Reality Check

I was worried about stepping on the scales after the feeding frenzy that was Christmas. I actually considered not weighing myself until I was back at work and back to my regular routine, but then I decided that I needed the reality check.

Two days ago, I weighed in at 169-something. Yesterday, I was up to 171.8 (yikes!). Today, I'm back down to 170.6. Still, it's about 5 pounds from my All Time Low a few weeks ago of 166. But somehow I think that those 5 pounds will be relatively easy to lose since it is "new" weight.

I don't know why I think that "new" weight is easier to lose than "old" weight - because I've never read anything to suggest there's a difference between the two - but it's just a perception that I have.

Each day, I start with the intention of eating well (meaning: not mindlessly snacking). Yesterday and today I started out well with my bowl of Mini Wheats (still left over from my Gingerbread house). I really have to go grocery shopping as I've run out of virtually everything. Yesterday I ate pretty well until I got to the pub after my run and chowed down on nachos and chicken wings. And beer. I just couldn't resist.

Creeky (my bro) left yesterday and P (my mum) leaves this morning. My life is now relatively back to normal as I can follow my own routine. Until the weekend, that is, when there are more parties and more food. I'll just have to PLAN to be good.

And when I say "good", what I really mean is that I will avoid mindless eating, which is my biggest downfall. I've realized that it's not what I eat so much as how I eat it that's the problem. I've also not journalled my food AT ALL since Wednesday before Christmas! Which, I'm sure, is part of the reason for the weight gain.

But I did keep up with my running over the holidays (including an 18K run on Christmas Eve) and exercised every second day. That's less than I usually work out, but I don't mind taking a bit of down time now because things are going to really heat up training-wise starting next week.

I think I'll start with what's known as Mega Training Day a week from Saturday, which will be a good way to jump start my training. It's about $50 for the day, but it's led by an Olympic triathlon coach, so it's well worth the money. If it's as in years past, it will be a 3-hour bike trainer workout followed by 90 minutes of core conditioning and then 90 minutes of swimming.

I'm going to do my "long" run on Friday this week because I have a 9K race on New Year's Day (Sunday) and I still don't like to run on back-to-back days. I think we'll run about 12K on Friday.

For New Year's Eve I'm getting together with friends for a dinner party followed by a house party at another friend's new house. The guest list for the house party is over 150 people, so it could end up being quite the shindig! I'm going to wear my best party dress. Speaking of which, I finally got a copy of some photos taken of me in The Dress from the event in November (I've cropped out the photos of my friends).

Excess

Oy, when will the feeding frenzy end??

I know, I know... it's all within my control - nobody is forcing the food into my mouth. But still... somehow I have a hard time restraining myself from mindless snacking at this time of year.

Here's the recap of my week:

Thursday evening: Met H, N and her friend K for dinner/drinks on Thursday night. Had a mediocre braised lamb shank for dinner. An OK bottle of wine (Ontario Pinot Noir) and a pint of Kilkenny.

Friday: I threw the Skor bar pieces into the garbage so that I wouldn't continue to munch on them. Rode my bike trainer for an hour.

Saturday: I ran 18K in just over 2 hours with my friends. No time for a post-run breakfast as I had to pick up the turkey from the butcher then go home and make pastry and tourtiere for dinner. Went to my aunt's and only had 1 1/2 platefuls of food (and the half-plateful was mostly salad). Since I was driving, I only had one glass of wine and some gingerale.

Sunday: No exercise. Opened presents at the BC's then made breakfast (pancakes). Not sure how many I ate. Went home and cooked some more(made stuffing and an onion tart) then back to the BC's to put the turkey in the oven. Snacked on lots of things, including chocolates.

Monday: Ran for 40 minutes. Didn't eat much - had Mini-Wheats before my run and a latte with a low-fat blueberry muffin afterwards. Except for one chocolate bar that made it's way from my Christmas stocking into my mouth (damn you, Santa!), didn't eat again until dinner (spaghetti and meatballs, one glass of wine). There was a power failure at home (more on that later).

And now it's Tuesday. I'm on my way out to meet P and the BC for pedicures! Yea!

Christmas is here...

