. I suspect that a 14 (which they didn't have in stock) would have been a little too big (so there!). Score half a point for me!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Message to GUS
[For the record, GUS stands for Great Universal Spirit, which to this non-religious person is the closest thing to “god” I believe in.]
Dear GUS,
We haven’t spoken officially in a while, meaning that I have not come to you expressing my intentions. I know how much you reward those who do express their intentions in an honest and forthright fashion, so here goes. I also know that you know better than I do in these things, so I have to defer to your judgment and accept that whatever you provide to me is exactly what I need, and at the exact time that I need it.
Intention #1:
I’ve chosen to lead a healthy life. I engage in deliberate exercise and monitor what I eat and drink. My intention is to have a healthy body and a healthy body weight. My goal is to use food as fuel and not as medication to suppress my feelings or deal with stress. I’m asking that you continue to help me achieve my goals in this area.
Dear GUS,
We haven’t spoken officially in a while, meaning that I have not come to you expressing my intentions. I know how much you reward those who do express their intentions in an honest and forthright fashion, so here goes. I also know that you know better than I do in these things, so I have to defer to your judgment and accept that whatever you provide to me is exactly what I need, and at the exact time that I need it.
Intention #1:
I’ve chosen to lead a healthy life. I engage in deliberate exercise and monitor what I eat and drink. My intention is to have a healthy body and a healthy body weight. My goal is to use food as fuel and not as medication to suppress my feelings or deal with stress. I’m asking that you continue to help me achieve my goals in this area.
Intention #2:
I’ve chosen to be independent and self-sufficient. I am financially responsible and live within my means. It wasn’t always this way, but I’ve made great strides in this area over the last few years. I also take pride in the fact that I am resourceful and can fend for myself most of the time. I do struggle with the times when I have to ask for help as I’m not very good at that. It’s difficult for me to show my vulnerability for fear that I will be judged negatively or, worse: be taken advantage of. Because of that, I have closed myself off from people, especially men. I no longer want to live my life in this closed-off manner and I ask that you provide me with the opportunities to practice “letting go” in a safe way so that I can build my confidence and ultimately allow myself to open up. As much as I am happy being self-sufficient, no man is an island and I think I’m ready to start sharing my life with someone now.
Oh, and not like I’m trying to tell you how to do your job or anything, but some results on the scales and a date with a man would be really nice right about now!
Aside: OK, OK, I PROMISE that I will not weigh myself again until after my race next weekend. I did weigh myself this morning (again) and was relieved to see that yesterday's two-pound weight gain was just a fluke (I'm back down to 170.2). But I'll go on a "scale diet" for the next 10 days. Gulp.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Monday, October 24, 2005
Jammies
I slept like a rock last night. I was falling asleep on the couch watching TV, so I just called it a night and went to bed at 10:30. I was also a bit cold, so I wore my flannel jammies to bed. When I woke up this morning I was almost disoriented and kind of staggered to the bathroom. The first thing I thought when I got up was, "I can't WAIT to go back to bed this evening."
So, when I got home from work this evening (around 5:15), the first thing I did was put on my jammies before making dinner. Dinner is on the stove right now (brown rice & beans, chicken and veggies) and I'm nice and toasty in my jammies. It doesn't get much better than that!
I had to laugh as I was leaving work today. There is a homeless man who squats on the corner of King & Bay where I work. This is the heart of the financial district with all the major banks' head offices parked on that corner. He usually squats on the corner where the TD bank is (which is where I catch the streetcar to go home). He also has a dog: a beautiful German Sheppard who just sits there with him, sometimes barking at the odd passer-by (although usually egged on by his owner). Anyway, today I was walking to the streetcar stop when I looked over to where the man and his dog normally are. Today, all the man's stuff was there, but the dog was sitting there by itself. What made me laugh out loud, though, was that the dog was sitting there with a sheepskin hat on its head. You know, the kind with the flap in front that flips up and the flaps on the side that flip down to cover your ears. The dog was just sitting there, wearing this hat and I just burst out laughing. It made my day. I wish I had had a camera!
The scale news was not as happy today. I am up a pound from the one I lost earlier in the week. I just don't get it. The only thing I can figure is that nutridiary is overestimating my daily calorie requirements so that I am inadvertently eating too much. I forgot to weigh in on Sunday, so I'm not sure if the one-pound gain was overnight or over two days. Oh, and the first time I got on it showed 171.something, which I REFUSED to accept, so I got back on and it settled into 170.6, which is more like it (although still not a number I want to be seeing).
Grrrr.
So, when I got home from work this evening (around 5:15), the first thing I did was put on my jammies before making dinner. Dinner is on the stove right now (brown rice & beans, chicken and veggies) and I'm nice and toasty in my jammies. It doesn't get much better than that!
I had to laugh as I was leaving work today. There is a homeless man who squats on the corner of King & Bay where I work. This is the heart of the financial district with all the major banks' head offices parked on that corner. He usually squats on the corner where the TD bank is (which is where I catch the streetcar to go home). He also has a dog: a beautiful German Sheppard who just sits there with him, sometimes barking at the odd passer-by (although usually egged on by his owner). Anyway, today I was walking to the streetcar stop when I looked over to where the man and his dog normally are. Today, all the man's stuff was there, but the dog was sitting there by itself. What made me laugh out loud, though, was that the dog was sitting there with a sheepskin hat on its head. You know, the kind with the flap in front that flips up and the flaps on the side that flip down to cover your ears. The dog was just sitting there, wearing this hat and I just burst out laughing. It made my day. I wish I had had a camera!
The scale news was not as happy today. I am up a pound from the one I lost earlier in the week. I just don't get it. The only thing I can figure is that nutridiary is overestimating my daily calorie requirements so that I am inadvertently eating too much. I forgot to weigh in on Sunday, so I'm not sure if the one-pound gain was overnight or over two days. Oh, and the first time I got on it showed 171.something, which I REFUSED to accept, so I got back on and it settled into 170.6, which is more like it (although still not a number I want to be seeing).
Grrrr.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Done and Dusted!
Not quite sure what that expression actually means, but I'm using it to say that I have finished my final long training run before the half marathon in two weeks. CL and I ran 22k (13.75 miles) this morning in the cold drizzle. It was a nice run, entirely flat and we finished in just over 2.5 hours. We had a nice chat along the way, too.
She and her husband just had to put their 18-year-old cat down, so she was pretty down about that. But running solves all problems as it gives you 2+ hours to talk everything out.
I went roller skating with a bunch of friends last night and it was fun, but my glutes (medius and maximus) were really feeling it! I felt very old as there were lots of teenagers there and I only recognized two songs they played! All that damn hip-hop stuff kids are listening to today... ;-) And, I just have to say that although I am old enough to have a teenage or pre-teen child, I am sooooooo freaking glad that I don't! Who in the hell lets their 13-year-old daughters dress up like French Maids (complete with garters, fishnet stockings and black eyeliner) to go out roller skating?? I swear, I would lock my children up until they were 18. OK, not really... but you know what I mean. Scary!
