Home alone on a Saturday night...

How pathetic am I? Yes, I'm home alone on a Saturday night, just me and my piles of boxes and stuff to sort through. I mean, I don't really have to sort through any of it right this minute, but I really have nothing better to do.

How exciting is my life? Well, I bought new white sheets today (300-thread count) with some crisp brown piping along the edge. I laundered them and they came out of the dryer in a mass of wrinkles, so I spent the next 45 minutes ironing them. Argh! I HATE ironing! I didn't bother with the fitted bottom sheet (how would you iron that anyway, what with the elastic all around the edge??), but the pillow cases and top sheet had to be done.

And I did this as my former non-boyfriend lay on my bed after popping by on his way out on a date WITH ANOTHER GIRL!! [In his defense, he came by to drop off one of my drawers that he had fixed for me since the runner along the bottom had broken off and was a big pain to open/close.]

Oh yes, I have quite the life!

So, my bed is made with my fresh new sheets. And I'll be sleeping in it alone, yet again.

[Sigh]

But the good news is that this same former non-boyfriend is taking me on a trip to D1sney in November! He won an award at work and the trip is his reward. I was very happy when he asked me to go with him. I had to juggle some commitments at work to be able to go, but it all worked out.

To be honest, I probably would have been pretty devastated had he asked one of his other non-girlfriends to go with him, although I didn't tell him that. I told him that I would of course be honoured/excited if he asked me to go, but that if he chose to take someone else that I wouldn't be mad at him or hate him. I did tell him that I'd be disappointed, but it wouldn't be an end to our friendship or anything.

I was trying to play the "all cool" card, but that's often gotten me into trouble in the past as it sometimes appears that I don't care (when I really do). I wanted him to know that I did care, but I didn't want him to take me simply out of a sense of obligation or because he was worried that I'd be mad at him if he didn't. I wanted him to take me because he wanted to share this experience with me and nobody else.

But I know that the person he really wanted to share it with is the same person who still has a stranglehold on his heart. And that person isn't me.