Jeez... no offence to the young'uns, but I'm feeling really old right now. One of my good friends is turning 30 this weekend and I'm going to a surprise party for her tonight. Thirty! Holy crap that seems young! For the most part, the difference in our ages is not that big of a deal. She's the youngest in her family (by 8 years), so she's used to being around "older" people.
But it got me to thinking about my own 30th birthday, nearly 12 years ago. I was in such a horrible place back then. I was finally living on my own, having had room-mates since I left university. I had a ton of debt and was finding it hard to make ends meet. I had a crappy job at a company that I actually really liked, which made it bearable. But I was very unhappy and VERY overweight. I actually cringe when I look at photos of myself from back then.
I didn't realize it at the time, but I had been feeling stressed about turning 30 for two full years beforehand. And it took another 2-3 years after turning 30 to get out of my funk.
Things I figured out by 40 that I wish I had known at 30:
1. That I don't have to have it all figured out right this minute
2. That everything bad that happens isn't the end of the world
3. That I will always have lessons to learn
4. That no experience is wasted if a lesson can be learned from it
5. That the best is yet to come
6. That everyone else is struggling, just like me
7. That everything and anything is possible
8. That I'm actually quite athletic
9. How much losing weight changed my life in ways that I never expected it would
10. That I would look and feel younger at 40 than I did at 30
Happy birthday, CL!
Friday, July 29, 2005
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Joy and Pain
A little Bundle of Joy in the form of the new !KEA catalogue arrived in the mail today. Oooooooo, I love browsing though that. I took it with me to the laundromat to help pass the time. Now that the closing of my condo is getting nearer, I am getting into nesting mode again. And that's only going to increase over the coming months. I'm looking forward to planning and designing my new space.
I have a pain in my left hip. I think it's the hip flexor, or some other muscle/tendon that is on the outside of my hip, up high. I had been aware of a small pain in that area for a few weeks, but it was always managable. After 30 minutes of running it started to feel quite tender, so I only ran a bit further and walked the rest of the way. All last night it was screaming with pain. I took some ASA and iced it, but it was still very sore this morning. I took some more ASA and opted not to ride my bike to work. I was still hobbling around the office all day. I'm now sitting on the couch with an ice-pack on my hip. It doesn't feel like it's helping much. I hope I'm OK for the race on Sunday. I guess it just means that I have to take it easy for the next couple of days. I've been a total sloth this week. I ran for 40 minutes on Sunday and 37 minutes last night and that's ALL the exercise I've done! Ack! I've got a big day ahead of me on Sunday, so I don't feel too bad about it.
We had a bit of a bomb dropped on us at work today. A few months ago we got a new SEVP and SVP. Well, today the SVP announced some re-organization and my boss (the Ironman VP) is now out of a job. He just left on vacation last night as he's running a marathon in Switzerland this weekend. I was in such shock that I was nearly in tears. He's staying on for about another month to see if there's another position for him in the bank, but I don't know that we'll actually see him in the office. And then I found out that one of the other Directors that I get along with and who is a big supporter of mine has also resigned and is leaving in two weeks. Oh, and the admin assistant who did stuff for me P/T is also leaving. So now it's just me responsible for all things having to do with training. And I don't even know what our long-term plans/strategy will be, so who knows what I'll be doing come October. My head hurts. One of the Directors invited everyone in the department out for drinks after work today, so that helped to take the edge off a bit (we actually left the office at 3:30 and went to the patio bar downstairs). Did I mention my head hurts?
Is it Friday yet?
I have a pain in my left hip. I think it's the hip flexor, or some other muscle/tendon that is on the outside of my hip, up high. I had been aware of a small pain in that area for a few weeks, but it was always managable. After 30 minutes of running it started to feel quite tender, so I only ran a bit further and walked the rest of the way. All last night it was screaming with pain. I took some ASA and iced it, but it was still very sore this morning. I took some more ASA and opted not to ride my bike to work. I was still hobbling around the office all day. I'm now sitting on the couch with an ice-pack on my hip. It doesn't feel like it's helping much. I hope I'm OK for the race on Sunday. I guess it just means that I have to take it easy for the next couple of days. I've been a total sloth this week. I ran for 40 minutes on Sunday and 37 minutes last night and that's ALL the exercise I've done! Ack! I've got a big day ahead of me on Sunday, so I don't feel too bad about it.
We had a bit of a bomb dropped on us at work today. A few months ago we got a new SEVP and SVP. Well, today the SVP announced some re-organization and my boss (the Ironman VP) is now out of a job. He just left on vacation last night as he's running a marathon in Switzerland this weekend. I was in such shock that I was nearly in tears. He's staying on for about another month to see if there's another position for him in the bank, but I don't know that we'll actually see him in the office. And then I found out that one of the other Directors that I get along with and who is a big supporter of mine has also resigned and is leaving in two weeks. Oh, and the admin assistant who did stuff for me P/T is also leaving. So now it's just me responsible for all things having to do with training. And I don't even know what our long-term plans/strategy will be, so who knows what I'll be doing come October. My head hurts. One of the Directors invited everyone in the department out for drinks after work today, so that helped to take the edge off a bit (we actually left the office at 3:30 and went to the patio bar downstairs). Did I mention my head hurts?
Is it Friday yet?
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
On Guilt, Perfection and Perception
I promised you Guilt. You're getting Perfection and Perception as a bonus.
Last week, I met up with a friend for dinner and a walk through my local Jazz Street Festival. We had a lovely time, yet over dinner she confessed to me that she had been seeing a psychologist because of severe anxiety she had been feeling. After describing her feelings and behaviour, the doctor suggested that she might actually have an eating disorder. She was both shocked and then embarrassed about this.
Now, when I say “eating disorder”, that conjures up images of rail-thin women depriving themselves of food. My friend is neither rail-thin nor overweight. She, like most women, has her ups and downs with respect to weight and, at about 5’6”, weighs around 130-140, which is what I would consider “normal”. What she described to me was her inability to control her eating at certain times. Like many Type-A people, she had this “all or nothing” approach to things; there’s no such thing as moderation. She eats uncontrollably and then, spurred on by feelings of guilt, deprives herself of food to “regain control”.
Experts agree that eating disorders are generally about issues of control – meaning that it’s a symptom people exhibit when they feel out of control in certain aspects of their lives, so they attempt to self-control to compensate.
But the interesting thing about our conversation had to do with the incredible feelings of guilt she had over her behaviour. Besides being embarrassed by it, she felt extremely guilty about it. “What do you have to feel guilty about?” I asked. To which she replied, “That I am unable to control myself. I should be able to control myself.” Ahhhh, so that’s what it’s all about.
That’s when I started to think about the role that guilt plays in our lives. Guilt is a response we feel when we behave (or think) in a way that is less than perfect. How crazy is that?! Why do so many of us expect perfection from ourselves when the vast majority of us would say that we don’t expect perfection from others?
For me, it manifests itself this way: I am feeling bad (usually unfulfilled) about myself in some way, so I eat (or over-eat). Then, the feelings of guilt over having “caved” and not having been able to control myself kick in. In order to stifle that feeling, I eat even more. For me, eating is a way of avoiding feelings. I just stuff myself, so that makes it impossible to feel anything (or maybe it just provides a short-term distraction).
Someone recently wrote about the concept of self-parenting (Wendy, maybe?), and the downside to this behaviour is that children always rebel against authority – that’s their raison d’être. So it goes to figure that if we are self-parenting, that we will rebel against our internal parent. But being the grown-ups that we are, we feel tremendous guilt about our rebellion and lack of self-control.
So, what do we do about this, then?
Well, I think it might start with giving up (surrendering is probably a better word) the idea that we have to strive to be perfect. Or that we even CAN be perfect. We know this intellectually, but for some reason we still keep trying. [ What was it that Einstein said about insanity? That it’s the act of doing the same thing over and over and somehow expecting different results.] I think that on some deep level we have been given the message that we are not entitled to unconditional love – that love is dependant upon perfection. And that the closer we are to perfect, the more deserving we are of love. Because, bottom line, isn’t love what we all crave?
And each of us has a different interpretation of what the expression of love should look like. To some degree, it’s a demonstration that we are accepted for who we are, exactly as we are, flaws and all. For each of us that will look somewhat different in terms of the actual behaviours we are looking for from people, but the need is the same. But isn’t it ironic that we are looking for this outside of ourselves and will not simply give it to ourselves? Why are we withholding unconditional love from ourselves, yet expecting to receive it from others?
But let’s get back to guilt for a second.
Since all of this tends to have a chicken-and-egg quality to it we have to start somewhere, so I suggest that we start by eliminating feelings of guilt. And that’s no easy task. If we give up the idea that we need to be perfect, it cuts us some slack when our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are ”less than” perfect. If we can accept ourselves, in all our flawed beauty, then we are much more likely to feel accepted by others. Because, in effect, it’s not whether or not we are actually loved & accepted but whether we perceive that we are loved & accepted that matters to us. And those are two very different things.
So, now that I’ve mentioned it, what about perception?
Perception is a very powerful thing. And every experience we have in life (and our perception/reaction to it) continues to reinforce our beliefs and perceptions. Anaïs Nin said, “We do not see the world as it is; we see the world as we are.” Which stands to reason that it’s not until we change our perceptions that our experiences in the world will change.
I mentioned in an entry the other day how, once I lost weight, people seemed to treat me differently than they had before. At first that made me mad – wasn’t I the same person I was before? Was I not worthy of the same respect and attention then? But what I came to realize is that the world around me began to change in response to my new attitude towards myself. To some degree, people weren’t treating me any differently, I just perceived that they were.
When I read Wendy’s Spaghetti entry yesterday it reminded me of how I felt when I was much earlier on in my weight-loss efforts. The analogy I used was Jell-O (as opposed to spaghetti), but it’s much the same thing. Every year that goes by and all the experiences that we have serve to reinforce our beliefs about ourselves, the world and our place in it. As we begin to change our physical and mental “shapes”, the boundaries set by our perceptions start to deteriorate and we no longer have a comfort level as all the rules seemed to have changed. That’s where my Jell-O analogy came in: I felt like I was partially-set Jell-O – still essentially the same, yet not quite sure what form I was going to take; malleable and fluid, still. And still wasn’t 100% sure that I was going to like the new person I was becoming.
But I have to say now that all the torment and struggle I went through back then as I began to change was more than worth it in the end. I used to joke to myself that maybe I could “cry myself thin,” meaning that if I shed enough tears that I might lose some weight from all that water. But the reality is that I wasn’t so far off with that assessment.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is so much more to losing weight than simply eating less and exercising more. And not wanting to go to the gym or give up tasty treats is only the first level of resistance that we face. Learning to deal with the guilt of imperfection, figuring out who we are as our bodies begin to change, and ultimately changing our perceptions of ourselves, are far more challenging obstacles to overcome than any diet or exercise program will ever be.
Last week, I met up with a friend for dinner and a walk through my local Jazz Street Festival. We had a lovely time, yet over dinner she confessed to me that she had been seeing a psychologist because of severe anxiety she had been feeling. After describing her feelings and behaviour, the doctor suggested that she might actually have an eating disorder. She was both shocked and then embarrassed about this.
Now, when I say “eating disorder”, that conjures up images of rail-thin women depriving themselves of food. My friend is neither rail-thin nor overweight. She, like most women, has her ups and downs with respect to weight and, at about 5’6”, weighs around 130-140, which is what I would consider “normal”. What she described to me was her inability to control her eating at certain times. Like many Type-A people, she had this “all or nothing” approach to things; there’s no such thing as moderation. She eats uncontrollably and then, spurred on by feelings of guilt, deprives herself of food to “regain control”.
Experts agree that eating disorders are generally about issues of control – meaning that it’s a symptom people exhibit when they feel out of control in certain aspects of their lives, so they attempt to self-control to compensate.
But the interesting thing about our conversation had to do with the incredible feelings of guilt she had over her behaviour. Besides being embarrassed by it, she felt extremely guilty about it. “What do you have to feel guilty about?” I asked. To which she replied, “That I am unable to control myself. I should be able to control myself.” Ahhhh, so that’s what it’s all about.
That’s when I started to think about the role that guilt plays in our lives. Guilt is a response we feel when we behave (or think) in a way that is less than perfect. How crazy is that?! Why do so many of us expect perfection from ourselves when the vast majority of us would say that we don’t expect perfection from others?
For me, it manifests itself this way: I am feeling bad (usually unfulfilled) about myself in some way, so I eat (or over-eat). Then, the feelings of guilt over having “caved” and not having been able to control myself kick in. In order to stifle that feeling, I eat even more. For me, eating is a way of avoiding feelings. I just stuff myself, so that makes it impossible to feel anything (or maybe it just provides a short-term distraction).
Someone recently wrote about the concept of self-parenting (Wendy, maybe?), and the downside to this behaviour is that children always rebel against authority – that’s their raison d’être. So it goes to figure that if we are self-parenting, that we will rebel against our internal parent. But being the grown-ups that we are, we feel tremendous guilt about our rebellion and lack of self-control.
So, what do we do about this, then?
Well, I think it might start with giving up (surrendering is probably a better word) the idea that we have to strive to be perfect. Or that we even CAN be perfect. We know this intellectually, but for some reason we still keep trying. [ What was it that Einstein said about insanity? That it’s the act of doing the same thing over and over and somehow expecting different results.] I think that on some deep level we have been given the message that we are not entitled to unconditional love – that love is dependant upon perfection. And that the closer we are to perfect, the more deserving we are of love. Because, bottom line, isn’t love what we all crave?
And each of us has a different interpretation of what the expression of love should look like. To some degree, it’s a demonstration that we are accepted for who we are, exactly as we are, flaws and all. For each of us that will look somewhat different in terms of the actual behaviours we are looking for from people, but the need is the same. But isn’t it ironic that we are looking for this outside of ourselves and will not simply give it to ourselves? Why are we withholding unconditional love from ourselves, yet expecting to receive it from others?
But let’s get back to guilt for a second.
Since all of this tends to have a chicken-and-egg quality to it we have to start somewhere, so I suggest that we start by eliminating feelings of guilt. And that’s no easy task. If we give up the idea that we need to be perfect, it cuts us some slack when our thoughts, feelings and behaviours are ”less than” perfect. If we can accept ourselves, in all our flawed beauty, then we are much more likely to feel accepted by others. Because, in effect, it’s not whether or not we are actually loved & accepted but whether we perceive that we are loved & accepted that matters to us. And those are two very different things.
So, now that I’ve mentioned it, what about perception?
Perception is a very powerful thing. And every experience we have in life (and our perception/reaction to it) continues to reinforce our beliefs and perceptions. Anaïs Nin said, “We do not see the world as it is; we see the world as we are.” Which stands to reason that it’s not until we change our perceptions that our experiences in the world will change.