In the pub after skating I was chatting with my friend SC who is also a triathlete and trying to lose some weight in the off season. She doesn't really have that much to lose, but everyone feels excess weight, especially on those long climbs on the bike. Anyway, she was telling me about how her physio/nutritionist told her that the reason why long-distance athletes have trouble losing weight is because of elevated cortizol levels. Basically what happens is that your body thinks it's in distress, so it holds onto fat (I guess the way if you starve yourself or restrict calories it can do the same thing). Anyone heard of this? It bears investigating, that's for sure.
I was saying to her that all I want to know is the "recipe" for weight-loss that will work for me! It's not for lack of motivation or trying that I haven't been as successful as I want to be. Honestly, if someone could tell me exactly what I had to eat, how much I had to exercise and how to combine the two to achieve the results I want, I would DO IT! Just tell me and I WILL do it. I will make no excuses and say, "Oh, I can't do THAT."
I'm now vegging on the couch as I'm feeling very tired after my long run. I'm going to KH's for dinner tonight to celebrate KL's BD. I also still have another 1758 calories left to consume today (can you believe that??). My run "earned" me an additional 1595 calories. Oh, what to eat, what to eat...?
She and her husband just had to put their 18-year-old cat down, so she was pretty down about that. But running solves all problems as it gives you 2+ hours to talk everything out.
I went roller skating with a bunch of friends last night and it was fun, but my glutes (medius and maximus) were really feeling it! I felt very old as there were lots of teenagers there and I only recognized two songs they played! All that damn hip-hop stuff kids are listening to today... ;-) And, I just have to say that although I am old enough to have a teenage or pre-teen child, I am sooooooo freaking glad that I don't! Who in the hell lets their 13-year-old daughters dress up like French Maids (complete with garters, fishnet stockings and black eyeliner) to go out roller skating?? I swear, I would lock my children up until they were 18. OK, not really... but you know what I mean. Scary!
In the pub after skating I was chatting with my friend SC who is also a triathlete and trying to lose some weight in the off season. She doesn't really have that much to lose, but everyone feels excess weight, especially on those long climbs on the bike. Anyway, she was telling me about how her physio/nutritionist told her that the reason why long-distance athletes have trouble losing weight is because of elevated cortizol levels. Basically what happens is that your body thinks it's in distress, so it holds onto fat (I guess the way if you starve yourself or restrict calories it can do the same thing). Anyone heard of this? It bears investigating, that's for sure.
I was saying to her that all I want to know is the "recipe" for weight-loss that will work for me! It's not for lack of motivation or trying that I haven't been as successful as I want to be. Honestly, if someone could tell me exactly what I had to eat, how much I had to exercise and how to combine the two to achieve the results I want, I would DO IT! Just tell me and I WILL do it. I will make no excuses and say, "Oh, I can't do THAT."
I'm now vegging on the couch as I'm feeling very tired after my long run. I'm going to KH's for dinner tonight to celebrate KL's BD. I also still have another 1758 calories left to consume today (can you believe that??). My run "earned" me an additional 1595 calories. Oh, what to eat, what to eat...?
Saturday, October 22, 2005
I guess I must have needed it!
I went to bed just after 11 last night. I put my ear plugs in because I have noisy neighbours, especially on the weekends (they're all in their early 20s). I woke this morning at 8:40AM! I guess I really needed the sleep!
But that also foiled my half-hearted plans to meet up with my friends for a bike ride. I kind of talked myself out of it last night because the main north/south expressway in town is going to be closed this weekend, so traffic getting to where we meet to ride (and home again) is going to be a nightmare. Add to that the fact that the weather was crappy this morning and I had all the excuses I needed.
But I did manage to ride for 60 minutes on my trainer this morning. I'm going to have to get that time up in the coming months, but right now I don't think I have to do much more than that. There will be plenty of time for 3-hour rides on my trainer in January!
Time for some housecleaning (blech!).
But that also foiled my half-hearted plans to meet up with my friends for a bike ride. I kind of talked myself out of it last night because the main north/south expressway in town is going to be closed this weekend, so traffic getting to where we meet to ride (and home again) is going to be a nightmare. Add to that the fact that the weather was crappy this morning and I had all the excuses I needed.
But I did manage to ride for 60 minutes on my trainer this morning. I'm going to have to get that time up in the coming months, but right now I don't think I have to do much more than that. There will be plenty of time for 3-hour rides on my trainer in January!
Time for some housecleaning (blech!).
Friday, October 21, 2005
How’d that happen?
OK, so I was feeling a little crappy yesterday: a little lightheaded, a bit flushed. The side of the building I work in is quite warm, so it was a bit of a change from being in the training room all day where it’s much cooler. Even though I had thought about running, I opted not to just in case I was getting sick. And I knew I had two hours of swimming ahead of me.
I did laundry after work, had some dinner and then went swimming. I actually felt pretty good in the water, although I was still quite wound up when I got home and couldn’t get to sleep until after midnight.
I slept in this morning (until 7AM), as I didn’t have to teach, so it didn’t matter what time I got to the office. It was still tough to drag myself out of bed, but somehow I managed. My period started today, which generally makes me a little bloated, crampy and cranky, although only for the first day.
But then what a lovely surprise I got when I stepped on the scales: 169.6 lbs! A full POUND lost since yesterday’s weigh-in! I have to confess that since I’ve bought this new scale, I’ve weighed myself every morning, just to get a baseline (yeah, right). I had been so frustrated with my lack of progress in the last few weeks that I wanted to see what was going on with my weight on a daily basis instead of just on my normal Monday/Friday weigh-ins. Since I bought the scale and had my initial weigh-in of 170.8, I had managed to drop by 0.2 pounds here and there, but had also re-gained 0.2 pounds just this week. I think I’m fairly well-hydrated, so hopefully the one-pound loss isn’t because of that.
I’m also still weighing myself on my old scale, just for comparison purposes. That one (you know, the one that always has me weighing 1.8 pounds lighter and only displays in full pounds) showed me at 168. That’s still not a new low number (yet), but it’s the lowest number I’ve ever been at since I first had the courage to weigh myself nine years ago!
I keep reminding myself: I am not my weight. A number on a scale does not define me. And to he honest, I’m not really using it to judge myself; but I am using it to judge my progress against my weight-loss goals.
The pants I am wearing today are all baggy on me. The same goes for all the other pants I wore this week (hmmm, maybe time for some new pants?). Many people have commented to me on how I appear to have lost weight (even my creepy landlord who looked at me in stunned disbelief last week and asked me if I was OK because I looked so thin in the face). But just to clarify, a 4.2-pound loss in about six weeks is neither rapid nor drastic weight-loss. And I hardly look emaciated or unhealthy. I always lose weight in my face first, so that’s what people tend to notice. I also lose it in my hips/thighs, which, I’m sure, is great for some people, but for me it’s my gut that is in the greatest need of slimming down. Most women’s clothes are made for people with pear shapes and I am an apple, so if I buy something to fit my waist/abdomen, it always bags and sags in the hips, thighs and butt.
Speaking of new clothes, I have to buy a dress for an event I am going to in two weeks. The cool thing about this event is that it’s a reunion of people who used to work together at a company that has since been purchased (coincidentally, by the company I now work for). I haven’t worked with those people in 12 years (and 67 pounds) and I’ve only seen one or two of them since then, so they are all going to be in for quite the surprise when they see the “new thin me”!