... let the eating begin!

Goodness, this is NOT going to be easy. There's an event every night, which means food, candy and alcohol. Sigh. I know I'll make it through and I'll be able to lose anything I gain over the next week, but I really wish I could stop myself before things got out of hand. It doesn't help that my period started yesterday, so I have this urge to eat everything in sight.

The only bright spot in all of this is that I still have the time (and desire) to exercise. I walked a ton today with Creeky as we were doing last minute shopping. I hope to get a bit of time on my bike this afternoon before I go out to meet my friends for drinks this evening.

I just HAVE to stop eating the chocolate Skor bar pieces that are in my freezer!!

And why do I have a bag of Skor bar pieces in my freezer? They are left over from the Gingerbread House I made last weekend.



Only the front door is made of Skor bar, so I had LOTS left over.

Only 2 More Sleeps!

Until I'm on Christmas break! Woo!

P and Creek come on Wednesday around noon, so the BC is going to meet us at the train station and we'll all go to lunch together - just the family! It will be lovely before all the craziness of the rest of the holidays starts.

I posted a small gain this morning, likely because I overate this weekend. I had gotten down to 166.0 the other day, which is a total new low for me. I'm back up to 169 now, which is a bit of a drag, but I'm not too worried as I'll surely be able to get back on track. I've come this far and I'm not going to blow it just so that I can indulge in holiday treats - short-term gratification just isn't worth the long-term pain of having to work it off.

I also missed my bike ride on Saturday because I had stuff to do. I did run 15K yesterday, though.

Yesterday afternoon I got together with H &PQ to make gingerbread houses. The only "rule" was that everything had to be edible and you had to use the basic pre-fab kit. It's amazing how the three of us came up with completely different houses from the same basic kit! It was great - we dranks some wine, ate lots of candy, noshed on leftover nibblies - everything a Sunday afternoon should be.

Today is my rest day, which means that I also can't overeat today as I haven't earned any extra calories. That said, I'm on my way out to exchange gifts with KH and CL and there will be wine/food involved, so I'm sure I'll be over calories again today (not to mention some of the leftover candy I nibbled on while tidying up the kitchen this evening). I did get a bit of walking in today as my streetcar didn't come in time and I ended up having to walk home in the freezing cold from the stop down the street (rather than being dropped off right across from my apartment).

I'm also out every other night this week, so I better be getting in my workouts so that I won't have to worry about what and how much I am eating.

Time to go!

Earn it, don't Burn it.

I got an e-mail newsletter this week that planted this idea in my brain: Instead of exercising to work of (or burn) the excess of calories I might have consumed, "earn" your calories by exercising beforehand.

Sorry if I didn't express that very eloquently, but what I'm trying to say is that I am often more successful in my eating/exercising if I "earn" my daily calories rather than worrying about burning them off after I have over-consumed.

So, today I hit the gym at 6:15 and ran for 30 minutes on the treadmill (5-min walk to coold down - total 3.23 miles). I then did some strength training (lower and upper 2x10-12 reps) and back/abs. While doing my second set of crunches on the inclined bench I totally bonked! I almost fell off the bench! Note to self: eat or drink something in the morning before you work out.

I'm off to meet CL for a swim. I reeeeeeeeally don't want to swim tonight, but I know it will be good for me. I'll probably make a little deal with myself once I get in there and as long as I manage to get in 1,000m I'll be happy.

Gotta get ready to go! Ciao!

The Year in Review

Yes, it's that time of year. It also happens to coincide with my birthday, so I like to reminisce around now. Here's what my year looked like:

December:
· Celebrated my BD with the BC, H and P with dinner at Verveine (yum).
· Joined a gym before Christmas so that I could start right away when I got back from Montréal.
· Celebrated NYE with the Tri Gang at NW’s place.

January:
· Ran the Hair of the Dog (9K) on New Year’s Day, then went for my first-ever Polar Bear Dip in Lake Ontario. Little did I know that I’d be swimming in the lake quite a bit later that year…
· Weighed in at 185-ish (182 on my old, faulty scale). Started working out with a personal trainer.
· Hired a personal trainer for the first time. She was a bit of a dud – I could have done all that on my own.