I mentioned in an entry the other day how, once I lost weight, people seemed to treat me differently than they had before. At first that made me mad – wasn’t I the same person I was before? Was I not worthy of the same respect and attention then? But what I came to realize is that the world around me began to change in response to my new attitude towards myself. To some degree, people weren’t treating me any differently, I just perceived that they were.
When I read Wendy’s Spaghetti entry yesterday it reminded me of how I felt when I was much earlier on in my weight-loss efforts. The analogy I used was Jell-O (as opposed to spaghetti), but it’s much the same thing. Every year that goes by and all the experiences that we have serve to reinforce our beliefs about ourselves, the world and our place in it. As we begin to change our physical and mental “shapes”, the boundaries set by our perceptions start to deteriorate and we no longer have a comfort level as all the rules seemed to have changed. That’s where my Jell-O analogy came in: I felt like I was partially-set Jell-O – still essentially the same, yet not quite sure what form I was going to take; malleable and fluid, still. And still wasn’t 100% sure that I was going to like the new person I was becoming.
But I have to say now that all the torment and struggle I went through back then as I began to change was more than worth it in the end. I used to joke to myself that maybe I could “cry myself thin,” meaning that if I shed enough tears that I might lose some weight from all that water. But the reality is that I wasn’t so far off with that assessment.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that there is so much more to losing weight than simply eating less and exercising more. And not wanting to go to the gym or give up tasty treats is only the first level of resistance that we face. Learning to deal with the guilt of imperfection, figuring out who we are as our bodies begin to change, and ultimately changing our perceptions of ourselves, are far more challenging obstacles to overcome than any diet or exercise program will ever be.
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
So many updates...
On Weight-loss:
Well, I managed not to gain any weight over the weekend. In fact, I’m one or two pounds down, back to where I was for my previous “New Low” of two weeks ago. I’m attributing some of that to mild dehydration, as I didn’t nearly consume enough water on Sunday or Monday considering the temperature.
The other good news is that I ate relatively well today, which is always a challenge for me after a positive weigh-in. I just have to keep it up the rest of the week now.
Before I stepped on the scales this morning I was feeling quite “thin”, so I was happy to see that this was not all in my head.
On Exercise:
Friday was my off day last week as I was traveling to Lake Placid. On Saturday, we got a bit of a late start to our ride (we were watching the Tour in the morning), so we didn’t start until the heat of the day was at full force (1PM). This was the first time that I had ridden the loop of the Ironman course since I did the race two summers ago. Last summer I rode part of it, but half of it was in reverse. This year, I got nearly the full experience (some of us opted not to do the “out-and-back” section as it was an extra 20K that we didn’t really need to do). In the end, we cycled 68K (43 miles) in just under 3 hours (of actual cycling time – we had little breaks in there that made the entire trip about 3:15-3:30). After a long bit of climbing, we had a lovely 9K descent where I got up to 71.5kph (48 mph) on my bike. Weeeeeee! I even managed to speed past some of the guys, however I outweigh most of them, so that’s not saying much (weight allows you to carry speed down a hill). There were six of us riding together (4 men, 2 women) and we had this lovely 2x3 pace line going on for about 15-20K of the ride. Each pair took a turn setting the pace (and breaking the wind) at the front, so we managed to go an average of about 30kph (19mph) for that stretch. It’s a far cry from the 45-55kph that the boys in the Tour will do, but it made for a very enjoyable ride.
On Sunday, we were up early (5AM) so that we could get to the race site to cheer everyone on. After the swim was over (more on that later), I went for a 40-min run with one of the girls. This was also on part of the run course I had done two years ago, so it brought back lots of memories.
No exercise on Monday as it was a travel day (more on that later, too).
On Food:
If I never see a $ubway sandwich again it will be too soon! I ate there three times in two days. Considering the amount of exercise (even just all the walking we did), I ate pretty well. I did cave and have B3n & J3rry’s on Saturday night and I did have an ice-cream sandwich on Sunday, but other than that I ate pretty well. Oh, except for some Hint o’ Lime tortilla chips. And Baked L@ys - couldn’t get enough of those! I think that was in response to all the salt I lost from sweating so much.
On the Race:
It was a very emotional day. We managed to see most of our friends in the water before the race. We had giant fluorescent signs with photos and slogans for each of them, which they really appreciated. Once the cannon went off at 7AM, I got a little choked up seeing all 1,988 athletes swimming at the same time. There was one woman who, when the cannon went off, started to panic and couldn’t continue with the race. Her coach jumped in the water to try to calm her down and help her out, but to no avail. How heartbreaking to go all that distance in training only to be pulled out of the water before you even get started. It was a two-loop course, so we did manage to see some of them running across the beach to start their second lap. After that, we moved over to the side of the beach where the swimmers were exiting to cheer on the last few swimmers. There is a time limit of 2:20 for the 3.8K (2.4-mile) swim. All the spectators (hundreds of us) were cheering on the last few people. The last guy was really far out with only 20 minutes to go. All the kayakers doing support for the race were following him in and every single person on the beach was screaming and encouraging him. He finally rose from the water in 2:17 (three minutes to spare) to the roar of the crowd. By this time, I was in a full-blown blubbering bawl; it was so overwhelming. Here's a shot of him coming out of the water:
This is me (on the left) with my friend V. We're holding signs for our friends who were in the race.
I then went for a run and made my way over to the halfway point of the bike called the “hot corner”. This is a series of quick turns where the athletes have to slow down a bit to make it through. We screamed like fiends for our friends as they all came through with smiles on their faces. After poking around the merchandise tent, I got changed and then met up with the rest of the group on the bike course. We stood half way up the final climb (nicknamed: Papa Bear) with a CD player and signs of encouragement. My sign read: “Remember, you paid for this!” and it got quite a few laughs and smiles, which was what it was intended to do. All the athletes seemed energized by our presence. Many of them said, ”Thanks” or “You’re the best” as they rode through. The most inspiring guy was riding up the hill using only one leg! Something must have happened along the way that made it impossible to use his other leg, so he just pedaled along with one – and that’s mighty hard to do on a flat road, let alone on a hill! The bike course is a two-loop grueling and hilly course totaling 180K (112 miles). The cutoff time for the bike is 10 hours and 30 minutes from the start of the race.
We stayed there for about two hours in total and then went over to watch the folks begin their run. We sat half way up a short, but very steep, climb that the athletes do on their way in from their first loop of the run course (it’s a two-loop course). There was a guy at the top of the hill shouting encouragement at athletes through a megaphone. They all had race number bibs with their names on them, so we could cheer on total strangers by name, which was cool. We saw all our friends a couple of times and they all looked to be having a great day.
We then went to relax for a bit until we were within 30 minutes of our friend Paula’s predicted finishing time. It was a good thing we got there early because she had a blazing fast race and finished within minutes of us getting there. Her finishing time was 12 hours and 37 minutes – a full 25 minutes faster than she did the race last year! Michael, a first time Ironman, finished only a few minutes later in 12:45 – he was ecstatic! Then came Sarah at 13:33 and John (Paula’s fiancé) at 14:00. At first we thought he must have had a bad day, but as it turned out, he had sacrificed his own personal time by staying with a friend on the run who was struggling. John was on his second lap while Ron was just starting his first. Ron had just made the bike cutoff time (by a mere five minutes), so he only had six hours left to finish the marathon (i.e., by midnight). Unfortunately, when he completed his first loop in three hours and saw that he had a mere three hours left to finish, he called it a day. He had been having stomach problems and knew that there was no way he’d be able to finish in time. Although devastated, he’s vowed to sign up again for next year!
Ron’s story is actually quite inspiring. He’s a friend of Paula’s whom she met when she was a nurse for a supervised medical weight-loss study several years ago. Ron had weighed more than 400 pounds at that time and after losing 200 pounds, he decided to follow in Paula’s footsteps and attempt the Ironman. He was still very hefty at well over 230 pounds on race day, but he was determined to do it. In fact, one of the cable TV channels was filming him for a story they were doing. He felt a lot of pressure to finish for that reason, but he’s a strong guy and I know he’ll be back at it again next year.
On a Stupid Thing I Did:
After our bike ride on Saturday I had the bikes on the rack on the back of my car. I was backing into our parking spot at the campsite and couldn’t see out the window. All of a sudden I hear this loud “POW”. I looked in my rearview mirror to see that my back window had shattered from the pressure of the bike rack as I had been trying to back into a tree! I was remarkably calm in the face of this mishap. I just cleaned it up the best I could and someone gave me plastic to cover it over. That meant that I would have to find a place to fix it before the long (6+-hour) drive home. After much humming and hawing, I decided to drive two hours to Cornwall (across the border in Ontario) and have it fixed there. The first place I called said they didn’t have my window in stock and that I’d have to go to Ottawa or Montréal if I wanted it fixed the same day. The second place I called said that they didn’t have one, but that they could get one for me by 1PM that day – perfect! We left Lake Placid around 10AM and it’s about a 2-hour drive to Cornwall, so that would work out well. I dropped the car off at 12:15 and he said he’d call me when it was done. That caused a 3-hour delay in our trip (and we had to kill three hours in that boring little town) before the final 4+-hour ride home. We were finally back on the road by 3:30 and after dropping my friend Davelle off at home, I got to my place just after 8PM. I was bagged.
On Camping:
This was my second “camping” trip of the summer. We didn’t really camp as we only ate breakfast at the site and never built a fire or anything. We did sleep in tents, so I guess that counts. But I had a lousy sleep the first two nights – the kind of sleep where you never feel like you ever fell asleep (although you must have at some point). Part of it was due to the fact that I was sharing a tent with someone, which I don’t really like doing. Finally, since I was so bagged from not sleeping the first two nights, I managed to sleep fairly well the third night (until my tent-mate woke me up at 2AM when she got up to go to the bathroom). I had been sleeping so well at that point, so I was pissed. And she kept stomping her feet (maybe to get the dirt off before coming back into the tent), which startled me awake.
On The Tour:
Oh, Lance! Congratulations! As if there was any doubt you’d win your 7th (and final) Tour de France. You’ve done so much for the sport. I hope that people will continue to follow the race in your absence.
My friends and I packed ourselves into a small corner of a local hotel bar (along with 100+ other people) to watch the final time trial on Saturday morning. It was a great spectacle and Lance won the stage to cement his victory. Poor old Rassmussen – he just couldn’t get it together after his first crash, three bike changes and second crash. He dropped from third to seventh overall (but still won the polka-dot jersey as the best hill climber).
Note to self: Must get to France at some point to watch the Tour or, better yet, ride one of the stages (not during the race with the athletes, mind you).
On My Upcoming Race:
This Sunday, I have the second of my three planned races for the summer. This one is also a triathlon in Kingston, ON. It’s a 2K (1.25-mile) swim, 56K (35-mile) bike and 15K (9.4-mile) run. The first time I did this race back in 2002 I finished in 4 hours and 44 minutes. Last year, I didn’t finish the race because I bonked on the bike and couldn’t do the run. This year, I have two goals: 1) To avenge last year’s DNF (did not finish), and 2) To beat my previous time of 4:44. Four hours and 30 minutes would be a good goal to work towards. That year, my swim was 51:20 (including transition from swim to bike), my bike time was 2:08 and my run time was 1:45 (including bike-to-run transition). I’ll be happy to keep my swim time the same. I’d love to take 5 minutes off my bike time and I’m sure I can take 10 minutes off my run time. All of this really depends on the weather gods smiling on me. If it’s rainy, my bike time will suffer. If it’s hot and muggy, my run time will suffer.
On My Plans For This Week:
I did not work out yesterday as it was a travel day (although I did walk about 3K while waiting for my car to be fixed). Since I was so bagged from my lack of sleep and long drive this weekend, I opted to sleep in instead of going to the gym this morning. My plan for this evening was to ride my bike, but there are thunderstorms looming, so I think I'll bail. Tomorrow, I’m going to ride to the gym and do 30 minutes on the elliptical before work. After work, I’m going to swim in the lake for about 30 minutes. Not sure about Thursday and Friday yet – it all depends on how Tuesday and Wednesday go (and the weather). We’re leaving Saturday morning for Kingston, so hopefully I’ll be able to get a run in when we get there. It’s CL’s 30th birthday on Sunday (race day), so we’re planning a little post-race celebration. And the place we’re staying is right on a lake, so hopefully we’ll be able to go swimming after the race to cool off.
On What to Look Forward to Tomorrow:
I had an interesting conversation with my friend MS last Thursday night about guilt. I’ll report my thoughts on that here.
Well, I managed not to gain any weight over the weekend. In fact, I’m one or two pounds down, back to where I was for my previous “New Low” of two weeks ago. I’m attributing some of that to mild dehydration, as I didn’t nearly consume enough water on Sunday or Monday considering the temperature.
The other good news is that I ate relatively well today, which is always a challenge for me after a positive weigh-in. I just have to keep it up the rest of the week now.
Before I stepped on the scales this morning I was feeling quite “thin”, so I was happy to see that this was not all in my head.
On Exercise:
Friday was my off day last week as I was traveling to Lake Placid. On Saturday, we got a bit of a late start to our ride (we were watching the Tour in the morning), so we didn’t start until the heat of the day was at full force (1PM). This was the first time that I had ridden the loop of the Ironman course since I did the race two summers ago. Last summer I rode part of it, but half of it was in reverse. This year, I got nearly the full experience (some of us opted not to do the “out-and-back” section as it was an extra 20K that we didn’t really need to do). In the end, we cycled 68K (43 miles) in just under 3 hours (of actual cycling time – we had little breaks in there that made the entire trip about 3:15-3:30). After a long bit of climbing, we had a lovely 9K descent where I got up to 71.5kph (48 mph) on my bike. Weeeeeee! I even managed to speed past some of the guys, however I outweigh most of them, so that’s not saying much (weight allows you to carry speed down a hill). There were six of us riding together (4 men, 2 women) and we had this lovely 2x3 pace line going on for about 15-20K of the ride. Each pair took a turn setting the pace (and breaking the wind) at the front, so we managed to go an average of about 30kph (19mph) for that stretch. It’s a far cry from the 45-55kph that the boys in the Tour will do, but it made for a very enjoyable ride.
On Sunday, we were up early (5AM) so that we could get to the race site to cheer everyone on. After the swim was over (more on that later), I went for a 40-min run with one of the girls. This was also on part of the run course I had done two years ago, so it brought back lots of memories.
No exercise on Monday as it was a travel day (more on that later, too).
On Food:
If I never see a $ubway sandwich again it will be too soon! I ate there three times in two days. Considering the amount of exercise (even just all the walking we did), I ate pretty well. I did cave and have B3n & J3rry’s on Saturday night and I did have an ice-cream sandwich on Sunday, but other than that I ate pretty well. Oh, except for some Hint o’ Lime tortilla chips. And Baked L@ys - couldn’t get enough of those! I think that was in response to all the salt I lost from sweating so much.