I went out on a shopping trip at lunch that was totally demoralizing! Note to self: don’t go shopping when you feel all crampy and bloated and your hair looks like shit. I couldn’t find anything and the few things I did try on looked like crap on me. I’ll have to plan to go when I actually am feeling (and looking) a bit better and I have more time to poke around.
Speaking of feeling all crampy and bloated, I my final swim session tonight. Actually, being in the water felt pretty good; being in the water in a bathing suit with a bunch of people: not so much! But I made it through. I got really good feedback on my stroke and I already know what I have to continue practicing. I may go back to the pool once a week starting next week.
So, I'll take that one-pound loss, thank-you-very-much, and continue on with my current strategy.
Plans for tomorrow: 60-90 minutes on my bike trainer, then I'm getting together with some friends in the evening to go roller skating!
Sunday: my final long run in preparation for the half-marathon I'm running on November 6th. CL and I are going to run 22K and then I can start my taper. In the evening I'm going over to KH's house for dinner.
Happy weekend!
I did laundry after work, had some dinner and then went swimming. I actually felt pretty good in the water, although I was still quite wound up when I got home and couldn’t get to sleep until after midnight.
I slept in this morning (until 7AM), as I didn’t have to teach, so it didn’t matter what time I got to the office. It was still tough to drag myself out of bed, but somehow I managed. My period started today, which generally makes me a little bloated, crampy and cranky, although only for the first day.
But then what a lovely surprise I got when I stepped on the scales: 169.6 lbs! A full POUND lost since yesterday’s weigh-in! I have to confess that since I’ve bought this new scale, I’ve weighed myself every morning, just to get a baseline (yeah, right). I had been so frustrated with my lack of progress in the last few weeks that I wanted to see what was going on with my weight on a daily basis instead of just on my normal Monday/Friday weigh-ins. Since I bought the scale and had my initial weigh-in of 170.8, I had managed to drop by 0.2 pounds here and there, but had also re-gained 0.2 pounds just this week. I think I’m fairly well-hydrated, so hopefully the one-pound loss isn’t because of that.
I’m also still weighing myself on my old scale, just for comparison purposes. That one (you know, the one that always has me weighing 1.8 pounds lighter and only displays in full pounds) showed me at 168. That’s still not a new low number (yet), but it’s the lowest number I’ve ever been at since I first had the courage to weigh myself nine years ago!
I keep reminding myself: I am not my weight. A number on a scale does not define me. And to he honest, I’m not really using it to judge myself; but I am using it to judge my progress against my weight-loss goals.
The pants I am wearing today are all baggy on me. The same goes for all the other pants I wore this week (hmmm, maybe time for some new pants?). Many people have commented to me on how I appear to have lost weight (even my creepy landlord who looked at me in stunned disbelief last week and asked me if I was OK because I looked so thin in the face). But just to clarify, a 4.2-pound loss in about six weeks is neither rapid nor drastic weight-loss. And I hardly look emaciated or unhealthy. I always lose weight in my face first, so that’s what people tend to notice. I also lose it in my hips/thighs, which, I’m sure, is great for some people, but for me it’s my gut that is in the greatest need of slimming down. Most women’s clothes are made for people with pear shapes and I am an apple, so if I buy something to fit my waist/abdomen, it always bags and sags in the hips, thighs and butt.
Speaking of new clothes, I have to buy a dress for an event I am going to in two weeks. The cool thing about this event is that it’s a reunion of people who used to work together at a company that has since been purchased (coincidentally, by the company I now work for). I haven’t worked with those people in 12 years (and 67 pounds) and I’ve only seen one or two of them since then, so they are all going to be in for quite the surprise when they see the “new thin me”!
I went out on a shopping trip at lunch that was totally demoralizing! Note to self: don’t go shopping when you feel all crampy and bloated and your hair looks like shit. I couldn’t find anything and the few things I did try on looked like crap on me. I’ll have to plan to go when I actually am feeling (and looking) a bit better and I have more time to poke around.
Speaking of feeling all crampy and bloated, I my final swim session tonight. Actually, being in the water felt pretty good; being in the water in a bathing suit with a bunch of people: not so much! But I made it through. I got really good feedback on my stroke and I already know what I have to continue practicing. I may go back to the pool once a week starting next week.
So, I'll take that one-pound loss, thank-you-very-much, and continue on with my current strategy.
Plans for tomorrow: 60-90 minutes on my bike trainer, then I'm getting together with some friends in the evening to go roller skating!
Sunday: my final long run in preparation for the half-marathon I'm running on November 6th. CL and I are going to run 22K and then I can start my taper. In the evening I'm going over to KH's house for dinner.
Happy weekend!
Thursday, October 20, 2005
Scared much?
I was reading something on Mae’s blog about how she felt that her eating was a response to fear, although she wasn’t quite sure what she was afraid of.
As I read that, I started to think of my own fears and how they relate to my eating, weight and self-image. I realized that my fears are really multi-dimensional and multi-layered. And just as I’m figuring out one dimension/layer, another is presenting itself, though not with the clarity I need to decipher it.
Here’s what I mean: I know that the excess fat I carried all those years was a form of self-protection. It insulated me from having to become intimate with people. I did this because of the pain I felt after my father died when I was 13. I saw what my mother went through (she was in her mid-thirties at the time) and I vowed that I would never allow myself to become dependant on another person the way she had. Well, I certainly lived up to that vow; just not in the way I thought I would.
As the years went by, I continued to add layers (physical and emotional) that would protect me from getting hurt by anyone. I completely buried myself and stuffed down my feelings with food.
Fast forward to the time between 1996 and 1999 when I finally started to understand what I had been doing to myself all those years. Knowing what I was doing and why I was doing it was a big step for me, leading to a big weight-loss breakthrough. But to some degree, I still had a lingering amount of fear that I had not yet been able to put my finger on.
I remember when I was in junior high school seeing the movie Meatballs (about a summer camp) and thinking to myself, “If only I could lose a lot of weight, I could be a counselor-in-training next summer and meet all kinds of friends and have a good time.” I equated being thin with being popular and accepted and worthy of having a boyfriend. There was also another incident when I was in university where a guy I barely knew (and who wasn't even attractive to me in any way) told me that he thought I would be very attractive if I lost 40 pounds. Again: equating thinness with worthyness and attractiveness.
I think I flirted with uncovering the true source of my fear several times over the last ten years or so. As near as I can figure it, it is the same fear that everyone has: fear of rejection. But the way it manifested itself in me was that I equated being fat with being rejected and unaccepted, so at least I had an “excuse”. But where the fear came in was in thinking, “What if I do all this work and lose all kinds of weight and I am STILL unaccepted and rejected? Not only would all that work be for naught, it would expose that I have some other fatal character flaw that ultimately makes me unlovable.
So, here I am on this precipice of fear (so to speak), mentally and physically committed to losing the final 20-30 pounds that I think I need to be “normal” (and I know how off-the-mark that thinking is). Yet, I know that it's not going to make a lick of a difference in whether or not I am loved; that has to come from me. But it’s my lack of confidence in myself emotionally that I think might be holding me back.
It's weird, because I am so self-confident in so many areas of my life. But for some reason, things just haven't clicked for me in this one area.
Clearly, some more soul-searching is in order. More to come...
As I read that, I started to think of my own fears and how they relate to my eating, weight and self-image. I realized that my fears are really multi-dimensional and multi-layered. And just as I’m figuring out one dimension/layer, another is presenting itself, though not with the clarity I need to decipher it.