February:
· Lost 10 pounds since the start of the year.
· Went tubing for the first time. Nearly froze to death, but had a good time nonetheless.
· Spent yet another Valentine’s Day alone. Went for a swim with my friend IC instead.

March:
· Reached my lowest weight of 168 (on my old scale), which represented a 15-pound loss.

April:
· Went to NYC for the first time (loved it!) with a group of girlfriends to run a half-marathon in Central Park. We walked more than 8K (5 miles) the next day from our hotel in Mid-town all the way down to Soho and Greenwich. It was awesome! Wished I could have stayed an extra day.

May:
· Ran a half marathon with the BC and Jill. It was a great day!
· Ran a PB of 2:10:01 at the Ottawa half marathon with H as my pace bunny

June:
· Had an outstanding workout month, not missing a single scheduled workout.

July:
· Went on a couple of camping trips: Kingston at the beginning of the month and Lake Placid at the end.
· Won my category (Athena 40+) in a Sprint Tri. It poured rain like the dickens that day, but I had a smoking’ fast 7.5K run of 40:42 (5:25/km). The swim and bike were a bit disappointing.
· Smashed the rear window of my car while backing up into a tree with bikes on the back (Doh!).

August:
· Had a PB of 4:24 at the K-Town Tri (took 18 minutes off my time from 2002 and avenged my DNF from 2005).
· Took a road trip on my own to BC to watch IM and sign up for next year. Flew to YVR then drove from there to Kelowna and Penticton. Camped out on my own, even though I pitched my tent on a slight angle the first night (Doh!).

September:
· Had a PB of 38 minutes in the 2K half IM swim. Bonked on the bike, but improved my half-IM run time to 2:20.

October:
· Took a swimming stroke improvement class, which was very beneficial.

November:
· Set a new half marathon PB of 2:09:14 on a hilly, windy course at Angus Glen.
· Bought an outstanding new party dress and stunned a bunch of former colleagues by how good I looked after 12 years.
· Picked the finishes for my new condo (weeee!)
· Recorded my new lowest weight ever (to that point) on November 12: 167.8 lbs. Total lost since January: 17 lbs.
· Bought my new baby, Vroom Hilda!

Yeah, it's been a pretty good year!

Speedo Run - Photo

Here we are, post-run. I'm the one in the middle with the red knee socks. I don't have any action shots yet.

What a liberating experience!

Yesterday, about 55 other maniacs and I decided to run through downtown in our Speedos with nothing else on but a Santa Hat and our running shoes.

Now, I don't know if you know what it's like in Toronto in December, but it's a little on the chilly side. When I woke up Saturday morning it was -6C (21F) with a wind chill of -15C (5F). Brrrrr! Thankfully, it warmed up to around the freezing mark by the time the run started at 1:30PM.

To be honest, the temperature was not the thing I was most worried about. I was more concerned with being exposed in a bathing suit in front of friends and total strangers. I mean, honestly, most people don't even like wearing bathing suits to swim where they'll be covered by water, let alone run around in one in public! So, I'm no different than anyone else when I say that I've never felt comfortable wearing a bathing suit in public.

I was a little nervous taking off my clothes in public and standing there with all my flaws for people to see. But I did take comfort in the fact that everyone else's flaws were also on display - strength in numbers, so to speak. Once the run started and the throng (no, not "thong"!) of Speedo-clad runners started to make its way through the downtown streets, all thoughts of "How do I look?" went out of my head. Most of the people out Christmas shopping clapped and smiled in approval. They even moved aside to let us pass (some even took photos on their camera phones) and cars honked in support of our efforts.

But I guess the most enlightening (and liberating) thing of all was how I was probably less self-conscious of how I looked running around in my bathing suit than my 30-year-old, size-8 running partner who could not stop freaking out about how horrible she looked in a bathing suit. And I guess the reason why I got so pissed at her whining is because I know that by judging herself so harshly meant that she was likely judging everyone else there (including me), too.

I wanted to say to her, "Lookit... you have nothing to be embarassed about. You have a great body - heck, a body that any woman would be happy to have. Nobody is judging you other than yourself. Nobody is probably looking at you at all! So shut the fuck up and run!"