On the Race:
It was a very emotional day. We managed to see most of our friends in the water before the race. We had giant fluorescent signs with photos and slogans for each of them, which they really appreciated. Once the cannon went off at 7AM, I got a little choked up seeing all 1,988 athletes swimming at the same time. There was one woman who, when the cannon went off, started to panic and couldn’t continue with the race. Her coach jumped in the water to try to calm her down and help her out, but to no avail. How heartbreaking to go all that distance in training only to be pulled out of the water before you even get started. It was a two-loop course, so we did manage to see some of them running across the beach to start their second lap. After that, we moved over to the side of the beach where the swimmers were exiting to cheer on the last few swimmers. There is a time limit of 2:20 for the 3.8K (2.4-mile) swim. All the spectators (hundreds of us) were cheering on the last few people. The last guy was really far out with only 20 minutes to go. All the kayakers doing support for the race were following him in and every single person on the beach was screaming and encouraging him. He finally rose from the water in 2:17 (three minutes to spare) to the roar of the crowd. By this time, I was in a full-blown blubbering bawl; it was so overwhelming. Here's a shot of him coming out of the water:
This is me (on the left) with my friend V. We're holding signs for our friends who were in the race.
I then went for a run and made my way over to the halfway point of the bike called the “hot corner”. This is a series of quick turns where the athletes have to slow down a bit to make it through. We screamed like fiends for our friends as they all came through with smiles on their faces. After poking around the merchandise tent, I got changed and then met up with the rest of the group on the bike course. We stood half way up the final climb (nicknamed: Papa Bear) with a CD player and signs of encouragement. My sign read: “Remember, you paid for this!” and it got quite a few laughs and smiles, which was what it was intended to do. All the athletes seemed energized by our presence. Many of them said, ”Thanks” or “You’re the best” as they rode through. The most inspiring guy was riding up the hill using only one leg! Something must have happened along the way that made it impossible to use his other leg, so he just pedaled along with one – and that’s mighty hard to do on a flat road, let alone on a hill! The bike course is a two-loop grueling and hilly course totaling 180K (112 miles). The cutoff time for the bike is 10 hours and 30 minutes from the start of the race.
We stayed there for about two hours in total and then went over to watch the folks begin their run. We sat half way up a short, but very steep, climb that the athletes do on their way in from their first loop of the run course (it’s a two-loop course). There was a guy at the top of the hill shouting encouragement at athletes through a megaphone. They all had race number bibs with their names on them, so we could cheer on total strangers by name, which was cool. We saw all our friends a couple of times and they all looked to be having a great day.
We then went to relax for a bit until we were within 30 minutes of our friend Paula’s predicted finishing time. It was a good thing we got there early because she had a blazing fast race and finished within minutes of us getting there. Her finishing time was 12 hours and 37 minutes – a full 25 minutes faster than she did the race last year! Michael, a first time Ironman, finished only a few minutes later in 12:45 – he was ecstatic! Then came Sarah at 13:33 and John (Paula’s fiancé) at 14:00. At first we thought he must have had a bad day, but as it turned out, he had sacrificed his own personal time by staying with a friend on the run who was struggling. John was on his second lap while Ron was just starting his first. Ron had just made the bike cutoff time (by a mere five minutes), so he only had six hours left to finish the marathon (i.e., by midnight). Unfortunately, when he completed his first loop in three hours and saw that he had a mere three hours left to finish, he called it a day. He had been having stomach problems and knew that there was no way he’d be able to finish in time. Although devastated, he’s vowed to sign up again for next year!
Ron’s story is actually quite inspiring. He’s a friend of Paula’s whom she met when she was a nurse for a supervised medical weight-loss study several years ago. Ron had weighed more than 400 pounds at that time and after losing 200 pounds, he decided to follow in Paula’s footsteps and attempt the Ironman. He was still very hefty at well over 230 pounds on race day, but he was determined to do it. In fact, one of the cable TV channels was filming him for a story they were doing. He felt a lot of pressure to finish for that reason, but he’s a strong guy and I know he’ll be back at it again next year.
On a Stupid Thing I Did:
After our bike ride on Saturday I had the bikes on the rack on the back of my car. I was backing into our parking spot at the campsite and couldn’t see out the window. All of a sudden I hear this loud “POW”. I looked in my rearview mirror to see that my back window had shattered from the pressure of the bike rack as I had been trying to back into a tree! I was remarkably calm in the face of this mishap. I just cleaned it up the best I could and someone gave me plastic to cover it over. That meant that I would have to find a place to fix it before the long (6+-hour) drive home. After much humming and hawing, I decided to drive two hours to Cornwall (across the border in Ontario) and have it fixed there. The first place I called said they didn’t have my window in stock and that I’d have to go to Ottawa or Montréal if I wanted it fixed the same day. The second place I called said that they didn’t have one, but that they could get one for me by 1PM that day – perfect! We left Lake Placid around 10AM and it’s about a 2-hour drive to Cornwall, so that would work out well. I dropped the car off at 12:15 and he said he’d call me when it was done. That caused a 3-hour delay in our trip (and we had to kill three hours in that boring little town) before the final 4+-hour ride home. We were finally back on the road by 3:30 and after dropping my friend Davelle off at home, I got to my place just after 8PM. I was bagged.
On Camping:
This was my second “camping” trip of the summer. We didn’t really camp as we only ate breakfast at the site and never built a fire or anything. We did sleep in tents, so I guess that counts. But I had a lousy sleep the first two nights – the kind of sleep where you never feel like you ever fell asleep (although you must have at some point). Part of it was due to the fact that I was sharing a tent with someone, which I don’t really like doing. Finally, since I was so bagged from not sleeping the first two nights, I managed to sleep fairly well the third night (until my tent-mate woke me up at 2AM when she got up to go to the bathroom). I had been sleeping so well at that point, so I was pissed. And she kept stomping her feet (maybe to get the dirt off before coming back into the tent), which startled me awake.
On The Tour:
Oh, Lance! Congratulations! As if there was any doubt you’d win your 7th (and final) Tour de France. You’ve done so much for the sport. I hope that people will continue to follow the race in your absence.
My friends and I packed ourselves into a small corner of a local hotel bar (along with 100+ other people) to watch the final time trial on Saturday morning. It was a great spectacle and Lance won the stage to cement his victory. Poor old Rassmussen – he just couldn’t get it together after his first crash, three bike changes and second crash. He dropped from third to seventh overall (but still won the polka-dot jersey as the best hill climber).
Note to self: Must get to France at some point to watch the Tour or, better yet, ride one of the stages (not during the race with the athletes, mind you).
On My Upcoming Race:
This Sunday, I have the second of my three planned races for the summer. This one is also a triathlon in Kingston, ON. It’s a 2K (1.25-mile) swim, 56K (35-mile) bike and 15K (9.4-mile) run. The first time I did this race back in 2002 I finished in 4 hours and 44 minutes. Last year, I didn’t finish the race because I bonked on the bike and couldn’t do the run. This year, I have two goals: 1) To avenge last year’s DNF (did not finish), and 2) To beat my previous time of 4:44. Four hours and 30 minutes would be a good goal to work towards. That year, my swim was 51:20 (including transition from swim to bike), my bike time was 2:08 and my run time was 1:45 (including bike-to-run transition). I’ll be happy to keep my swim time the same. I’d love to take 5 minutes off my bike time and I’m sure I can take 10 minutes off my run time. All of this really depends on the weather gods smiling on me. If it’s rainy, my bike time will suffer. If it’s hot and muggy, my run time will suffer.
On My Plans For This Week:
I did not work out yesterday as it was a travel day (although I did walk about 3K while waiting for my car to be fixed). Since I was so bagged from my lack of sleep and long drive this weekend, I opted to sleep in instead of going to the gym this morning. My plan for this evening was to ride my bike, but there are thunderstorms looming, so I think I'll bail. Tomorrow, I’m going to ride to the gym and do 30 minutes on the elliptical before work. After work, I’m going to swim in the lake for about 30 minutes. Not sure about Thursday and Friday yet – it all depends on how Tuesday and Wednesday go (and the weather). We’re leaving Saturday morning for Kingston, so hopefully I’ll be able to get a run in when we get there. It’s CL’s 30th birthday on Sunday (race day), so we’re planning a little post-race celebration. And the place we’re staying is right on a lake, so hopefully we’ll be able to go swimming after the race to cool off.
On What to Look Forward to Tomorrow:
I had an interesting conversation with my friend MS last Thursday night about guilt. I’ll report my thoughts on that here.
Monday, July 25, 2005
So tired...
Just got home from Lake Placid. So much to tell, but no time to tell it right now. Watch this space tomorrow for a full update of my little weekend adventure. Didn't sleep much (and not for good reasons), so I'm off to bed now. Sweet dreams!
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Resistance and 10 Things
One of the components of the methodology I teach at work is Change Management. One of the principles of Change Management is the concept of resistance. I think that most of us are aware that change is difficult and that we face all kinds of resistance - as much from ourselves as from others - when going through change.
One of the interesting things about change is that it is always accompanied by resistance, even if it's a positively-perceived change. The stages of resistance are different for postive change than for negatively-perceived change, but it is resistance none the less. We've all heard of variations on the "Denial-Bargaining-Anger-Depression-Acceptance" formula of grieving (which applies in cases of change), but there are different, yet equally powerful, stages for positively-perceived change (I'm sorry, I can't reference the source on this as I don't know off the top of my head):
Uninformed Optimism: "When I lose [insert appropriate number] pounds, my life will be perfect and I will be happy."
Informed Pessimism: "You want me to eat what? You want me to exercise how much? I can't do that. I'll never be able to do that. I might as well just give up now."
Hopeful Realism: "OK. I've stayed on plan with my eating. I've been to the gym [insert number here] times this week. Maybe I can actually do this!"
Informed Optimism: "Wow! I've lost [insert number here] pounds! I'm seeing results - maybe I really can do this!"
Rewarding Completion: "I'm really proud of myself for my achievement. I love my new body and my new lifestyle. Sorry, no time to talk... off for a run now."
The thing about these stages is that we don't move through them effortlessly. The length of time each of us spends in a stage is dependant on how well we deal with all the issues in that stage. The other thing is that we can often go back through the stages and repeat them over and over again.
And all of this is going under the assumption that you are peceiving the change as positive. Some of us see weight-loss as a negative change - we focus on all the things we are going to have to give up and how our life is going to be so hard and deprived and devoid of enjoyment. So although on the surface we think it's a good thing, deep down we may be feeling the resistance associated with negative change.
Put all those things together and it's no wonder we have such a tough time with weight loss and its associated lifestyle changes.
+++++++++
10 Things I observed as I got thinner:
One of the interesting things about change is that it is always accompanied by resistance, even if it's a positively-perceived change. The stages of resistance are different for postive change than for negatively-perceived change, but it is resistance none the less. We've all heard of variations on the "Denial-Bargaining-Anger-Depression-Acceptance" formula of grieving (which applies in cases of change), but there are different, yet equally powerful, stages for positively-perceived change (I'm sorry, I can't reference the source on this as I don't know off the top of my head):
Uninformed Optimism: "When I lose [insert appropriate number] pounds, my life will be perfect and I will be happy."
Informed Pessimism: "You want me to eat what? You want me to exercise how much? I can't do that. I'll never be able to do that. I might as well just give up now."
Hopeful Realism: "OK. I've stayed on plan with my eating. I've been to the gym [insert number here] times this week. Maybe I can actually do this!"
Informed Optimism: "Wow! I've lost [insert number here] pounds! I'm seeing results - maybe I really can do this!"
Rewarding Completion: "I'm really proud of myself for my achievement. I love my new body and my new lifestyle. Sorry, no time to talk... off for a run now."
The thing about these stages is that we don't move through them effortlessly. The length of time each of us spends in a stage is dependant on how well we deal with all the issues in that stage. The other thing is that we can often go back through the stages and repeat them over and over again.
And all of this is going under the assumption that you are peceiving the change as positive. Some of us see weight-loss as a negative change - we focus on all the things we are going to have to give up and how our life is going to be so hard and deprived and devoid of enjoyment. So although on the surface we think it's a good thing, deep down we may be feeling the resistance associated with negative change.
Put all those things together and it's no wonder we have such a tough time with weight loss and its associated lifestyle changes.
+++++++++
10 Things I observed as I got thinner:
- I felt cold a lot of the time
- I actually really enjoyed exercise
- Eating crappy food made me feel crappy, not fulfilled
- I started suffering more obvious signs of PMS
- I felt exposed
- People treated me differently, and that made me angry...
- Until I figured out that it was because I had become a different person and related more openly to people
- I realized that I wasn't as short-waisted as I had thought
- I didn't mind wearing clothes that were more form-fitting
- How much I really look like my mother
So, BethK, Trish, et. al. What were your observations?
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Tailwinds
There's nothing I like better than a good tail-wind on my bike rides. I had a lovely tail-wind this afternoon that got me home in near-record time.
I was thinking about how we all have head-winds and tail-winds in so many aspects of our lives. Today, for instance, I had a head-wind on my ride into work, but that meant that I would have the tail-wind on the way home.
Even with weight-loss it's the same: sometimes it feels like everything is flowing and effortless, like you've got a 20mph wind at your back; but sometimes it's the opposite. I've had days, weeks - heck, months! - where I've felt like I was riding uphill into the wind. Or, like in cycling, you get a head-wind and think that as soon as I turn this corner it will go away, but then you find that it's even windier going in the other direction.
The other phenomenon is that while cycling you actually always have a head-wind equal to the speed you are going. Just by the mere fact that you are moving through space, wind is generated. Sometimes, if balanced off by an equal or greater tail-wind it's barely noticeable. But other times it's a real drag.
But the one thing I have found is that cycling my way through a head-wind actually makes me stronger. It means that when I get the benefit of a tail-wind that I feel like I'm sailing along effortlessly. And as any good cyclist knows, you have to make yourself as aerodynamic as possible, which helps cut down on resistance.
Something a cycling friend of mine told me is that, when in a race and faced with a course that has both head-winds and tail-winds, it's actually during the head-winds that you should work harder and push harder. That way, you can cruise and recover with the tail-wind, still moving at a relatively fast speed.
So, when life throws you a head-wind, put your head down, get aero and work hard so that you can enjoy the ride when the wind shifts and it carries you effortlessly to your destination.
I was thinking about how we all have head-winds and tail-winds in so many aspects of our lives. Today, for instance, I had a head-wind on my ride into work, but that meant that I would have the tail-wind on the way home.