Here’s what I mean: I know that the excess fat I carried all those years was a form of self-protection. It insulated me from having to become intimate with people. I did this because of the pain I felt after my father died when I was 13. I saw what my mother went through (she was in her mid-thirties at the time) and I vowed that I would never allow myself to become dependant on another person the way she had. Well, I certainly lived up to that vow; just not in the way I thought I would.
As the years went by, I continued to add layers (physical and emotional) that would protect me from getting hurt by anyone. I completely buried myself and stuffed down my feelings with food.
Fast forward to the time between 1996 and 1999 when I finally started to understand what I had been doing to myself all those years. Knowing what I was doing and why I was doing it was a big step for me, leading to a big weight-loss breakthrough. But to some degree, I still had a lingering amount of fear that I had not yet been able to put my finger on.
I remember when I was in junior high school seeing the movie Meatballs (about a summer camp) and thinking to myself, “If only I could lose a lot of weight, I could be a counselor-in-training next summer and meet all kinds of friends and have a good time.” I equated being thin with being popular and accepted and worthy of having a boyfriend. There was also another incident when I was in university where a guy I barely knew (and who wasn't even attractive to me in any way) told me that he thought I would be very attractive if I lost 40 pounds. Again: equating thinness with worthyness and attractiveness.
I think I flirted with uncovering the true source of my fear several times over the last ten years or so. As near as I can figure it, it is the same fear that everyone has: fear of rejection. But the way it manifested itself in me was that I equated being fat with being rejected and unaccepted, so at least I had an “excuse”. But where the fear came in was in thinking, “What if I do all this work and lose all kinds of weight and I am STILL unaccepted and rejected? Not only would all that work be for naught, it would expose that I have some other fatal character flaw that ultimately makes me unlovable.
So, here I am on this precipice of fear (so to speak), mentally and physically committed to losing the final 20-30 pounds that I think I need to be “normal” (and I know how off-the-mark that thinking is). Yet, I know that it's not going to make a lick of a difference in whether or not I am loved; that has to come from me. But it’s my lack of confidence in myself emotionally that I think might be holding me back.
It's weird, because I am so self-confident in so many areas of my life. But for some reason, things just haven't clicked for me in this one area.
Clearly, some more soul-searching is in order. More to come...
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Allergies
My nose is completely stuffed up from swimming two days in a row. I did manage to wear my nose plug this evening, but it can only do so much. And somehow I still managed to get a noseful of water - even while wearing the plug! Go figure.
I had to race from my floor hockey game (we lost again) to my swim class. I missed the first half hour, but a lot of that was review. We did a lot more stuff with our arms tonight, which was great to give my sore legs a break. But then we spen the last half hour doing more kicking stuff, so my legs were burning again.
I seem to be the star pupil. I just really have a knack for swimming and it comes really naturally to me. I could see the other people in the class struggling with things that I was able to do right off the bat. In fact, I had intuitively been doing those things in the water, I just hadn't known what it was that I was doing.
Of course, I'm getting anxious to put it all together and actually "swim". All these drills are getting a little boring, but I guess I just have to stick with it.
This week-long course is also wreaking havoc with my eating. Swimming makes me very hungry, but since we end so late (9PM tonight, but 10PM last night), I can't really eat "dinner" afterwards. I'm going to come in really low on calories again today. Actually, I'm not really feeling hungry; I'm more concerned that I won't lose weight if I cut back my calories too drastically.
It's also wreaking havoc with my sleeping as I am so wound up after swimming that I can't go to sleep. It's almost 11PM now and I'm not even tired.
Gotta get all my wet gear hung up and head off to bed. Maybe a nice warm shower first to help relax me a bit...
I had to race from my floor hockey game (we lost again) to my swim class. I missed the first half hour, but a lot of that was review. We did a lot more stuff with our arms tonight, which was great to give my sore legs a break. But then we spen the last half hour doing more kicking stuff, so my legs were burning again.
I seem to be the star pupil. I just really have a knack for swimming and it comes really naturally to me. I could see the other people in the class struggling with things that I was able to do right off the bat. In fact, I had intuitively been doing those things in the water, I just hadn't known what it was that I was doing.
Of course, I'm getting anxious to put it all together and actually "swim". All these drills are getting a little boring, but I guess I just have to stick with it.
This week-long course is also wreaking havoc with my eating. Swimming makes me very hungry, but since we end so late (9PM tonight, but 10PM last night), I can't really eat "dinner" afterwards. I'm going to come in really low on calories again today. Actually, I'm not really feeling hungry; I'm more concerned that I won't lose weight if I cut back my calories too drastically.
It's also wreaking havoc with my sleeping as I am so wound up after swimming that I can't go to sleep. It's almost 11PM now and I'm not even tired.
Gotta get all my wet gear hung up and head off to bed. Maybe a nice warm shower first to help relax me a bit...
Monday, October 17, 2005
Just got back from my swim clinic. It was supposed to be three nights a week for two weeks but the coach just found out this morning that the pool is going to be closed next week unexpectedly. That means we have to cram all eight hours into five sessions in one week instead of six sessions over two weeks. I'm already feeling a little pruney and my eyes are all red from the chlorine.
The clinic is AWESOME, though. I have a horrible kick and tonight was all about kicking. My legs are BURNING! Part of that is just the remnants from my long run on Sunday, but tonight's workout was still quite strenuous.
We're breaking the stroke down into its minute components and then putting it all together in the end. I'm looking forward to seeing the results.
I normally wear a nose plug because I'm allergic to the chlorine and I have sneezing fits and a plugged up nose for hours afterwards. Tonight, because we were stopping and starting, I didn't wear my nose plug for most of it. I almost sneezed my head right off in the car on the way home!
Tomorrow I have a floor hockey game but now I have a two-hour swim clininc at the same time! Grrrr. I can probably fit both in as my hockey game is at 6PM and swimming is at 7PM, so I'll only miss the first 30 minutes or so. But I WILL miss drinks afterwards. Cripes... when am I going to EAT!
Oh well, it's only for a week...
The clinic is AWESOME, though. I have a horrible kick and tonight was all about kicking. My legs are BURNING! Part of that is just the remnants from my long run on Sunday, but tonight's workout was still quite strenuous.
We're breaking the stroke down into its minute components and then putting it all together in the end. I'm looking forward to seeing the results.
I normally wear a nose plug because I'm allergic to the chlorine and I have sneezing fits and a plugged up nose for hours afterwards. Tonight, because we were stopping and starting, I didn't wear my nose plug for most of it. I almost sneezed my head right off in the car on the way home!
Tomorrow I have a floor hockey game but now I have a two-hour swim clininc at the same time! Grrrr. I can probably fit both in as my hockey game is at 6PM and swimming is at 7PM, so I'll only miss the first 30 minutes or so. But I WILL miss drinks afterwards. Cripes... when am I going to EAT!
Oh well, it's only for a week...
"Don't Wake the Baby!"
I'm standing on the side of the road yesterday cheering on my friends in the half marathon and marathon. I'm wearing my running tights, running shoes, t-shirt and light jacket (freezing, by the way). I've got a bell that I'm ringing to help encourage runners up the big hill. I do see some of my friends and we give each other a big wave and a cheer. Even people I didn't know were smiling and waving and saying thanks for coming out to support them.