And then I realized that I could have very likely said those same words to myself.

So, for that reason, I feel liberated. I slayed a huge dragon yesterday and feel like I have turned the corner in improving my body image. I mean, if I can don a bathing suit and run semi-naked through the streets of THE ritziest shopping district in Toronto on THE busiest shopping day of the year, then clearly I have nothing left to be embarrassed about.

***********

Friday's dinner and party afterwards was outstanding. I haven't danced that much in YEARS! I almost feel like with each passing birthday I become more and more what I am meant to be and come into myself all that much more. Although lubricated with some lovely Pinot Noir at dinner and some beer at the party afterwards, I just let my hair down and danced like nobody was watching.

I also had two more lovely surpises this weekend: Friday's Birthday Weigh-in was 167.2 and Saturday's was 167.0! Woo!! Forgot to weigh in this morning, but I will tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath to still be in the 167s, though.

???

Anyone know why my sidebar is so far down the right side of the page?? And I also noticed that I no longer have the ability to edit the time of my post before I post it. Confused!!

Week in Review

I can't believe I haven't updated since Sunday! Baaaaad, blogger! I was reading everyone else's blogs, but for some reason never thought to post an update myself.

Monday: Didn't get to yoga because H wasn't able to go. Plan B was to swim - I even brought my swim gear to work because I suspected that yoga wasn't going to happen and I wanted to be sure I had my gear with me. In the end, I also bailed on the swim. I had to lug my knapsack plus my computer, a projector, flip charts and my purse on the streetcar. I was almost home when I realized that I had left my keys in the lock of my desk drawer! Normally, I lock up my laptop in my desk, take the keys and head home. But since I took my computer with me, I totally forgot them. I knew that H was at home because I had just talked to her, so I called her and asked her to meet me at my place with my spare keys. In the end it all worked out.

Tuesday: I was working off site (hence the need for the laptop, projector and flip charts) for the day. Class was uneventful. That evening, we played our final floor hockey game and lost a very close and hard-fought game. I got wacked on the big toe with a stick, so I was hobbling a bit. Didn't get to bed until midnight (yawn).

Wednesday: Day two of training. Again, uneventful. My toe was ACHING, though. I had to wear my flattest, most comfortable shoes because the pressure under my big toenail was excrutiatingly painful. I was worried that I might not be able to run that evening. But by the time I got to the store the pressure had eased a bit. Besides, the toe box in my running shoes is quite large, so there were no issues. I had an OUTSTANDING run that night. We did a 6K run (1K warm-up, 3K tempo, 2K cool-down). I ran the 3K tempo in 16 minutes, which means a 5:20/km pace - very fast for me. Normally that's the pace I can run for a mile, not 3K. So, very happy with that all around.

Today: I had a lovely surprise on the scales this morning: 167.8! It'd been a while since I had seen that number, so I was quite happy. Not that I should allow my mood to be dictated by some arbitrary number, but that's where I am right now. I kind of goofed off at work today. I had a meeting in the morning and I did do some work, but not as much as I should have. After work, we had a charity poker tournament to raise money for our United Way campaign. It was $20 but since there were only 10 of us, the pot to the winner was only $50 (with $30 for 2nd and $20 for 3rd). I ended up in the final four, which doesn't add up to anything. But it was fun. I also took today as my "off" day from exercise, which means NO EXCUSES for getting to the gym tomorrow.

I probably won't get a chance to post another entry until some time on Saturday afternoon as it's going to be a busy couple of days. Tomorrow is my birthday (42 years young) and I'm going out for dinner with some friends and then to a Christmas party for my running club.

On Saturday, I'll probably ride my bike in the morning (on my trainer) and then I have this crazy run to do in the afternoon. My friends and I are doing the Santa Speedo Run, which means that we are going to don our finest swimsuits, running shoes and Santa hats and run through one of the most chi-chi shopping areas in the city! Oh boy, what have I gotten myself into! I'll probably still be hung over from Friday night, so that will help. I'm getting together with the BC in the evening to celebrate my BD since she's not getting back into town until late in the day on Friday.