Even with weight-loss it's the same: sometimes it feels like everything is flowing and effortless, like you've got a 20mph wind at your back; but sometimes it's the opposite. I've had days, weeks - heck, months! - where I've felt like I was riding uphill into the wind. Or, like in cycling, you get a head-wind and think that as soon as I turn this corner it will go away, but then you find that it's even windier going in the other direction.
The other phenomenon is that while cycling you actually always have a head-wind equal to the speed you are going. Just by the mere fact that you are moving through space, wind is generated. Sometimes, if balanced off by an equal or greater tail-wind it's barely noticeable. But other times it's a real drag.
But the one thing I have found is that cycling my way through a head-wind actually makes me stronger. It means that when I get the benefit of a tail-wind that I feel like I'm sailing along effortlessly. And as any good cyclist knows, you have to make yourself as aerodynamic as possible, which helps cut down on resistance.
Something a cycling friend of mine told me is that, when in a race and faced with a course that has both head-winds and tail-winds, it's actually during the head-winds that you should work harder and push harder. That way, you can cruise and recover with the tail-wind, still moving at a relatively fast speed.
So, when life throws you a head-wind, put your head down, get aero and work hard so that you can enjoy the ride when the wind shifts and it carries you effortlessly to your destination.
Monday, July 18, 2005
The Race Report You've All Been Waiting For
This is a race report for my first Triathlon of the season, the Toronto Waterfront Triathlon. I've done many Tris before (including Ironman in 2003), but every race poses its own set of challenges, regardless of the distance. This one was a 750m swim, 32K (20-mile) bike, 7.5K (4.7-mile run).
Sunday morning:
I woke up before my alarm at 5:15AM to the sound of rain coming down in buckets. I immediately had flashbacks to Lake Placid in 2003 where we raced in the most unbelievably bad conditions imaginable. Today would prove to be equally challenging weather-wise, although (thankfully) on a much shorter and less challenging course.
The rain did subside for a while, but my plans to ride down to the race site were put on hold because I didn’t want to be soaked from puddles before I even got there. My friends H and P picked me up and then P dropped us off and we got settled in transition. Half of our age-group's bike rack was under water. We were lucky to be the second and third people there, so we got a good spot. In the end, there weren’t that many people in our age group, so there was plenty of room for all of us on the half of the rack that wasn’t under water.
The race itself was delayed, first by 30 minutes, then by another 15 minutes, then by a final 15 minutes, meaning that it eventually started 60 minutes late. This was to ensure safety since there was so much water on the roads and so many puddles (small lakes, actually). I tried to keep my gear dry under a garbage bag I had brought, but at times before the race the rain came down so hard it was almost unavoidable. My start wave (Women 40+ and Men 50+) was the last to go and didn’t start until 30 minutes after the first wave. They staggered the waves by 12 minutes or so because they wanted to regulate the number of people on the bike course simultaneously. I was only worried about this because I thought it might get really hot for my race, which would be a big problem for me. In the end, that wasn’t a factor.
The water temperature was great (low-70s) – you could have easily swam without a wetsuit. I felt pretty good in the beginning, but the course was a weird triangle shape (we swam out on a 45-degree angle from the beach), so when I made my turn at the buoy, I got disoriented and off course a bit. I finished the swim in 16 minutes flat (by my watch), but the timing mats that pick up the time from the chip around my ankle were at the top of the beach. Official swim time: 16:33. This was more than a minute off my goal time of 15:00.
On to transition… This part went off without a hitch. My stuff was a little damp, but since I was also wet, it didn’t really make much of a difference. As I stripped off my wetsuit I heard my friends MV and MS cheering for me by the sidelines, which is always a good thing. T1 time: 2:13.
There was a bit of a run with our bikes out of transition, which accounted for some slower average times, but we all had to do it, so it was fair. Actually, it was the weather and the course itself that played the biggest role in the slow bike times overall. The course consisted of a 6.25K rectangular loop done five times. My plan for the first loop was to just take it easy and do some reconnaissance. Well, my heart rate indicated otherwise, so I just tried to focus on bringing it down a little to a level I knew I could maintain. I got passed a lot (from the speedier people who had started in the waves ahead of me and were on their third or fourth loops), but I did manage to pass a few people, too (none in my age-group, though). The rain that had stopped before the race started up again with a vengeance. I felt like I needed little windshield wipers on my glasses to see. The puddles were the size of small lakes, but since I was already wet, it didn’t really matter.
On my first loop, I passed VA, one of the guys from my tri clinic. He was fixing his bike and it looked like he had flatted. However, later on, he passed me on the bike, so he must have been able to fix the flat (but he was sporting some lovely road rash on his shoulder). I also passed H, who had also flatted out on her second loop. I was so sad for her because this was her first duathlon with her new bike and she was so excited about the event. The loops all became a blur after this point. Being in the last start wave, the crowds that were there on the first two laps had vanished by the time I got to my final lap. Official bike time: 1:11:07 (pace 27 km/hr), although my bike computer said 27.9km/hr). That was about 6 minutes slower than I had hoped, but considering the conditions, I’m happy with it.
T2 was also uneventful. I heard MV and MS cheering for me again (and some comment from MV about the colour of my socks and weren’t they supposed to be white). Thankfully, my shoes had stayed dry, although my socks were soaked (and black) from the bike ride, so it was moot. My official T2 time was 1:16, which was fine.
Off I went onto the run. My legs were feeling good, so I just went at a pace that I felt comfortable with. I passed someone from another age group (and an earlier start wave) right out of transition, so that felt really good. I also saw TC, one of the guys from my clinic, on his way back in, so I gave him a shout-out and a thumbs up. When I got to the first water station at the 1K mark I had a quick glance at my watch and it said 5:16, or something like that. 5:16? Surely that can’t be right! I don’t run that fast! Anyway, I kept at it. When I got to the 2K mark, my watch said 10:-something, so I knew I was still running well sub-6:00 Ks. On the way to the turnaround point I saw CA (who looked like she was suffering) and a bit further along, RO, another guy from the clinic. He was on his way back and suffering a little bit. I hit the split on my watch at the turnaround but didn’t look at the time. I could see RO in the distance ahead of me and tried to focus on catching him (for no other reason that to have something to work towards). There was also this other woman with a long ponytail braid who passed me at the turnaround that I was trying to stay with. She wasn’t in my age group, so it didn’t matter to me, but it’s still nice to have someone to pace off. We hit the water station 2K from the finish at the same time, however I stopped to drink a few tiny gulps of sports drink, so she got ahead of me. I eventually caught RO with about 1.5K to go in the race. He had been walking and I said to him, “C’mon, let’s go!” We ran together right behind ponytail lady all the way to the 7K marker where we dropped her and made the charge for home. I didn’t care if I crossed before RO or ponytail lady because I knew that I would have a faster time since my wave had started a good 10-12 minutes behind both of them. I think I dropped RO in the last 200m or so, but he wasn’t too far behind me.
Official finishing time: 2:11:26. H and CA were both there at the finish to congratulate me. When I finally had a chance to check my run splits, I saw that I ran the first half in 20:30 and the second half in 20:12, for a final run time of 40:42. I was shocked and ecstatic about this as it meant that my pace per kilometer was 5:26 (faster than a 9-min mile), which is WAY FAST for me – especially in a triathlon.
After wolfing down some food, H and I stood around for the draw prizes and awards. To my surprise, they called my name for the Athena 40+ category! Who, me? [Athena is a category for women who weigh more than 150 pounds. The men's equivalent is called Clydesdale, and their weight cutoff is 200 pounds.] In the end, I was the only person registered in that category, but heck, I’ll take it (and my time was faster than my friend CA who won 2nd place in the Athena under-39). In fact, this was the first time that I had actually entered a race as an Athena, even though I always qualified. I just never figured I'd be competitive in that category (most Athenas are over 5'9" and are 150 pounds of sheer muscle). I even got a medal (my first one that wasn’t for completing a race). I grabbed my stuff and packed up to go when a guy said that he had heard them call my name for one of the door prizes, but since I had already left, I missed out on it. Oh well, I was so thrilled with my hardware that it didn’t really matter.
All in all it was a great race under very challenging conditions. The organizers did an awesome job and I will definitely do this race again. I’m sure now that they’ve had the experience of the race under their belts that they’ll make modifications for next year.
Sunday morning:
I woke up before my alarm at 5:15AM to the sound of rain coming down in buckets. I immediately had flashbacks to Lake Placid in 2003 where we raced in the most unbelievably bad conditions imaginable. Today would prove to be equally challenging weather-wise, although (thankfully) on a much shorter and less challenging course.
The rain did subside for a while, but my plans to ride down to the race site were put on hold because I didn’t want to be soaked from puddles before I even got there. My friends H and P picked me up and then P dropped us off and we got settled in transition. Half of our age-group's bike rack was under water. We were lucky to be the second and third people there, so we got a good spot. In the end, there weren’t that many people in our age group, so there was plenty of room for all of us on the half of the rack that wasn’t under water.
The race itself was delayed, first by 30 minutes, then by another 15 minutes, then by a final 15 minutes, meaning that it eventually started 60 minutes late. This was to ensure safety since there was so much water on the roads and so many puddles (small lakes, actually). I tried to keep my gear dry under a garbage bag I had brought, but at times before the race the rain came down so hard it was almost unavoidable. My start wave (Women 40+ and Men 50+) was the last to go and didn’t start until 30 minutes after the first wave. They staggered the waves by 12 minutes or so because they wanted to regulate the number of people on the bike course simultaneously. I was only worried about this because I thought it might get really hot for my race, which would be a big problem for me. In the end, that wasn’t a factor.
The water temperature was great (low-70s) – you could have easily swam without a wetsuit. I felt pretty good in the beginning, but the course was a weird triangle shape (we swam out on a 45-degree angle from the beach), so when I made my turn at the buoy, I got disoriented and off course a bit. I finished the swim in 16 minutes flat (by my watch), but the timing mats that pick up the time from the chip around my ankle were at the top of the beach. Official swim time: 16:33. This was more than a minute off my goal time of 15:00.
On to transition… This part went off without a hitch. My stuff was a little damp, but since I was also wet, it didn’t really make much of a difference. As I stripped off my wetsuit I heard my friends MV and MS cheering for me by the sidelines, which is always a good thing. T1 time: 2:13.
There was a bit of a run with our bikes out of transition, which accounted for some slower average times, but we all had to do it, so it was fair. Actually, it was the weather and the course itself that played the biggest role in the slow bike times overall. The course consisted of a 6.25K rectangular loop done five times. My plan for the first loop was to just take it easy and do some reconnaissance. Well, my heart rate indicated otherwise, so I just tried to focus on bringing it down a little to a level I knew I could maintain. I got passed a lot (from the speedier people who had started in the waves ahead of me and were on their third or fourth loops), but I did manage to pass a few people, too (none in my age-group, though). The rain that had stopped before the race started up again with a vengeance. I felt like I needed little windshield wipers on my glasses to see. The puddles were the size of small lakes, but since I was already wet, it didn’t really matter.
On my first loop, I passed VA, one of the guys from my tri clinic. He was fixing his bike and it looked like he had flatted. However, later on, he passed me on the bike, so he must have been able to fix the flat (but he was sporting some lovely road rash on his shoulder). I also passed H, who had also flatted out on her second loop. I was so sad for her because this was her first duathlon with her new bike and she was so excited about the event. The loops all became a blur after this point. Being in the last start wave, the crowds that were there on the first two laps had vanished by the time I got to my final lap. Official bike time: 1:11:07 (pace 27 km/hr), although my bike computer said 27.9km/hr). That was about 6 minutes slower than I had hoped, but considering the conditions, I’m happy with it.
T2 was also uneventful. I heard MV and MS cheering for me again (and some comment from MV about the colour of my socks and weren’t they supposed to be white). Thankfully, my shoes had stayed dry, although my socks were soaked (and black) from the bike ride, so it was moot. My official T2 time was 1:16, which was fine.
Off I went onto the run. My legs were feeling good, so I just went at a pace that I felt comfortable with. I passed someone from another age group (and an earlier start wave) right out of transition, so that felt really good. I also saw TC, one of the guys from my clinic, on his way back in, so I gave him a shout-out and a thumbs up. When I got to the first water station at the 1K mark I had a quick glance at my watch and it said 5:16, or something like that. 5:16? Surely that can’t be right! I don’t run that fast! Anyway, I kept at it. When I got to the 2K mark, my watch said 10:-something, so I knew I was still running well sub-6:00 Ks. On the way to the turnaround point I saw CA (who looked like she was suffering) and a bit further along, RO, another guy from the clinic. He was on his way back and suffering a little bit. I hit the split on my watch at the turnaround but didn’t look at the time. I could see RO in the distance ahead of me and tried to focus on catching him (for no other reason that to have something to work towards). There was also this other woman with a long ponytail braid who passed me at the turnaround that I was trying to stay with. She wasn’t in my age group, so it didn’t matter to me, but it’s still nice to have someone to pace off. We hit the water station 2K from the finish at the same time, however I stopped to drink a few tiny gulps of sports drink, so she got ahead of me. I eventually caught RO with about 1.5K to go in the race. He had been walking and I said to him, “C’mon, let’s go!” We ran together right behind ponytail lady all the way to the 7K marker where we dropped her and made the charge for home. I didn’t care if I crossed before RO or ponytail lady because I knew that I would have a faster time since my wave had started a good 10-12 minutes behind both of them. I think I dropped RO in the last 200m or so, but he wasn’t too far behind me.
Official finishing time: 2:11:26. H and CA were both there at the finish to congratulate me. When I finally had a chance to check my run splits, I saw that I ran the first half in 20:30 and the second half in 20:12, for a final run time of 40:42. I was shocked and ecstatic about this as it meant that my pace per kilometer was 5:26 (faster than a 9-min mile), which is WAY FAST for me – especially in a triathlon.
After wolfing down some food, H and I stood around for the draw prizes and awards. To my surprise, they called my name for the Athena 40+ category! Who, me? [Athena is a category for women who weigh more than 150 pounds. The men's equivalent is called Clydesdale, and their weight cutoff is 200 pounds.] In the end, I was the only person registered in that category, but heck, I’ll take it (and my time was faster than my friend CA who won 2nd place in the Athena under-39). In fact, this was the first time that I had actually entered a race as an Athena, even though I always qualified. I just never figured I'd be competitive in that category (most Athenas are over 5'9" and are 150 pounds of sheer muscle). I even got a medal (my first one that wasn’t for completing a race). I grabbed my stuff and packed up to go when a guy said that he had heard them call my name for one of the door prizes, but since I had already left, I missed out on it. Oh well, I was so thrilled with my hardware that it didn’t really matter.
All in all it was a great race under very challenging conditions. The organizers did an awesome job and I will definitely do this race again. I’m sure now that they’ve had the experience of the race under their belts that they’ll make modifications for next year.