Part way through, a older man (well, older than me; maybe in his early 50s) yells out to me: "Don't wake the baby!" It takes me a few seconds, but then I realize: He thinks I PREGNANT! Egads!
OK, first of all, I would NEVER make a comment to any woman about her being pregnant unless I could actually see the baby coming through the birth canal! Goodness, some people can be so freaking RUDE. I expect it from little kids because they don't really know the difference (and usually it's their parents who are mortified - but I often wonder what they are telling their kids about the different shapes and sizes of people in the world).
:::}smoke coming out of my ears{:::
I just got off my bike after doing a good 30 minutes on my trainer. I'm off to swim class in a few minutes. It's my first class of a two-week intensive program (three nights a week).
Oh, and to answer Jennifer P's question from yesterday's comments: I have a scale that measures body fat by sending a small current through your feet while you stand on the scale. They're not 100% accurate, but it does give me a bit of a picture. They're widely available.
Part way through, a older man (well, older than me; maybe in his early 50s) yells out to me: "Don't wake the baby!" It takes me a few seconds, but then I realize: He thinks I PREGNANT! Egads!
OK, first of all, I would NEVER make a comment to any woman about her being pregnant unless I could actually see the baby coming through the birth canal! Goodness, some people can be so freaking RUDE. I expect it from little kids because they don't really know the difference (and usually it's their parents who are mortified - but I often wonder what they are telling their kids about the different shapes and sizes of people in the world).
:::}smoke coming out of my ears{:::
I just got off my bike after doing a good 30 minutes on my trainer. I'm off to swim class in a few minutes. It's my first class of a two-week intensive program (three nights a week).
Oh, and to answer Jennifer P's question from yesterday's comments: I have a scale that measures body fat by sending a small current through your feet while you stand on the scale. They're not 100% accurate, but it does give me a bit of a picture. They're widely available.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Be careful what you wish for
So, after Friday's rant about my frustrating experiences with my scale, I went out and bought a new one. Set it all up that evening with all my stats (height/age, etc.). Saturday morning; stepped on the brand new scale: 170.8! I'm UP 1.8 pounds!! Grrr!
OK, so I now know that my old scale was about 1.8 pounds off, so that means I have to recalibrate my baseline accordingly. But I do feel better knowing that I have a more accurate scale, even though it doesn't show me the numbers I want to see!
Oh, and then there's the body fat percentage... ugh! I think I'm around 37% and that's just disgusting in my book! Blech!
But again, I have an actual baseline to work from now.
*sigh*
The new measurements have begun! Let's hope I see some positive progress in the weeks to come.
Update: 3:30PM - Oh, forgot to mention that I had a great workout yesterday. CL and I ran 18K in 2:05. When I logged my activity stats for the day, that one run accounted for over 1300 EXTRA calories that I could consume that day! Good thing, because I met some friends for dinner and I had pasta with chicken and a mildly creamy cheese sauce. Good think I still had 999 calories left to eat before I left for dinner!
OK, so I now know that my old scale was about 1.8 pounds off, so that means I have to recalibrate my baseline accordingly. But I do feel better knowing that I have a more accurate scale, even though it doesn't show me the numbers I want to see!
Oh, and then there's the body fat percentage... ugh! I think I'm around 37% and that's just disgusting in my book! Blech!
But again, I have an actual baseline to work from now.
*sigh*
The new measurements have begun! Let's hope I see some positive progress in the weeks to come.
Update: 3:30PM - Oh, forgot to mention that I had a great workout yesterday. CL and I ran 18K in 2:05. When I logged my activity stats for the day, that one run accounted for over 1300 EXTRA calories that I could consume that day! Good thing, because I met some friends for dinner and I had pasta with chicken and a mildly creamy cheese sauce. Good think I still had 999 calories left to eat before I left for dinner!
Friday, October 14, 2005
Friday Weight In
*sigh*
So, I'm still at 169. I did the ol' "move the scale around the room and step on it to see if you get a different result" trick. It didn't work.
I think I'm going to buy a new scale - splurge and buy the body-fat kind. I've actually had this particular one for the last nine years, so I guess I'm due. It has a digital readout, but it's not a true "digital" scale - it's the spring kind (I think). I am slightly torn about this decision because I know I shouldn't be placing so much "weight" on the reading on the scale; but I also find it to be very valuable feedback, so I'm going to do it.
I had a good workout day again today. I got up and did 35 minutes on my bike trainer at 6AM. At lunch, I did a tough upper-body strength training session followed by 25 minutes on the elliptical machine.
No plans for tonight. Maybe do some house cleaning.
18K run planned for tomorrow, then getting together with the BC before she leaves for Rome.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Great workout, but I'm paying for it now!
Oy! I had a good workout day yesterday, but I'm paying for it today.
I went to the gym at lunch and did strength training on my legs for 30 minutes. It was a tough workout and I knew I was going to hurt the next day as early as 4:30 when I left work. Which meant that I was going to REALLY feel it today!
Then, I met my friends and did a little speed training. I always think of myself as a really slow runner, so I kind of like doing speed training because it makes me feel fast. So, we did a 2K warm-up run followed by 4 x 1000m repeats with 90 seconds rest in between. There was a NASTY wind blowing from the east, so our first repeat was done with a really strong tailwind (woo!). I did that lap in 5:13 - pretty darned fast for me. The return lap into a 40kph headwind was BRUTAL. I tried to draft off my running partners, but they dropped me within the first few hundred meters. I did that lap in 5:28. The final two laps were 5:10 and 5:26, so at least I got faster, which is the goal when doing speed work. If you can't maintain the pace then it means you went out too hard. In the end, we did 7.2K, which is a pretty good day's work in my book.
But today... oh, lordy, the PAIN! It's not "I injured myself" pain; it's "I worked my ass off" pain - which is GOOD pain. Really, it is! But it also put the kybosh on my workout plans for today because I just don't have the energy (nor the inclination). I guess I'll have to try to fit in a workout at the gym tomorrow.
The BC (aka, my little sis) is getting ready for her month-long pilgrimage to Italy, France and Spain on Saturday, so we're trying to get together tomorrow night before she goes away.
CL and I are going to do our long run on Saturday because we're going to cheer on our friends doing the marathon/half-marathon on Sunday. I still haven't decided if I'm going to drive or ride my bike after what happened last time (i.e., the Big Bike Crash). We'll see...
Oh, and tomorrow is another weigh-in day. Many people have commented on how good they think I look, but I reeeeeeealy want to see a lower number on the scales! Pleeeeeeease!
I went to the gym at lunch and did strength training on my legs for 30 minutes. It was a tough workout and I knew I was going to hurt the next day as early as 4:30 when I left work. Which meant that I was going to REALLY feel it today!
Then, I met my friends and did a little speed training. I always think of myself as a really slow runner, so I kind of like doing speed training because it makes me feel fast. So, we did a 2K warm-up run followed by 4 x 1000m repeats with 90 seconds rest in between. There was a NASTY wind blowing from the east, so our first repeat was done with a really strong tailwind (woo!). I did that lap in 5:13 - pretty darned fast for me. The return lap into a 40kph headwind was BRUTAL. I tried to draft off my running partners, but they dropped me within the first few hundred meters. I did that lap in 5:28. The final two laps were 5:10 and 5:26, so at least I got faster, which is the goal when doing speed work. If you can't maintain the pace then it means you went out too hard. In the end, we did 7.2K, which is a pretty good day's work in my book.