That's the plan for now. Have a lovely weekend, all!

Thanks to Flo for this link. My friends and I used to try to figure out what kind of dog we were. I used to tell KH that she was like a Border Collie because she was so industrious and CL is like a Jack Russell because she can't sit still and talks before she thinks. J thinks that I have the temperament of a Huskie, but that one wasn't on the list (maybe Malamut is a close relative). Turns out I'm a Lab! It was the most popular, actually, representing about 30% of respondents.


What Common Breed of Dog Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

So, that's it then.

I had a decent run this morning (12K). My legs were feeling like lead when I first started out, but then I felt better as I got warmed up. I've fallen off the food journalling wagon a bit lately. I was down to 168.8 on Friday, but I ate a fair bit this weekend, so I don't know what things will look like on Monday. Oh well, we'll see. I'd like to not GAIN weight between now and January.

I had a pretty good weekend. Friday was drinks with coworkers right after work then a social with one of my running clubs. It was great to meet some people in person whom I've only ever "met" on-line.

On Saturday I did laundry and then met up with CL and KL for a swim (1600m). I went shopping (for myself) in the afternoon and then raced home to do a quick workout on my (old) bike before heading out to meet some other friends for dinner to celebrate our birthdays (there are a bunch of us with BDs in December). Drank lychee martinis - yum! Phew. Busy day!

After today's run and breakfast I did a bit of shopping (two more Christmas gifts) and bought the supplies I need to make shortbread cookies. Batch #1 (66 cookies, minus 2 I've eaten - needed to make sure they were edible before I give them away) is done. I'll make another batch later in the week for the BC to take to a cookie exchange next weekend. These cookies are awesome and keep beautifully as long as they're in a tin, so I can make them ahead. But I also have to get them out of my house ASAP or I will seriously eat them all!

The Life I Wanted

When I was in university I had a friend who, at the time, I thought had the perfect life. B's life was like a beer commercial: tons of friends, party weekends at the cottage, and just a generally full life. I used to sit back in envy of her life and wish that I had a life like that.

I wasted most of my twenties sitting on the sidelines, feeling "less than" and eating away the pain of an unfulfilled existence.

Flash forward to yesterday... I was grabbing my keys as I was heading out the door to meet my friends for a run. All of a sudden the fullness of my life flashed in front of me. Earlier in the day I had been mildly stressing about all the social events I have to go to over the next two weekends. I also made a list of all the birthday cards I have to buy in the next couple of days for all the friends who are having birthdays within the next three to four weeks (about a dozen).

But in that moment as I rushed out the door it came to me: I have the life I always wanted. And it turned up without me even noticing it.

*******

Well, I think I might have found my exercise mojo. I don't know if I've found the whole thing, but I've found part of it. I had an outstanding run last night. I had planned to go out with a group that was doing a 5K tempo run, but when I got there I didn't really care for the route they were doing, so I opted for an easier run with a couple of other friends. Once we got out there, the pace was pretty quick for me, but it felt good. Just as I was about to turn off and head back to where we'd started (about 30-min in), my friend SM convinced me to go just a little further. Next thing I knew, I had run just over 8K in about 50 minutes. I felt sooooooo good when it was over (not that it was over, but just great for having done it).

I got off work a little early today, so I was able to pick my new bike up from the store. It still doesn't have any pedals (they're on order), so I can't ride it just yet. Man, it's just KILLING ME to see her sitting there in the hallway next to her sisters and I can't even put her on the trainer for a ride. This evening, I got on the old Queen Bee for what will likely be her farewell tour over the next week or so. I'm going to keep her, but I'll be spending more and more time on Vroom Hilda in the coming months.

Workout stats for November:

Running: 97 km
Cycling: 149.10 km
Swimming: 1.80 km
Yoga: 1:30
Floor Hockey: 4x55-minute games
Strength: 1hr, 50min
Elliptical Trainer: 9.09 km

Year-to-date stats:

Total run in 2005 (to date): 858.69km
Total cycled in 2005 (to date): 2,673.05km

Total weight lost since Jan: approx. 15 pounds