Friday, July 15, 2005
I guess I can post this now:
That felt really good! I haven't stepped on the scales since last Monday when that new low was recorded. I'll probably weigh in again as usual this coming Monday. Let's hope things stay even.
I haven't eaten very well the last couple of days. Since it's been so hot and I've been so cranky, I've caved to my cravings. I had a Caramel cake last night (you know, the little white cakes with caramel, white cream and covered in chocolate?). My friend CL bought them and I was at her place last night so I JUST. HAD. TO. HAVE. ONE! Today, my weakness was bad Chinese food (you know, the deep-fried-covered-in-sweet-sauce stuff with white rice).
The ride home from work today was NASTY and windy! I had a 20K headwind the whole way home. I still made it home in the same amount of time, but my HR was soaring, so I'm going to record that as 25 minutes of cycling at a Hard effort level (instead of medium). I did go to the gym this morning and do 30 minutes on the elliptical. I didn't want to overdo it because I have a race this weekend.
I'm not sure what my plans for this evening are. Probably just walk around my apartment nekkid because it's so FREAKING HOT!! Instead of my normal long ride tomorrow I'm going to do a little ride down to the race site and measure out the run course so I know where the turnaround is. Then I'll run it at a very easy pace, just to get a feel for the course. That's me: always well prepared! Ha ha.
I also MUST tidy and clean my apartment this weekend. MUST. MUST. MUST. I only have a week left until my little mini-vacation to Lake Placid and I want things to be in order before I leave. I'm just so unmotivated because of the heat and I don't want to exert myself by doing housework and sweating all over the freaking place! Grrrr. Yes, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. Where are the House Cleaning Fairies when you need them? Huh??
Full race report (whether you want it or not) on Sunday night.
That felt really good! I haven't stepped on the scales since last Monday when that new low was recorded. I'll probably weigh in again as usual this coming Monday. Let's hope things stay even.
I haven't eaten very well the last couple of days. Since it's been so hot and I've been so cranky, I've caved to my cravings. I had a Caramel cake last night (you know, the little white cakes with caramel, white cream and covered in chocolate?). My friend CL bought them and I was at her place last night so I JUST. HAD. TO. HAVE. ONE! Today, my weakness was bad Chinese food (you know, the deep-fried-covered-in-sweet-sauce stuff with white rice).
The ride home from work today was NASTY and windy! I had a 20K headwind the whole way home. I still made it home in the same amount of time, but my HR was soaring, so I'm going to record that as 25 minutes of cycling at a Hard effort level (instead of medium). I did go to the gym this morning and do 30 minutes on the elliptical. I didn't want to overdo it because I have a race this weekend.
I'm not sure what my plans for this evening are. Probably just walk around my apartment nekkid because it's so FREAKING HOT!! Instead of my normal long ride tomorrow I'm going to do a little ride down to the race site and measure out the run course so I know where the turnaround is. Then I'll run it at a very easy pace, just to get a feel for the course. That's me: always well prepared! Ha ha.
I also MUST tidy and clean my apartment this weekend. MUST. MUST. MUST. I only have a week left until my little mini-vacation to Lake Placid and I want things to be in order before I leave. I'm just so unmotivated because of the heat and I don't want to exert myself by doing housework and sweating all over the freaking place! Grrrr. Yes, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it. Where are the House Cleaning Fairies when you need them? Huh??
Full race report (whether you want it or not) on Sunday night.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
"I'm mellllllting....."
Just like the Wicked Witch of the West! Except my undoing is the heat! Oy, I feel gross!
It's 31C in my apartment (it's a tad cooler outside). The benefits of living by the lake means that the air stays cooler than in other parts of the city. The downside to living on the third (top) floor of a 1920's brick "Brownstone" is that once that brick heats up it's like a kiln in here!
I have a big bay window that faces southeast, so I get sun through that window until well past noon. The windows on the side of my apartment face southwest, so I get the sun the rest of the day. Since I'm on the top floor, there are no trees to provide shade. The only way I can actually get some sleep is to have the fan on me full blast all night.
Work was a struggle today. I was teaching a new group of people. It's a full class of fourteen, so we're crammed in. At least it's relatively cool in the training room. But this is a four-day course (the others are 2-2.5 days), so it's a real grind. I'm cranky and I have little patience.
I had an uneventful ride to/from work, which is good. I did a 30-minute Gravity class this morning with my perky little instructor (I like her, really) who resembles Gwen Stefani. The ride in is always much more pleasant than the ride home: I was dripping by the time I got home.
This evening I went out for a brick workout on the course where I'll be racing this weekend. I met up with some friends, including a couple of guys from the Triathlon clinic I'm teaching. We did three loops of the bike course (19K in total), followed by a 1.5K run. My time on the run (7:58) was not as fast as last week (7:48), but it was my second-fastest run at that distance, so I'm happy (considering the soupy air we had to run through).
Since I'm teaching the final night of the Tri Clinic tomorrow and won't get my own workout in, I'll have to run on the treadmill in the morning. I suppose I could just run from home, shower and then ride into work, but I AM paying through the nose for that gym, so I feel like I should get my money's worth. I'll make my decision in the morning.
That's it for now. I'm off to finish watching the big climbing stage of the Tour from today. I already know what happened since I was following it on-line today, but I want to see all the action live. Tomorrow will be another good viewing day as it has two legendary climbs: Col de la Madeleine and Col du Galibier. In between is the Col du Telegraphe. If you've never watched the Tour de France before, that's a great stage to watch.
It's 31C in my apartment (it's a tad cooler outside). The benefits of living by the lake means that the air stays cooler than in other parts of the city. The downside to living on the third (top) floor of a 1920's brick "Brownstone" is that once that brick heats up it's like a kiln in here!
I have a big bay window that faces southeast, so I get sun through that window until well past noon. The windows on the side of my apartment face southwest, so I get the sun the rest of the day. Since I'm on the top floor, there are no trees to provide shade. The only way I can actually get some sleep is to have the fan on me full blast all night.
Work was a struggle today. I was teaching a new group of people. It's a full class of fourteen, so we're crammed in. At least it's relatively cool in the training room. But this is a four-day course (the others are 2-2.5 days), so it's a real grind. I'm cranky and I have little patience.
I had an uneventful ride to/from work, which is good. I did a 30-minute Gravity class this morning with my perky little instructor (I like her, really) who resembles Gwen Stefani. The ride in is always much more pleasant than the ride home: I was dripping by the time I got home.
This evening I went out for a brick workout on the course where I'll be racing this weekend. I met up with some friends, including a couple of guys from the Triathlon clinic I'm teaching. We did three loops of the bike course (19K in total), followed by a 1.5K run. My time on the run (7:58) was not as fast as last week (7:48), but it was my second-fastest run at that distance, so I'm happy (considering the soupy air we had to run through).
Since I'm teaching the final night of the Tri Clinic tomorrow and won't get my own workout in, I'll have to run on the treadmill in the morning. I suppose I could just run from home, shower and then ride into work, but I AM paying through the nose for that gym, so I feel like I should get my money's worth. I'll make my decision in the morning.
That's it for now. I'm off to finish watching the big climbing stage of the Tour from today. I already know what happened since I was following it on-line today, but I want to see all the action live. Tomorrow will be another good viewing day as it has two legendary climbs: Col de la Madeleine and Col du Galibier. In between is the Col du Telegraphe. If you've never watched the Tour de France before, that's a great stage to watch.
Monday, July 11, 2005
A New Low (and a few updates)
Oh yes, people, today I saw a number that I don’t think I have ever seen before on my scales: 168! And I did it without even really trying!
OK, so maybe it’s due to dehydration (I’m sure I sweated it all out in yesterday’s heat), but I’ll take it nonetheless, even if only for a fleeting moment. I had been hovering in the 170-172 range for most of the last few months (I think I might have actually seen and quickly dismissed a 174 in there once during that time), so it was nice to see that new low number.
It was also a huge physical barrier for me to overcome since I didn’t think it was possible to go below where I was before, especially without really focusing on it. But I have to say that I have been noticing changes in my body over the last few months from all the training I’m doing. I can really feel the muscle definition in my legs and my arms, both of which are very good things. I would be happier if the weight came off my stomach or those little pooches of fat on my back, but I can’t really make that happen, so I will just take what I’m given and be happy.
I’m not getting too comfy about the weight-loss, though: not until I get down to 165 or so will I be able to confidently say that I have broken through the 170 barrier. I like to give myself a three- to four-pound cushion to allow for normal fluctuations. And I would say that’s probably a good strategy to have all around: don’t celebrate the two- or three-pound losses any more than berate yourself for the two- or three-pound gains.
And the interesting thing is: normally seeing a number like that would have me racing for the cookies in an attempt at self-sabotage (I am oh so good at that), but not today. After a brief “I must have a muffin” moment this morning, I settled down and found the resolve to have my normally healthy breakfast. I’m also going to be sure to get in AT LEAST 1L of water before I leave the office today and then fill up my bottle and try to get the rest in before the end of the day.
I didn’t drink nearly enough yesterday. I had a 750mL bottle of sports drink for my run, but I don’t “count” liquids consumed during exercise towards my daily goal of 1.5-2L since I’m taking that in to replace what I’m losing during exercise. I had filled my 1L pink Nalgene water bottle before I left home and it was still nice and cold in my Starvin’ Marvin cooler.
Aside: I’ve had the Starvin’ Marvin since I went on a road trip to Cleveland with some friends about 10 years ago. You know, I can’t even remember when it was that we went! It was the first year that Jacobs’ Field opened for the Indians and we saw the Orioles play (Cal Ripkin Jr. had just beaten the record for consecutive games), as well as a football game at the old Municipal Stadium where the (now defunct) Browns used to play. Oh, and we went to the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, too. Anyway, I digress. We stopped at this gas station and the little convenience store attached to it was called Starvin’ Marvin. They had these little Styrofoam coolers that were probably meant to hold a six pack of beer cans, but it turns out that it’s perfect for keeping my water bottles cold in the car while I’m out running or biking.
I polished off the 1L of water in no time after running. I never got a chance to refill it, though. At the BBQ (a.k.a, cook-out) after the race I had a beer and a couple of glasses of ginger ale, so that hardly counts as hydration! I had a big glass of soda water with a splash of POM (pomegranate juice – yum!) when I got home. Oh, and a glass of wine. Hmmm, that also doesn’t count as hydration.
If the simple formula for weight loss is to decrease the amount of calories you consume and/or increase the amount of calories you burn through exercise, I have to say that I would rather exercise more than eat less. But there’s only so much more exercise I can do than I’m already doing! That said, I did bail on my morning workout today. I just could not drag my ass out of bed when the alarm went off at 5:30. I had planned on doing some weights followed by 30 minutes on the elliptical, but I’ll just have to settle for a long swim this evening as my exercise for the day.
The other kicker is that the more you exercise, the hungrier you actually get (well, at least that’s the case for me). So I’m trying to figure out the right balance of food that will leave me full and ready to perform, yet allow me to maintain my current weight or, ideally, lose a couple of pounds a month. I think that for the time being as long as I can stay away from junk food (mostly sweets) then I will be fine. What is it about things made with butter, flour, sugar and eggs that entice me so much? Honestly, in and of themselves they are all good things (well, except maybe for the sugar). But I just love them, I truly do! Sigh. Oh, and cream: I love cream, too.
This heat is really getting to me (as evident in my lack of ability to get up this morning). I am not sleeping well as it’s just so stifling hot. I do get a bit of a respite between 8AM and 5PM when I am in the office, though. When I walked into the office this morning it felt like I was walking down the frozen food aisle at the supermarket! It was heavenly! But once my day is over, it’s back to the stinking heat. And I don’t get any relief the entire weekend. This week the temps are supposed to stay in the mid-30s every day! Crikey, that’s 95F and that’s without factoring in the humidity! It’s a small blessing that I live near the lake as it’s quite a bit cooler down there than it is uptown (3-4 degrees).
But it’s going to make exercising really tough this week. I have a race on Sunday, so I have to get my training in this week. It’s not going to be pretty. And there’s really no benefit to exercising indoors as my race will be in the heat, so I have to acclimatize myself to exercising in those conditions. Blech! SO NOT looking forward to exercising this week!
Sunday’s race, which is in my own back-yard a mere 10-minute bike ride from home (hence the pressure to do well), is a triathlon consisting of a 750m open-water swim (in Lake Ontario – which is not as bad as it sounds, Trish, honest), followed by a 32K (20-mile) bike ride on a flat loop done five times. Then it’s a 7.5K (4.7-mile) run, also on a flat course. And I LOVE flat courses as compared to hilly ones as they suit my abilities better. My goal for the swim is to complete it in 15 minutes or less. For the bike, I’d like to be able to maintain an average speed of 30km/hr, which would have me complete it in just over an hour (1:05). The only factor that could play into that is the wind. If it’s a windy day, it might be tough to maintain that pace. If I can maintain a sub-6:00 per km pace on the run, I should complete it in less than 45 minutes. Add about 3 minutes for transitions (swim-to-bike and bike-to-run) and that brings me in at 2:08. The race starts at 8AM, so hopefully it won’t be too hot at that time. If all things go well, I’ll be done just after 10AM. I’m going to do a bit of a test on the course tomorrow evening.
The last time I did a race of that relative distance I completed it in 2:08. That was in 2001 and I think the swim was short that year because it said that I completed it in under 14 minutes, which I find hard to believe as I’m a much better swimmer now than I was then. I only averaged 26km/hr on the bike, but there were hills and I think our transition times were included in our bike times. The run for that course was only 7K (as opposed to 7.5K) and I did it in 40 minutes, so if I can do a sub-2:08 this weekend that will definitely be an improvement.
Cell phone update: I bought a new phone on Saturday. Actually, the old phone had dried out sufficiently that it seemed to be working OK, but I really didn’t want to chance it. And the guy at the store managed to retrieve my contacts and transfer them over to the new phone, so I didn’t have to reprogram them all. Yea! Although it was a couple of hundred dollars that I didn’t need to spend! I wasn’t eligible for the rebate since it’s been less than two years since I last replaced my phone. Now I just have to download some more ring tones because the default ones are kind of lame. At first glance, it appears that my old Ironman ring tone is not available for this phone. Whaaa!