But today... oh, lordy, the PAIN! It's not "I injured myself" pain; it's "I worked my ass off" pain - which is GOOD pain. Really, it is! But it also put the kybosh on my workout plans for today because I just don't have the energy (nor the inclination). I guess I'll have to try to fit in a workout at the gym tomorrow.
The BC (aka, my little sis) is getting ready for her month-long pilgrimage to Italy, France and Spain on Saturday, so we're trying to get together tomorrow night before she goes away.
CL and I are going to do our long run on Saturday because we're going to cheer on our friends doing the marathon/half-marathon on Sunday. I still haven't decided if I'm going to drive or ride my bike after what happened last time (i.e., the Big Bike Crash). We'll see...
Oh, and tomorrow is another weigh-in day. Many people have commented on how good they think I look, but I reeeeeeealy want to see a lower number on the scales! Pleeeeeeease!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Crap! (and double-Crap)
Crap #1: I was tripped during floor hockey tonight and fell hard on my right knee and elbow onto the gym floor. The woman who tripped me was very apologetic, but it was little consolation. It was near the end of the game, so I didn't play the rest of the game. It really knocked me for a loop and I had to catch my breath from the shock of it. The good thing is that it wasn't my already gimpy left leg, so now I'm even with two gimpy legs. I'm icing my knee right now. Crap.
Crap #2: We lost the game 9-8. We still haven't won a game. Our losses have been by 2, 5, 2 and now 1 goal. Heartbreaking. Crappy-Crap.
Went over on calories again today. Only by about 150 and that's with a goal of a 750-calorie deficit, so I think I'm still good. I did my bike workout for 35 minutes this morning. After work, I did a 30-minute Gravity class and man was I sweating and feeling the burn (I was actually on a higher level than I normally go for the upper body exercises because I miscounted the rung settings on the bar). Then I played 55 minutes of floor hockey. We only had one female sub, so I played a good chunk of the game (until my fall, that is).
I think I'll go to the gym at lunch tomorrow (rather than in the morning) and then do a track workout in the evening.
Bedtime now (ahhhhh!).
Crap #2: We lost the game 9-8. We still haven't won a game. Our losses have been by 2, 5, 2 and now 1 goal. Heartbreaking. Crappy-Crap.
Went over on calories again today. Only by about 150 and that's with a goal of a 750-calorie deficit, so I think I'm still good. I did my bike workout for 35 minutes this morning. After work, I did a 30-minute Gravity class and man was I sweating and feeling the burn (I was actually on a higher level than I normally go for the upper body exercises because I miscounted the rung settings on the bar). Then I played 55 minutes of floor hockey. We only had one female sub, so I played a good chunk of the game (until my fall, that is).
I think I'll go to the gym at lunch tomorrow (rather than in the morning) and then do a track workout in the evening.
Bedtime now (ahhhhh!).
Monday, October 10, 2005
Nine Years
It just occured to me today that this week marks my nine-year anniversary of commiting myself to health, fitness and weight loss!
It was 1996 and I had just started a new job. I went to Chicago on vacation in September. On the day I left Chicago I caught an episode of 0prah where she was talking about her new book with B0b Green. I bought the book at 0'Hare and read it non-stop for the next few days. Shortly thereafter, I saw some photos of myself on vacation and was horrified at what I saw. Within a couple of weeks, I joined the gym at work, got with "the program" and the rest is history.
The journey has been very long. Mine is not an overnight weight-loss success story. I didn't magically wake up five months later 100 pounds thinner. The first 20 pounds came off fairly easy. I then struggled for every pound after that and it took me several years before I saw another significant loss.
In the fall of '99 - three years after I began my journey - I decided to have br3ast r3duction surgery. I had also just heard about this "low-carb" approach to dieting and decided to give it a try. I lost about 15 pounds before meeting with my surgeon, but then she suggested that I should try to lose another 25. So, by May of 2000 I was down about 60 pounds from where I had started and I ended up losing another five pounds just after my surgery.
Since then, my weight had stabilized and hovered between 175-180 (although getting all the way back up to 188 in January of 2003) for the next couple of years. I felt good and carrying around an extra 30 pounds or so didn't really hold me back from running -- in fact, I did a couple of marathons and an Ironman triathlon at that weight.
But here I am now, dissatisfied with my current weight (169 as of this morning). I managed to get my weight down from 182 after Christmas down to about 170-174 for most of the summer, but I've struggled to go below that magic 169 number. Actually, I did see a 168 on my scale a few months ago, but that was for one brief day.
For the last four weeks I've been re-dedicating myself to weight-loss, trying to lose those final 20-25 pounds. After my summer vacation I think my weight was around 172 or 173, so in the last four weeks I've barely lost 3 pounds. I've journalled virtually every piece of food I've put in my mouth and exercised 5-6 days a week. My daily deficit has been about 750 calories (sometimes more), so I don't know why I'm not seeing any movement on the scales!
Funny, with today being my 9-year anniversary, that I completely blew all my Boot Camp rules: I had turkey dinner with all the trimmings, including a glass of wine and dessert. I feel like a stuffed pig. Blech! I could rationalize my food choices by saying that I didn't eat any of the turkey skin, that I only had two tiny slivers of apple and of pumpkin pie with barely a spoonful of ice cream, and that all the potatoes and squash I had were healthy. But that would just be a rationalization, wouldn't it.
So, it's back to the gym tomorrow. I think I'll do a bike workout in the morning on my trainer and then try to squeeze in a weight session after work before my floor hockey game.
I'm really hoping that I'll see some new movement on the scales this week. I really do.
It was 1996 and I had just started a new job. I went to Chicago on vacation in September. On the day I left Chicago I caught an episode of 0prah where she was talking about her new book with B0b Green. I bought the book at 0'Hare and read it non-stop for the next few days. Shortly thereafter, I saw some photos of myself on vacation and was horrified at what I saw. Within a couple of weeks, I joined the gym at work, got with "the program" and the rest is history.
The journey has been very long. Mine is not an overnight weight-loss success story. I didn't magically wake up five months later 100 pounds thinner. The first 20 pounds came off fairly easy. I then struggled for every pound after that and it took me several years before I saw another significant loss.
In the fall of '99 - three years after I began my journey - I decided to have br3ast r3duction surgery. I had also just heard about this "low-carb" approach to dieting and decided to give it a try. I lost about 15 pounds before meeting with my surgeon, but then she suggested that I should try to lose another 25. So, by May of 2000 I was down about 60 pounds from where I had started and I ended up losing another five pounds just after my surgery.
Since then, my weight had stabilized and hovered between 175-180 (although getting all the way back up to 188 in January of 2003) for the next couple of years. I felt good and carrying around an extra 30 pounds or so didn't really hold me back from running -- in fact, I did a couple of marathons and an Ironman triathlon at that weight.
But here I am now, dissatisfied with my current weight (169 as of this morning). I managed to get my weight down from 182 after Christmas down to about 170-174 for most of the summer, but I've struggled to go below that magic 169 number. Actually, I did see a 168 on my scale a few months ago, but that was for one brief day.