Litterbugs: I meant to post this last week when it happened, but I’ve only just remembered to do it now. I had just gotten on my bike outside the gym for the ride around the block to my office when I saw an arm come out of a pick-up truck parked by the side of the road. My cyclist’s instincts took over and I moved to one side, thinking that he was about to throw a cigarette ash (or worse: butt!) out the window. But then I saw something truly horrifying: the guy dropped an empty take-out coffee cup (from the largest chain in Canada, you know who you are!) right out the window onto the ground! As I rode by, the first thing that popped into my head to say was, “That was rude!” I didn’t look to see if he picked it up (doubtful) and I hope he knew that I meant that it was rude of him to litter in the first place, not just because he threw the cup right in front of me (which is also rude). Sheesh! Some people! I’m trying to live by the motto: Leave it cleaner than you found it. At the race yesterday, people (my friends, even) had left pop cans and other garbage around. I didn’t clean up everyone’s garbage, but anything that was in my general vicinity made it into the trash. I just wish I could always live by that motto at home…
The antidote to negative self-talk
Last week, I noticed a few of my lovely bloggers wallowing in their apparent failures. Many of you felt like you had fallen off the wagon or that you had gone into a tailspin. So, in response to that, let me offer you this little bit of inspiration.
I get a weekly e-mail from an Olympic-level triathlon coach named Barrie Shepley (he was the Canadian National Triathlon Team’s coach at the Sydney Olympics where Canadian Simon Whitfield won the inaugural gold medal in that event). Barrie is one of the most positive people I have ever met or trained with. Every Monday he sends out a newsletter filled with positive energy to literally hundreds, if not close to a thousand, people via e-mail (if you are interested in having this e-mail sent to you, go to personalbest.ca and follow the links to sign up). In his newsletter for July 4th he included the following article. I hope it has as much meaning for you as it did for me.
FAILURE IS REQUIRED
by Steve Goodier
Nobody stood and walked the first time her weight was put down on wobbly legs at a few months old. Nobody got his ABCs or counting to 10 right the first time he tried to imitate someone with that series of sounds. Nobody spelled "rendezvous" correctly upon first hearing the word. Everybody fails at something.
If it is true of things so basic as walking, counting, or writing, why should we be so surprised that we fail at things when we get older? A first job may not turn out to be a career. A sure-fire investment may not be. Some relationships don't work out. The real question isn't "Will I ever fail at anything?" but "What is the best way to deal with my mistakes and failures?" Nobody wants to mess up. Nobody sets out to fail. But fallibility is another name for humanity.
Thomas Edison was extraordinarily successful. He lit up the world with his incandescent bulb. He invented the phonograph, microphone, and movies. He conceived and created storage batteries. He worked with the inventions of others to make them commercially feasible - things like the typewriter, telegraph, and telephone. He patented a phenomenal 1,093 inventions during his lifetime. Those inventions literally changed the world. But failure was part of his creative process.
Most of us seem to fear failure so much that we avoid taking risks. We are reluctant to learn new things. We hesitate about anything unfamiliar that might make us look foolish or label us as failures. But where does one learn virtues such as perseverance and courage except from facing difficulties and setbacks?
During a frustrating series of experiments, Edison tried to buoy the spirits of a discouraged co-worker. "We haven't failed!" he told the man. "We now know things that won't work, so we are that much closer to finding what will."
Instead of fixating on the possibility of failure, it is better to understand that it is acceptable to try worthwhile things and fail. It is part of the learning process.
Think about the last time something came undone for you. Did you try to conceal it? Find someone to blame for it? Go into some dark place about your inadequacies as a person? Give up on the project or person?
Now think about a different strategy for your next setback. Admit that things didn't work out as you had hoped. Take responsibility for whatever part of the failure belongs to you. Then figure out what you can learn from the process. The point here is not simply to acknowledge but to learn from a reversal.
OK, so maybe it’s due to dehydration (I’m sure I sweated it all out in yesterday’s heat), but I’ll take it nonetheless, even if only for a fleeting moment. I had been hovering in the 170-172 range for most of the last few months (I think I might have actually seen and quickly dismissed a 174 in there once during that time), so it was nice to see that new low number.
It was also a huge physical barrier for me to overcome since I didn’t think it was possible to go below where I was before, especially without really focusing on it. But I have to say that I have been noticing changes in my body over the last few months from all the training I’m doing. I can really feel the muscle definition in my legs and my arms, both of which are very good things. I would be happier if the weight came off my stomach or those little pooches of fat on my back, but I can’t really make that happen, so I will just take what I’m given and be happy.
I’m not getting too comfy about the weight-loss, though: not until I get down to 165 or so will I be able to confidently say that I have broken through the 170 barrier. I like to give myself a three- to four-pound cushion to allow for normal fluctuations. And I would say that’s probably a good strategy to have all around: don’t celebrate the two- or three-pound losses any more than berate yourself for the two- or three-pound gains.
And the interesting thing is: normally seeing a number like that would have me racing for the cookies in an attempt at self-sabotage (I am oh so good at that), but not today. After a brief “I must have a muffin” moment this morning, I settled down and found the resolve to have my normally healthy breakfast. I’m also going to be sure to get in AT LEAST 1L of water before I leave the office today and then fill up my bottle and try to get the rest in before the end of the day.
I didn’t drink nearly enough yesterday. I had a 750mL bottle of sports drink for my run, but I don’t “count” liquids consumed during exercise towards my daily goal of 1.5-2L since I’m taking that in to replace what I’m losing during exercise. I had filled my 1L pink Nalgene water bottle before I left home and it was still nice and cold in my Starvin’ Marvin cooler.
Aside: I’ve had the Starvin’ Marvin since I went on a road trip to Cleveland with some friends about 10 years ago. You know, I can’t even remember when it was that we went! It was the first year that Jacobs’ Field opened for the Indians and we saw the Orioles play (Cal Ripkin Jr. had just beaten the record for consecutive games), as well as a football game at the old Municipal Stadium where the (now defunct) Browns used to play. Oh, and we went to the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, too. Anyway, I digress. We stopped at this gas station and the little convenience store attached to it was called Starvin’ Marvin. They had these little Styrofoam coolers that were probably meant to hold a six pack of beer cans, but it turns out that it’s perfect for keeping my water bottles cold in the car while I’m out running or biking.
I polished off the 1L of water in no time after running. I never got a chance to refill it, though. At the BBQ (a.k.a, cook-out) after the race I had a beer and a couple of glasses of ginger ale, so that hardly counts as hydration! I had a big glass of soda water with a splash of POM (pomegranate juice – yum!) when I got home. Oh, and a glass of wine. Hmmm, that also doesn’t count as hydration.
If the simple formula for weight loss is to decrease the amount of calories you consume and/or increase the amount of calories you burn through exercise, I have to say that I would rather exercise more than eat less. But there’s only so much more exercise I can do than I’m already doing! That said, I did bail on my morning workout today. I just could not drag my ass out of bed when the alarm went off at 5:30. I had planned on doing some weights followed by 30 minutes on the elliptical, but I’ll just have to settle for a long swim this evening as my exercise for the day.
The other kicker is that the more you exercise, the hungrier you actually get (well, at least that’s the case for me). So I’m trying to figure out the right balance of food that will leave me full and ready to perform, yet allow me to maintain my current weight or, ideally, lose a couple of pounds a month. I think that for the time being as long as I can stay away from junk food (mostly sweets) then I will be fine. What is it about things made with butter, flour, sugar and eggs that entice me so much? Honestly, in and of themselves they are all good things (well, except maybe for the sugar). But I just love them, I truly do! Sigh. Oh, and cream: I love cream, too.
This heat is really getting to me (as evident in my lack of ability to get up this morning). I am not sleeping well as it’s just so stifling hot. I do get a bit of a respite between 8AM and 5PM when I am in the office, though. When I walked into the office this morning it felt like I was walking down the frozen food aisle at the supermarket! It was heavenly! But once my day is over, it’s back to the stinking heat. And I don’t get any relief the entire weekend. This week the temps are supposed to stay in the mid-30s every day! Crikey, that’s 95F and that’s without factoring in the humidity! It’s a small blessing that I live near the lake as it’s quite a bit cooler down there than it is uptown (3-4 degrees).
But it’s going to make exercising really tough this week. I have a race on Sunday, so I have to get my training in this week. It’s not going to be pretty. And there’s really no benefit to exercising indoors as my race will be in the heat, so I have to acclimatize myself to exercising in those conditions. Blech! SO NOT looking forward to exercising this week!
Sunday’s race, which is in my own back-yard a mere 10-minute bike ride from home (hence the pressure to do well), is a triathlon consisting of a 750m open-water swim (in Lake Ontario – which is not as bad as it sounds, Trish, honest), followed by a 32K (20-mile) bike ride on a flat loop done five times. Then it’s a 7.5K (4.7-mile) run, also on a flat course. And I LOVE flat courses as compared to hilly ones as they suit my abilities better. My goal for the swim is to complete it in 15 minutes or less. For the bike, I’d like to be able to maintain an average speed of 30km/hr, which would have me complete it in just over an hour (1:05). The only factor that could play into that is the wind. If it’s a windy day, it might be tough to maintain that pace. If I can maintain a sub-6:00 per km pace on the run, I should complete it in less than 45 minutes. Add about 3 minutes for transitions (swim-to-bike and bike-to-run) and that brings me in at 2:08. The race starts at 8AM, so hopefully it won’t be too hot at that time. If all things go well, I’ll be done just after 10AM. I’m going to do a bit of a test on the course tomorrow evening.
The last time I did a race of that relative distance I completed it in 2:08. That was in 2001 and I think the swim was short that year because it said that I completed it in under 14 minutes, which I find hard to believe as I’m a much better swimmer now than I was then. I only averaged 26km/hr on the bike, but there were hills and I think our transition times were included in our bike times. The run for that course was only 7K (as opposed to 7.5K) and I did it in 40 minutes, so if I can do a sub-2:08 this weekend that will definitely be an improvement.
Cell phone update: I bought a new phone on Saturday. Actually, the old phone had dried out sufficiently that it seemed to be working OK, but I really didn’t want to chance it. And the guy at the store managed to retrieve my contacts and transfer them over to the new phone, so I didn’t have to reprogram them all. Yea! Although it was a couple of hundred dollars that I didn’t need to spend! I wasn’t eligible for the rebate since it’s been less than two years since I last replaced my phone. Now I just have to download some more ring tones because the default ones are kind of lame. At first glance, it appears that my old Ironman ring tone is not available for this phone. Whaaa!
Litterbugs: I meant to post this last week when it happened, but I’ve only just remembered to do it now. I had just gotten on my bike outside the gym for the ride around the block to my office when I saw an arm come out of a pick-up truck parked by the side of the road. My cyclist’s instincts took over and I moved to one side, thinking that he was about to throw a cigarette ash (or worse: butt!) out the window. But then I saw something truly horrifying: the guy dropped an empty take-out coffee cup (from the largest chain in Canada, you know who you are!) right out the window onto the ground! As I rode by, the first thing that popped into my head to say was, “That was rude!” I didn’t look to see if he picked it up (doubtful) and I hope he knew that I meant that it was rude of him to litter in the first place, not just because he threw the cup right in front of me (which is also rude). Sheesh! Some people! I’m trying to live by the motto: Leave it cleaner than you found it. At the race yesterday, people (my friends, even) had left pop cans and other garbage around. I didn’t clean up everyone’s garbage, but anything that was in my general vicinity made it into the trash. I just wish I could always live by that motto at home…
The antidote to negative self-talk
Last week, I noticed a few of my lovely bloggers wallowing in their apparent failures. Many of you felt like you had fallen off the wagon or that you had gone into a tailspin. So, in response to that, let me offer you this little bit of inspiration.
I get a weekly e-mail from an Olympic-level triathlon coach named Barrie Shepley (he was the Canadian National Triathlon Team’s coach at the Sydney Olympics where Canadian Simon Whitfield won the inaugural gold medal in that event). Barrie is one of the most positive people I have ever met or trained with. Every Monday he sends out a newsletter filled with positive energy to literally hundreds, if not close to a thousand, people via e-mail (if you are interested in having this e-mail sent to you, go to personalbest.ca and follow the links to sign up). In his newsletter for July 4th he included the following article. I hope it has as much meaning for you as it did for me.
FAILURE IS REQUIRED
by Steve Goodier
Nobody stood and walked the first time her weight was put down on wobbly legs at a few months old. Nobody got his ABCs or counting to 10 right the first time he tried to imitate someone with that series of sounds. Nobody spelled "rendezvous" correctly upon first hearing the word. Everybody fails at something.
If it is true of things so basic as walking, counting, or writing, why should we be so surprised that we fail at things when we get older? A first job may not turn out to be a career. A sure-fire investment may not be. Some relationships don't work out. The real question isn't "Will I ever fail at anything?" but "What is the best way to deal with my mistakes and failures?" Nobody wants to mess up. Nobody sets out to fail. But fallibility is another name for humanity.
Thomas Edison was extraordinarily successful. He lit up the world with his incandescent bulb. He invented the phonograph, microphone, and movies. He conceived and created storage batteries. He worked with the inventions of others to make them commercially feasible - things like the typewriter, telegraph, and telephone. He patented a phenomenal 1,093 inventions during his lifetime. Those inventions literally changed the world. But failure was part of his creative process.
Most of us seem to fear failure so much that we avoid taking risks. We are reluctant to learn new things. We hesitate about anything unfamiliar that might make us look foolish or label us as failures. But where does one learn virtues such as perseverance and courage except from facing difficulties and setbacks?
During a frustrating series of experiments, Edison tried to buoy the spirits of a discouraged co-worker. "We haven't failed!" he told the man. "We now know things that won't work, so we are that much closer to finding what will."
Instead of fixating on the possibility of failure, it is better to understand that it is acceptable to try worthwhile things and fail. It is part of the learning process.
Think about the last time something came undone for you. Did you try to conceal it? Find someone to blame for it? Go into some dark place about your inadequacies as a person? Give up on the project or person?
Now think about a different strategy for your next setback. Admit that things didn't work out as you had hoped. Take responsibility for whatever part of the failure belongs to you. Then figure out what you can learn from the process. The point here is not simply to acknowledge but to learn from a reversal.
Sunday, July 10, 2005
Long, hot summer
Good god, will this heat ever end?? Thank god for Banana Boat 30SPF Waterproof Sport Sunblock!
I drove up to Peterborough today to watch my friends compete in the Half-Ironman and Sprint triathlons. In case you're wondering, a Half-IM is a 2000m swim followed by a 90K bike and a 21.1K run. The sprint race was 750m swim, 20K bike and 5K run.
There's something wrong with the fact that I got up earlier both days of the weekend than I often do during the week! I was up just after 5:30AM and on the road by just after 6AM. After grabbing a coffee to go, I drove the 75 minutes northeast to Peterborough. I managed to find all my friends and wish them luck on their races.
While the athletes were out on their bikes, I hooked up with two friends to go for a 90-minute run. It was insanely hot and sunny and there wasn't a spec of shade on the route. We got to see some of the bikers and runners along the way and cheered and shouted encouragement to them. I was very glad to be done my run. We were actually out for 1:38 as we walked a bit more on the way back. I figure we ran about 14K.
When I got back from the run I found some shade near the finish line and just sat there and waited for people to come in. When I did venture out into the sun, I couldn't believe how hot it had gotten and can't imagine that people were running that far in that heat. Their medals were well deserved today!
My friend CL was doing the sprint. She informed me the other night that she had looked up my results from when I had done that race back in 2002. Although she didn't say so, I think she was hoping to beat my time. Well, I am happy to report that she did not! And I'm not even secretly happy about that: I'm overtly ecstatic! Our swim and run times were within seconds of each other, but where she lost a lot of time to me was on the bike and in transition. I only beat her by 3-4 minutes in total (I was 1:29, she was 1:33), but I'll take it. It's just a matter of time before she's able to beat me - as long as it's not this year! Ha ha.
I went to a friend's parents' place for a BBQ after the race and that was quite nice. I expected the drive home to be nasty with traffic, but it really wasn't that bad. I just turned up the tunes and sang all the way home!
Back to the old grind tomorrow. Blech!
I drove up to Peterborough today to watch my friends compete in the Half-Ironman and Sprint triathlons. In case you're wondering, a Half-IM is a 2000m swim followed by a 90K bike and a 21.1K run. The sprint race was 750m swim, 20K bike and 5K run.
There's something wrong with the fact that I got up earlier both days of the weekend than I often do during the week! I was up just after 5:30AM and on the road by just after 6AM. After grabbing a coffee to go, I drove the 75 minutes northeast to Peterborough. I managed to find all my friends and wish them luck on their races.
While the athletes were out on their bikes, I hooked up with two friends to go for a 90-minute run. It was insanely hot and sunny and there wasn't a spec of shade on the route. We got to see some of the bikers and runners along the way and cheered and shouted encouragement to them. I was very glad to be done my run. We were actually out for 1:38 as we walked a bit more on the way back. I figure we ran about 14K.
When I got back from the run I found some shade near the finish line and just sat there and waited for people to come in. When I did venture out into the sun, I couldn't believe how hot it had gotten and can't imagine that people were running that far in that heat. Their medals were well deserved today!
My friend CL was doing the sprint. She informed me the other night that she had looked up my results from when I had done that race back in 2002. Although she didn't say so, I think she was hoping to beat my time. Well, I am happy to report that she did not! And I'm not even secretly happy about that: I'm overtly ecstatic! Our swim and run times were within seconds of each other, but where she lost a lot of time to me was on the bike and in transition. I only beat her by 3-4 minutes in total (I was 1:29, she was 1:33), but I'll take it. It's just a matter of time before she's able to beat me - as long as it's not this year! Ha ha.
I went to a friend's parents' place for a BBQ after the race and that was quite nice. I expected the drive home to be nasty with traffic, but it really wasn't that bad. I just turned up the tunes and sang all the way home!
Back to the old grind tomorrow. Blech!
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Great Ride!
I had planned to ride about 75K today. I have a race next weekend and wanted to get a longer ride in this week because next weekend's race is rather short. I wasn't sure who was going to show up for the ride as many people are up in Peterborough for the race tomorrow. In the end, I rode with my dear friend JD and another friend of his. It was so nice to ride a new route and to have someone else plan the route for a change. He said that we were going to ride for 3 hours, which is what I had hoped to do, so it was perfect.
We ended up riding all the way up to the Holland Marsh, which is this beautiful piece of rich, dark, land where there are vegetable farms as far as the eye can see. The route was lovely as we had some rolling hills and a fairly shady route, which was nice. On the way back, we took an unfamiliar road, which ended up turning into dirt. We figured it would be OK for a short time as long as there weren't any big hills. Finally, the road turned back to pavement but it was a mixed blessing as there was this HUGE winding hill in front of us. JD's bike computer said that it was a 16% grade, which is just NASTY! I struggled to the top and got my HR up to 170 (my max on the bike is 177), so I was pushing hard. After a second steep climb, we were rewarded with a lovely long downhill that I just hammered. In the end, we actually covered just over 80K in 3:22 riding time, so that was perfect.
Towards the end of the ride I started to develop a stitch in my side that was quite painful. Normally, I would run after my ride but the stitch was still there, so I decided not to.
We then went to Tim's for coffee and bagels, which was great. I took a nice long shower as soon as I got home and now I'm just vegging on the couch.
I have to go out shortly to buy a new cell phone as mine ended up going through the wash the other night. Aaargh! I think it's dried out enough that I'll be able to retrieve the key phone numbers, but I'll need a whole new phone as I tried actually using the phone to make a call and it went all wonky. Drats!
I don't really have any plans for this evening. I have to get up early and be on the road by 6AM because I'm driving up to Peterborough tomorrow morning to watch my friends race. After the race, I'm invited to a BBQ at a friend's place whose parents live up there.
I'm just finishing up watching today's stage of the Tour on tape from this morning. It's the first mountain stage, so it should be good. Tomorrow's will be even better!
We ended up riding all the way up to the Holland Marsh, which is this beautiful piece of rich, dark, land where there are vegetable farms as far as the eye can see. The route was lovely as we had some rolling hills and a fairly shady route, which was nice. On the way back, we took an unfamiliar road, which ended up turning into dirt. We figured it would be OK for a short time as long as there weren't any big hills. Finally, the road turned back to pavement but it was a mixed blessing as there was this HUGE winding hill in front of us. JD's bike computer said that it was a 16% grade, which is just NASTY! I struggled to the top and got my HR up to 170 (my max on the bike is 177), so I was pushing hard. After a second steep climb, we were rewarded with a lovely long downhill that I just hammered. In the end, we actually covered just over 80K in 3:22 riding time, so that was perfect.
Towards the end of the ride I started to develop a stitch in my side that was quite painful. Normally, I would run after my ride but the stitch was still there, so I decided not to.
We then went to Tim's for coffee and bagels, which was great. I took a nice long shower as soon as I got home and now I'm just vegging on the couch.
I have to go out shortly to buy a new cell phone as mine ended up going through the wash the other night. Aaargh! I think it's dried out enough that I'll be able to retrieve the key phone numbers, but I'll need a whole new phone as I tried actually using the phone to make a call and it went all wonky. Drats!
I don't really have any plans for this evening. I have to get up early and be on the road by 6AM because I'm driving up to Peterborough tomorrow morning to watch my friends race. After the race, I'm invited to a BBQ at a friend's place whose parents live up there.
I'm just finishing up watching today's stage of the Tour on tape from this morning. It's the first mountain stage, so it should be good. Tomorrow's will be even better!
Friday, July 08, 2005
Dreams
Most of the time, dreams are very confounding and confusing. And I often wonder what precipitated the dream; in other words, what events occurred in my conscious mind that I needed to process in some way in my unconscious mind?
Yesterday evening I was out with my extended family for a birthday celebration. As a result of hanging out with people of a certain age, the conversation always seems to come back around to the “good old days.” My father, who passed away 28 years ago, is often a subject of discussion, especially for my uncle who clearly is always living in the past. Anyway, so my dad had been brought into my consciousness last night. The other thing that happened was that we waited quite a long time for my uncle to arrive at dinner (to the point where we were getting a little concerned). Anyway, he arrived and all was fine. But here’s how those events played into my dreams last night:
I’m not exactly sure where we were or even who I was with. It was some kind of event or meeting in some kind of public place. I was probably with a combination of friends and family, each one morphing into one another as so often happens in my dreams. The part I do remember is that we were all waiting for someone to arrive. Although I don’t remember the context or the actual person, there was someone who was disappointed that her father had not come to see her do her first triathlon (although not me in the dream, clearly this was meant to represent me) and we were all agreeing what a horrible person he was for not showing up.
The gist of the rest of the dream was that I (along with others) was waiting for my father to arrive. He was bringing someone with him, but I can’t remember who it was. We were all standing around waiting and were worried as to why he was so late. I don’t remember all the specifics, but I do remember feeling anxious in my dream about seeing him. As I started to process the significance of seeing someone I had not seen in 28 years, the anxiety began to grow a bit. There was no awareness or mention about the fact that he was (or had been) dead; he had just been away for a very long time. I wondered what kind of car he’d be driving; surely it wouldn’t be the same one he was driving 30 years ago! And would I even recognize him after all this time? What would I say to him? What would we talk about? Would he already know about all the things I had done over the last 28 years? And who was this person he was bringing with him?
I’m not even aware if my mother was around during all of this. She may have been, but there was no significance to whether she was there or not; she didn’t factor into this at all. As the hour drew later, we started to get concerned because they were beginning to lock the doors of the place we were at and we thought that if he didn’t arrive soon he wouldn’t be able to get in or to find us. Eventually, I decided to leave. I got in a car and started to drive, thinking that the others would catch up, including my father. That’s when I started to worry that I wouldn’t know what kind of car he was driving. And then my mother did factor into things here when I realized that she was driving a rented or borrowed car and I wouldn’t recognize it on the road.
The dream deteriorated at this point where I cannot recall any more of it. Suffice it to say that the meeting between my father and me never materialized.
So, now comes the deconstruction of the dream: What the heck am I waiting for? It’s almost like waiting has become my raison d’être over the last 28 years of my life. I’ve written previously about my penchant for “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” but this is a new spin on the waiting theme. Who am I waiting for? What am I waiting for? Why am I waiting for it? Maybe if I could figure out the Who and/or the What, I might be able to figure out the Why…
++++++++
I rode to/from work today - man was it windy this afternoon! I met CL and we went for a 6K run and planned to go for an easy swim afterwards. Unfortunately, the pool was closed. So we ate instead (of course!). God forbid we should actually burn some calories without replacing them. I had a slice of pizza from Mama's (yummmmm), a can of Limonata (mmmmmm) and to top it all off, a scoop of Creme Brulee ice cream from Ed's. Oh yes, no sense in burning calories when you can replace them twofold! Ha!
Nothing exciting happened in the Tour today. Lance is still in yellow. The first mountain stage starts tomorrow, so there should be some movement in the overall classification. I'll be doing a measely 75K in comparison to the 200+K that those guys will be doing. Ha!
I got my hair cut this afternoon. It was a new stylist for me. I always just go to the place that is the most convenient where I can make an appointment the day of or the day before. He did a really nice job and an awesome blowout, but then he kind of ruined it by putting in a bit too much finishing product which made it look a little greasy. Anyway, it's all ruined now as I ran this evening and was wearing a hat. Hopefully I'll be able to replicate the look myself (minus all the product, that is).
Yesterday evening I was out with my extended family for a birthday celebration. As a result of hanging out with people of a certain age, the conversation always seems to come back around to the “good old days.” My father, who passed away 28 years ago, is often a subject of discussion, especially for my uncle who clearly is always living in the past. Anyway, so my dad had been brought into my consciousness last night. The other thing that happened was that we waited quite a long time for my uncle to arrive at dinner (to the point where we were getting a little concerned). Anyway, he arrived and all was fine. But here’s how those events played into my dreams last night:
I’m not exactly sure where we were or even who I was with. It was some kind of event or meeting in some kind of public place. I was probably with a combination of friends and family, each one morphing into one another as so often happens in my dreams. The part I do remember is that we were all waiting for someone to arrive. Although I don’t remember the context or the actual person, there was someone who was disappointed that her father had not come to see her do her first triathlon (although not me in the dream, clearly this was meant to represent me) and we were all agreeing what a horrible person he was for not showing up.
The gist of the rest of the dream was that I (along with others) was waiting for my father to arrive. He was bringing someone with him, but I can’t remember who it was. We were all standing around waiting and were worried as to why he was so late. I don’t remember all the specifics, but I do remember feeling anxious in my dream about seeing him. As I started to process the significance of seeing someone I had not seen in 28 years, the anxiety began to grow a bit. There was no awareness or mention about the fact that he was (or had been) dead; he had just been away for a very long time. I wondered what kind of car he’d be driving; surely it wouldn’t be the same one he was driving 30 years ago! And would I even recognize him after all this time? What would I say to him? What would we talk about? Would he already know about all the things I had done over the last 28 years? And who was this person he was bringing with him?
I’m not even aware if my mother was around during all of this. She may have been, but there was no significance to whether she was there or not; she didn’t factor into this at all. As the hour drew later, we started to get concerned because they were beginning to lock the doors of the place we were at and we thought that if he didn’t arrive soon he wouldn’t be able to get in or to find us. Eventually, I decided to leave. I got in a car and started to drive, thinking that the others would catch up, including my father. That’s when I started to worry that I wouldn’t know what kind of car he was driving. And then my mother did factor into things here when I realized that she was driving a rented or borrowed car and I wouldn’t recognize it on the road.
The dream deteriorated at this point where I cannot recall any more of it. Suffice it to say that the meeting between my father and me never materialized.
So, now comes the deconstruction of the dream: What the heck am I waiting for? It’s almost like waiting has become my raison d’être over the last 28 years of my life. I’ve written previously about my penchant for “waiting for the other shoe to drop,” but this is a new spin on the waiting theme. Who am I waiting for? What am I waiting for? Why am I waiting for it? Maybe if I could figure out the Who and/or the What, I might be able to figure out the Why…
++++++++
I rode to/from work today - man was it windy this afternoon! I met CL and we went for a 6K run and planned to go for an easy swim afterwards. Unfortunately, the pool was closed. So we ate instead (of course!). God forbid we should actually burn some calories without replacing them. I had a slice of pizza from Mama's (yummmmm), a can of Limonata (mmmmmm) and to top it all off, a scoop of Creme Brulee ice cream from Ed's. Oh yes, no sense in burning calories when you can replace them twofold! Ha!
Nothing exciting happened in the Tour today. Lance is still in yellow. The first mountain stage starts tomorrow, so there should be some movement in the overall classification. I'll be doing a measely 75K in comparison to the 200+K that those guys will be doing. Ha!
I got my hair cut this afternoon. It was a new stylist for me. I always just go to the place that is the most convenient where I can make an appointment the day of or the day before. He did a really nice job and an awesome blowout, but then he kind of ruined it by putting in a bit too much finishing product which made it look a little greasy. Anyway, it's all ruined now as I ran this evening and was wearing a hat. Hopefully I'll be able to replicate the look myself (minus all the product, that is).
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Day off!
Gotta love the day off! And I mean a day off from training. And notice that I didn’t say “working out”. Although I don’t have a motivation issue where exercise is concerned, I find it helpful to be mindful of the language that I use to describe things [Note: watch out all of you who have used the word “loser” or “failure” in your blogs lately – I’m coming after you!].
The term “working out” has such negative connotations for me. It signifies pain and discomfort and punishment. The term “training” has so much more of a positive spin to it: “I’m training for triathlon,” or, “I’m training for a healthier, fitter body.” Doesn’t that sound so much better?
OK, when you’re dragging your ass to the gym and you truly don’t want to go, I can see that one might see this as merely semantics, but it works for me.