For the last four weeks I've been re-dedicating myself to weight-loss, trying to lose those final 20-25 pounds. After my summer vacation I think my weight was around 172 or 173, so in the last four weeks I've barely lost 3 pounds. I've journalled virtually every piece of food I've put in my mouth and exercised 5-6 days a week. My daily deficit has been about 750 calories (sometimes more), so I don't know why I'm not seeing any movement on the scales!
Funny, with today being my 9-year anniversary, that I completely blew all my Boot Camp rules: I had turkey dinner with all the trimmings, including a glass of wine and dessert. I feel like a stuffed pig. Blech! I could rationalize my food choices by saying that I didn't eat any of the turkey skin, that I only had two tiny slivers of apple and of pumpkin pie with barely a spoonful of ice cream, and that all the potatoes and squash I had were healthy. But that would just be a rationalization, wouldn't it.
So, it's back to the gym tomorrow. I think I'll do a bike workout in the morning on my trainer and then try to squeeze in a weight session after work before my floor hockey game.
I'm really hoping that I'll see some new movement on the scales this week. I really do.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
A Lovely Day!
I ran with my friend GS this morning. CL bailed on me at the last minute, but luckily I had GS to run with. We had lost touch over the summer as we both had busy schedules, so it was nice to share 16K with him this morning. We ran through the park system which was lovely because it's so peaceful and quiet and you don't have to stop for lights or anything. We ran for 1:50, which is the longest run I've done in a while. It felt good, but I was a bit sore and tired afterwards.
I was walking back into the store after my run when JH said to me, "Wow, you're really melting away. You look great." Hmmm, thanks! JH and I have a bit of a weird relationship. I wouldn't really call her a friend, but she's part of the circle of people I run with and socialize with from time to time. She's currently dating a guy that I dated briefly a couple of years ago. Actually, I dated him while the two of them were broken up (they've had one of those on-again-off-again relationships which appears to be on-again right now). Anyway, I don't hold any resentment towards her in any way as I have no interest in the guy she's dating. As far as I'm concerned they deserve each other as they are both a little fucked up (he more than she).
So, regardless of what the scales say tomorrow, I know that I'm looking good and feeling good (not just because of what she said; I feel it, too).
After my run I had breakfast and then went to the liquor store to buy some wine for dinner tomorrow night. I just vegged on the couch in the afternoon and actually fell asleep on the couch for a while. I'm actually still feeling a little dopey right now. I'm going to make pastry this evening for the pies I am going to make tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just get up early tomorrow and do it; I'm still feeling a little bagged.
I was walking back into the store after my run when JH said to me, "Wow, you're really melting away. You look great." Hmmm, thanks! JH and I have a bit of a weird relationship. I wouldn't really call her a friend, but she's part of the circle of people I run with and socialize with from time to time. She's currently dating a guy that I dated briefly a couple of years ago. Actually, I dated him while the two of them were broken up (they've had one of those on-again-off-again relationships which appears to be on-again right now). Anyway, I don't hold any resentment towards her in any way as I have no interest in the guy she's dating. As far as I'm concerned they deserve each other as they are both a little fucked up (he more than she).
So, regardless of what the scales say tomorrow, I know that I'm looking good and feeling good (not just because of what she said; I feel it, too).
After my run I had breakfast and then went to the liquor store to buy some wine for dinner tomorrow night. I just vegged on the couch in the afternoon and actually fell asleep on the couch for a while. I'm actually still feeling a little dopey right now. I'm going to make pastry this evening for the pies I am going to make tomorrow. Or maybe I'll just get up early tomorrow and do it; I'm still feeling a little bagged.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Buffets
Although I've probably known it all along, I just realized last weekend how evil buffets are.
After the Run for the Cure my colleagues and I went out for brunch. We ended up at a place near the office that was offering a buffet. We didn't see how much it cost (later discovered it was $16.95, not including beverages - even basic coffee).
The queue for the food was insanely long. They put the desserts right at the beginning of the line, followed by the waffles and then the custom omelettes. There was another section for the salads and hot foods. I was ravenous after my run, but I also didn't want to overindulge given that I'm still doing Boot Camp and all.
I took very small amounts of this and that - whatever looked good - including some roast beef carved right there. I wouldn't say that my 10" plate was mounded over with food (like some people's were), but it was definitely full. I ate the amount I was hungry for, but there was that little niggling voice inside of me that was saying, "You're paying $16.95 for this brunch - you better get your money's worth!" I didn't even finish everything on my plate and I didn't go back for seconds. Oh, the dessert table was very appealing (and some of my friends did go back for dessert), but I just stayed seated and drank more coffee.
But a little part of me inside was feeling a little ripped off. More in a financial sense than anything else, really. I think I did a pretty good job of taking foods that appealed to me, but in very small portions (just a bite or two of each thing). And I abstained from the bacon, saussages and lasagne that were offered (and looked soooooooo good). When it came time to pay the bill, I realized how much I had to pay for such a small portion of food. But I was also very proud of myself for not letting that part of my brain take over and say, "Well, you're paying for it; you might as well eat it!"
I doubt that I will be going to another buffet any time soon...
On a completely unrelated note, I had an awesome run yesterday evening. I had brought my workout gear to the office so that I could pop over to the gym at lunch and do some strength training, but when I got there, I realized that I had forgotten to pack my shoes! D'oh! So, I got re-dressed and headed back to the office without a workout. Whaaa! So when I got home, I changed into my running gear right away and headed out the door. It was overcast, drizzly and quite chilly. I ran 7K (4.3 miles) in about 44 minutes. That's a bit slower than I would normally go for that distance, but I was really feeling "in the zone" on my run. The first part of my route was fine, but I did get held up by stoplights a bit. Once I got down to the recreation path down on Lakeshore, I just fell into my pace and had an awesome run. I can't even say that it was just me and my footsteps because I couldn't even hear those as I was running so "quietly" (which means I had good form). I only saw one other runner once I got closer to home. I just love those "in the zone" runs where you feel like you could go on forever.
I did not ride my bike this morning as my friend FS was busy. I opted to do some housecleaning instead. I've managed to clean out my dresser drawers and closets of unwanted clothing, so I'll have to drop that stuff off at G00dwill later today. Now, I didn't actually "clean out" my closet; I simply removed clothes I never wear. I still have a whole load of crap in there to deal with, but I'll get to that in due time.
The sun is starting to come out now, so I think I may head out for a bike ride.
Update (6PM):
I did go for a bike ride and it was a lovely ride, although a little windy. Went for coffee afterwards and then came home, took my old clothes to G00dwill, dropped off my duvet at the dry cleaner and then did my grocery shopping. Tonight, I'm just going to hunker down with some DVDs I rented.
After the Run for the Cure my colleagues and I went out for brunch. We ended up at a place near the office that was offering a buffet. We didn't see how much it cost (later discovered it was $16.95, not including beverages - even basic coffee).
The queue for the food was insanely long. They put the desserts right at the beginning of the line, followed by the waffles and then the custom omelettes. There was another section for the salads and hot foods. I was ravenous after my run, but I also didn't want to overindulge given that I'm still doing Boot Camp and all.
I took very small amounts of this and that - whatever looked good - including some roast beef carved right there. I wouldn't say that my 10" plate was mounded over with food (like some people's were), but it was definitely full. I ate the amount I was hungry for, but there was that little niggling voice inside of me that was saying, "You're paying $16.95 for this brunch - you better get your money's worth!" I didn't even finish everything on my plate and I didn't go back for seconds. Oh, the dessert table was very appealing (and some of my friends did go back for dessert), but I just stayed seated and drank more coffee.
But a little part of me inside was feeling a little ripped off. More in a financial sense than anything else, really. I think I did a pretty good job of taking foods that appealed to me, but in very small portions (just a bite or two of each thing). And I abstained from the bacon, saussages and lasagne that were offered (and looked soooooooo good). When it came time to pay the bill, I realized how much I had to pay for such a small portion of food. But I was also very proud of myself for not letting that part of my brain take over and say, "Well, you're paying for it; you might as well eat it!"
I doubt that I will be going to another buffet any time soon...
On a completely unrelated note, I had an awesome run yesterday evening. I had brought my workout gear to the office so that I could pop over to the gym at lunch and do some strength training, but when I got there, I realized that I had forgotten to pack my shoes! D'oh! So, I got re-dressed and headed back to the office without a workout. Whaaa! So when I got home, I changed into my running gear right away and headed out the door. It was overcast, drizzly and quite chilly. I ran 7K (4.3 miles) in about 44 minutes. That's a bit slower than I would normally go for that distance, but I was really feeling "in the zone" on my run. The first part of my route was fine, but I did get held up by stoplights a bit. Once I got down to the recreation path down on Lakeshore, I just fell into my pace and had an awesome run. I can't even say that it was just me and my footsteps because I couldn't even hear those as I was running so "quietly" (which means I had good form). I only saw one other runner once I got closer to home. I just love those "in the zone" runs where you feel like you could go on forever.
I did not ride my bike this morning as my friend FS was busy. I opted to do some housecleaning instead. I've managed to clean out my dresser drawers and closets of unwanted clothing, so I'll have to drop that stuff off at G00dwill later today. Now, I didn't actually "clean out" my closet; I simply removed clothes I never wear. I still have a whole load of crap in there to deal with, but I'll get to that in due time.
The sun is starting to come out now, so I think I may head out for a bike ride.
Update (6PM):
I did go for a bike ride and it was a lovely ride, although a little windy. Went for coffee afterwards and then came home, took my old clothes to G00dwill, dropped off my duvet at the dry cleaner and then did my grocery shopping. Tonight, I'm just going to hunker down with some DVDs I rented.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Catching up...
Goodness... I can't believe it's been a week since I last posted!
My hip is coming along well, although it's still swollen (and itchy!) and I can't lie on my left side.
Tonight is the first night since Sunday that I have been home before 10PM. I did laundry after work and now I'm just vegging on the couch.
I got back to my workouts this week, which was a good thing. I didn't go all out with bike commuting AND gym workouts, mostly because I had to go out after work so riding to work wasn't practical.
Speaking of going out after work, I took H out for her BD on Monday night. I had already planned for a night off "Boot Camp" so that we could celebrate properly. Dinner was DIVINE! I had a lovely little tomato focaccia appetizer followed by rack of lamb (medium rare). For dessert, I had a slice of pumpkin and pecan tart that was worth every calorie it contained! Oh, and had two 7-oz carafes of wine (a Pinot Noir and a Zinfandel - both: YUM!). I was a little looped when I left, I have to say. But it was just so nice to enjoy my dinner. The portions were appropriately small, so it was perfect. I got to enjoy some outstanding food without taking in 2,000+ calories in one meal. It was great!
And as for Boot Camp, I had a bit of a meltdown on Monday morning when I stepped on the scales and it read 170 pounds. I've barely lost two pounds in three weeks, which is far less than I had expected. I still have not broken through my previous low weight barrier, which is the other reason why I was pissed. I'm scheduled for another weigh-in tomorrow morning, so I'm hoping for a more favourable result. Considering I did work out much last week, I'm consoling myself by saying that I should be happy that I didn't gain any weight.
I had a fairly decent run last Sunday - I did a long, slow distance run (6.5K) down to the Run for the Cure site, then met up with my colleagues and did the 5K race. It was a zoo with more than 30,000 people in attendance, so it was tough to navigate through the crowd at the start. I finished in 28:09, which is pretty close to a personal best time for me at that distance (although I think the route was a tad short).
Plans for the weekend: Packing, cycling, running and eating. I brought a bunch of boxes home from work, so I need to purge some stuff this weekend so that I'm not moving crap when the time comes (soon, I hope). I'm going to go for a bike ride on Saturday for the first time since my crash almost two weeks ago. On Sunday, my plan is to run about 16K. On Monday I'm going over to CL's to teach her how to cook a turkey for Thanksgiving (that's this weekend here in Canada).
That's it. Hopefully I'll have some happy weight-loss news tomorrow or at my next weigh-in on Monday.
My hip is coming along well, although it's still swollen (and itchy!) and I can't lie on my left side.
Tonight is the first night since Sunday that I have been home before 10PM. I did laundry after work and now I'm just vegging on the couch.
I got back to my workouts this week, which was a good thing. I didn't go all out with bike commuting AND gym workouts, mostly because I had to go out after work so riding to work wasn't practical.
Speaking of going out after work, I took H out for her BD on Monday night. I had already planned for a night off "Boot Camp" so that we could celebrate properly. Dinner was DIVINE! I had a lovely little tomato focaccia appetizer followed by rack of lamb (medium rare). For dessert, I had a slice of pumpkin and pecan tart that was worth every calorie it contained! Oh, and had two 7-oz carafes of wine (a Pinot Noir and a Zinfandel - both: YUM!). I was a little looped when I left, I have to say. But it was just so nice to enjoy my dinner. The portions were appropriately small, so it was perfect. I got to enjoy some outstanding food without taking in 2,000+ calories in one meal. It was great!
And as for Boot Camp, I had a bit of a meltdown on Monday morning when I stepped on the scales and it read 170 pounds. I've barely lost two pounds in three weeks, which is far less than I had expected. I still have not broken through my previous low weight barrier, which is the other reason why I was pissed. I'm scheduled for another weigh-in tomorrow morning, so I'm hoping for a more favourable result. Considering I did work out much last week, I'm consoling myself by saying that I should be happy that I didn't gain any weight.
I had a fairly decent run last Sunday - I did a long, slow distance run (6.5K) down to the Run for the Cure site, then met up with my colleagues and did the 5K race. It was a zoo with more than 30,000 people in attendance, so it was tough to navigate through the crowd at the start. I finished in 28:09, which is pretty close to a personal best time for me at that distance (although I think the route was a tad short).
Plans for the weekend: Packing, cycling, running and eating. I brought a bunch of boxes home from work, so I need to purge some stuff this weekend so that I'm not moving crap when the time comes (soon, I hope). I'm going to go for a bike ride on Saturday for the first time since my crash almost two weeks ago. On Sunday, my plan is to run about 16K. On Monday I'm going over to CL's to teach her how to cook a turkey for Thanksgiving (that's this weekend here in Canada).
That's it. Hopefully I'll have some happy weight-loss news tomorrow or at my next weigh-in on Monday.
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