Training also implies that you are working to achieve a goal, rather than just doing the work for the work’s sake. It makes the goal a lot more tangible. Although on that note, I would say that having some other goal, rather than “losing X pounds” is more rewarding and less prone to setbacks.
So, today is my day off from training and it was well earned. I kind of like having my day off being a Thursday – that way I get a little mini-break in the middle of the week. Most people take Monday off since the weekends are usually heavy training days. But I would struggle to get through the week if I didn’t have Thursday to look forward to. And I would never consider taking a weekend off as that’s where all the fun training is! This week, I’m going to ride 75K on Saturday and run for 90 minutes on Sunday (although I’m not sure when I’m going to fit that in as I’m going up to Peterborough to watch some friends race on Sunday).
And what am I doing on my day off? Well, I’m eating cookies, that’s what I’m doing! And not just one cookie… three of them! There was a little going-away party for a co-worker and cookies were ordered. I had one (chocolate chip). Then after the party I took “one for the road” (oatmeal raisin). Then, about 2 hours later, I went back for a third (some kind of nut thing). Damn you, vile cookies! Aargh! But they were very good (although not as good as the home-made ones I ate all last weekend). Give me anything with flour, sugar, eggs, butter and chocolate and I go weak in the knees. I always succumb to temptation. I don’t know why those things have such power over me, although I would suspect that for the most part it’s simply a result of boredom. I did have a healthy breakfast, snack and lunch. It was just those damned cookies taunting me that I couldn’t resist.
This evening, I went out for dinner with my extended family, and I wasn't very good about not overindulging. But calories don't count when you eat them off someone else's plate, right?
I’ve made an appointment to get my hair cut tomorrow afternoon. It’s looking like a big ol’ mess right now, so it’s just in time. But I’m going to a new place since it’s right downstairs from the office and I don’t have any time to go any other time. The timing is not ideal as I’ll be riding my bike to/from work tomorrow and going for a swim after work, so my hair will look like crap within an hour of it being done! Oh well…
Tour update: There was a big crash towards the end of today’s stage. Luckily, Lance managed to stay out of it, but one of his rivals was able to make up some time on him. No worries… the mountains are coming in a couple of days.
The term “working out” has such negative connotations for me. It signifies pain and discomfort and punishment. The term “training” has so much more of a positive spin to it: “I’m training for triathlon,” or, “I’m training for a healthier, fitter body.” Doesn’t that sound so much better?
OK, when you’re dragging your ass to the gym and you truly don’t want to go, I can see that one might see this as merely semantics, but it works for me.
Training also implies that you are working to achieve a goal, rather than just doing the work for the work’s sake. It makes the goal a lot more tangible. Although on that note, I would say that having some other goal, rather than “losing X pounds” is more rewarding and less prone to setbacks.
So, today is my day off from training and it was well earned. I kind of like having my day off being a Thursday – that way I get a little mini-break in the middle of the week. Most people take Monday off since the weekends are usually heavy training days. But I would struggle to get through the week if I didn’t have Thursday to look forward to. And I would never consider taking a weekend off as that’s where all the fun training is! This week, I’m going to ride 75K on Saturday and run for 90 minutes on Sunday (although I’m not sure when I’m going to fit that in as I’m going up to Peterborough to watch some friends race on Sunday).
And what am I doing on my day off? Well, I’m eating cookies, that’s what I’m doing! And not just one cookie… three of them! There was a little going-away party for a co-worker and cookies were ordered. I had one (chocolate chip). Then after the party I took “one for the road” (oatmeal raisin). Then, about 2 hours later, I went back for a third (some kind of nut thing). Damn you, vile cookies! Aargh! But they were very good (although not as good as the home-made ones I ate all last weekend). Give me anything with flour, sugar, eggs, butter and chocolate and I go weak in the knees. I always succumb to temptation. I don’t know why those things have such power over me, although I would suspect that for the most part it’s simply a result of boredom. I did have a healthy breakfast, snack and lunch. It was just those damned cookies taunting me that I couldn’t resist.
This evening, I went out for dinner with my extended family, and I wasn't very good about not overindulging. But calories don't count when you eat them off someone else's plate, right?
I’ve made an appointment to get my hair cut tomorrow afternoon. It’s looking like a big ol’ mess right now, so it’s just in time. But I’m going to a new place since it’s right downstairs from the office and I don’t have any time to go any other time. The timing is not ideal as I’ll be riding my bike to/from work tomorrow and going for a swim after work, so my hair will look like crap within an hour of it being done! Oh well…
Tour update: There was a big crash towards the end of today’s stage. Luckily, Lance managed to stay out of it, but one of his rivals was able to make up some time on him. No worries… the mountains are coming in a couple of days.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Enough with the mushy stuff...
It's time for some hard core workout stats (yeah!!!). Ahem.
Man-o-man was it tough to drag my ass out of bed this morning. The alarm went off and I started to make little bargains with myself. But I knew that I wouldn't have any other window of opportunity to get my run in today, so I really had to go. I rode to the gym (a new best time for me: 18 minutes) and then ran on the treadmill for 30-35 minutes. I started off at 5.7mph, cruised for most of it at 6mph and then stepped it up in the end to 6.4mph. In the end, I covered 3 miles in just under 30 minutes.
Work was work. I rode home after work and tried to keep up with this guy on a road bike ahead of me. We were actually going about the same pace, but he got off like a shot when the lights turned green, so I was never able to keep up with him (although I always seemed to catch him at the lights).
My clinic was doing its first open water swim this evening. Yes, folks, we swam in the murky waters of Lake Ontario! I've actually swam in the lake a few times before, but never right here in the city. It was actually pretty good. It smelled a bit of fish at first, but then it was fine. I was actually a bit stressed trying to keep tabs on all the people in my group to make sure that we didn't lose anyone.
After the clinic, I joined up with my friend SM and we went over to The Lion to meet up with the rest of our usual run group for wings, nachos and beer. Definitely not the best food choices, but it was all there was going and I was starving.
Tomorrow is my one day off from exercise this week. Woo hoo! I can't really sleep in, though, because I have to get to work early to "study" for the stuff I'm going to be teaching. I'm doing laundry after work and then meeting my extended family for a BD dinner for my aunt. Then it's back to the craziness of my workout schedule.
Man-o-man was it tough to drag my ass out of bed this morning. The alarm went off and I started to make little bargains with myself. But I knew that I wouldn't have any other window of opportunity to get my run in today, so I really had to go. I rode to the gym (a new best time for me: 18 minutes) and then ran on the treadmill for 30-35 minutes. I started off at 5.7mph, cruised for most of it at 6mph and then stepped it up in the end to 6.4mph. In the end, I covered 3 miles in just under 30 minutes.
Work was work. I rode home after work and tried to keep up with this guy on a road bike ahead of me. We were actually going about the same pace, but he got off like a shot when the lights turned green, so I was never able to keep up with him (although I always seemed to catch him at the lights).
My clinic was doing its first open water swim this evening. Yes, folks, we swam in the murky waters of Lake Ontario! I've actually swam in the lake a few times before, but never right here in the city. It was actually pretty good. It smelled a bit of fish at first, but then it was fine. I was actually a bit stressed trying to keep tabs on all the people in my group to make sure that we didn't lose anyone.
After the clinic, I joined up with my friend SM and we went over to The Lion to meet up with the rest of our usual run group for wings, nachos and beer. Definitely not the best food choices, but it was all there was going and I was starving.
Tomorrow is my one day off from exercise this week. Woo hoo! I can't really sleep in, though, because I have to get to work early to "study" for the stuff I'm going to be teaching. I'm doing laundry after work and then meeting my extended family for a BD dinner for my aunt. Then it's back to the craziness of my workout schedule.
The Dilemma
Finally, the post you've all been waiting for. Hope it doesn't disappoint... More workout and food drivel to follow later after my swim.
++++++++++++
So, I got an invitation to P&J’s wedding reception on August 6th and now I am faced with a dilemma: The invitation said, “La and guest.” Ugh. Who the hell am I going to take as a guest?? I hate going to weddings by myself. Granted, I’ll know a bunch of people there, but it will still suck to be there alone with an implied, if not actual, empty chair beside me.
I do have a couple of male friends that I could ask (one of whom actually knows the couple getting married, although not well enough to be invited to the wedding himself), but I really don’t know if I want to go down that road.
You see, without going into detail here (as I’ve been burned by disclosing too much detail about my love life on-line), even though I am friends with them now, I have a bit of a history with both of these guys and I don’t know if it would be a good idea to ask either of them just so that I would have a date for the wedding.
I have also imagined some Worst-Case Scenarios (WCS) that could play out if I were to ask each of them and I don’t know if I’m willing to risk those possible outcomes. And imagining those WCS isn’t my way of letting fear be my guide, it’s about giving myself the kick-in-the-pants to remind myself that it’s not in my best interest to get too emotionally wrapped up in either of these guys again. And what I mean by that is not getting myself emotionally wrapped up in a guy who is not interested in me as anything more than a friend.
But, is assuming WCS anything like crossing your bridges twice? No, I don’t think so. If I were stressing about it and making myself sick then it would be. I’m just giving myself a reality check.
I am totally over Guy A. We’re friends who run into each other from time to time in group social situations and that’s cool. Guy B is a different story because for some reason I can’t just give it up and forget about him and move on, even though it’s entirely clear to me that he is not interested in me as anything more than a friend. Somehow I managed to get over it with Guy A (and I got totally burned by him, so if I could get over that, I can get over anything), so why can’t I do it with Guy B?
I think part of it is proximity. I don’t see Guy A on a regular basis and he’s not on my daily radar screen. Even when I saw him a couple of times recently, I didn’t feel the same kind of attraction for him that I had in the past. I also got a chance to do something with him that people wish for all the time: get closure. I think that part of it where he is concerned is that I really do know that he is not the right guy for me because I am not going to get what I need from him. He’s a bit messed up where relationships (and his life) are concerned and I don’t want to be someone’s dating road kill while they figure out what they want out of a relationship.
So, that brings me back to my earlier question: Why can’t I just give up on Guy B and move on? In all honestly, I don’t think it has anything to do with Guy B himself. On an intellectual level, just like with Guy A, I know that Guy B is really not the right guy for me. The entire relationship he has created with his son means that I will NEVER be #1 in his life, and that’s not a position I’m willing to put myself in. I’ve said it before, but I have to keep reminding myself of that every time I start going down a road that I really shouldn’t be taking (or worse, convincing myself that something he does/says to me means anything more than simple friendship). And the bottom line is that as long as I am so wrapped up with manufactured feelings for him there won’t be any room for anyone else.
I think the other part of it has to do with the fact that I have this huge gaping hole in my life. In the absence of anything real, I am filling that void myself in my mind (and he just happens to be a convenient subject). The danger in harboring these romantic fantasies is twofold: firstly, I constantly set myself up for disappointment when my reality does not live up to my fantasies. And, secondly, these fantasies do not leave any “room” for anyone else to get in.
Then why do I do this to myself when I know it’s not in my best interest? Well, that’s the million-dollar question now, isn’t it? I’ve been doing it for so long that it has just become a habit, albeit an unhealthy one. Now that I think about it, the same thing could be said for over-eating: how come if you know that the behaviour and the outcome of the behaviour are not good for you, do we continue to behave in that self-destructive way?
The only answer I can come up with (in the case of my love life) is that my romantic fantasies are safe – I can control them, unlike in real life where things are unpredictable and I have to react and respond on the fly. Not only can I control the sequence of events in my own mind, but I can also control the outcomes; things always turn out the way I want them to and I always get the guy. In real life, that never happens. And I want to be successful, even if it's only in my own mind.
Now that I think about it, it really is the same thing with food. Continuing with self-destructive behaviour – even when I know that it is self-destructive – is easy to rationalize because it is safe. It’s the devil I know. I am in control (or at least I think I am).
So, I think the solution for me is to just plan to go to the wedding on my own. It will send a karmic message to the universe that I am open to meeting someone new and not clogging up my psyche with a meaningless escort just to fill the “and guest” void.
Update: After writing that entry on Monday, I saw PJ and when she asked whether I was bringing a guest to the wedding I said, No. So, that's done now.
++++++++++++
So, I got an invitation to P&J’s wedding reception on August 6th and now I am faced with a dilemma: The invitation said, “La and guest.” Ugh. Who the hell am I going to take as a guest?? I hate going to weddings by myself. Granted, I’ll know a bunch of people there, but it will still suck to be there alone with an implied, if not actual, empty chair beside me.
I do have a couple of male friends that I could ask (one of whom actually knows the couple getting married, although not well enough to be invited to the wedding himself), but I really don’t know if I want to go down that road.
You see, without going into detail here (as I’ve been burned by disclosing too much detail about my love life on-line), even though I am friends with them now, I have a bit of a history with both of these guys and I don’t know if it would be a good idea to ask either of them just so that I would have a date for the wedding.
I have also imagined some Worst-Case Scenarios (WCS) that could play out if I were to ask each of them and I don’t know if I’m willing to risk those possible outcomes. And imagining those WCS isn’t my way of letting fear be my guide, it’s about giving myself the kick-in-the-pants to remind myself that it’s not in my best interest to get too emotionally wrapped up in either of these guys again. And what I mean by that is not getting myself emotionally wrapped up in a guy who is not interested in me as anything more than a friend.
But, is assuming WCS anything like crossing your bridges twice? No, I don’t think so. If I were stressing about it and making myself sick then it would be. I’m just giving myself a reality check.
I am totally over Guy A. We’re friends who run into each other from time to time in group social situations and that’s cool. Guy B is a different story because for some reason I can’t just give it up and forget about him and move on, even though it’s entirely clear to me that he is not interested in me as anything more than a friend. Somehow I managed to get over it with Guy A (and I got totally burned by him, so if I could get over that, I can get over anything), so why can’t I do it with Guy B?
I think part of it is proximity. I don’t see Guy A on a regular basis and he’s not on my daily radar screen. Even when I saw him a couple of times recently, I didn’t feel the same kind of attraction for him that I had in the past. I also got a chance to do something with him that people wish for all the time: get closure. I think that part of it where he is concerned is that I really do know that he is not the right guy for me because I am not going to get what I need from him. He’s a bit messed up where relationships (and his life) are concerned and I don’t want to be someone’s dating road kill while they figure out what they want out of a relationship.
So, that brings me back to my earlier question: Why can’t I just give up on Guy B and move on? In all honestly, I don’t think it has anything to do with Guy B himself. On an intellectual level, just like with Guy A, I know that Guy B is really not the right guy for me. The entire relationship he has created with his son means that I will NEVER be #1 in his life, and that’s not a position I’m willing to put myself in. I’ve said it before, but I have to keep reminding myself of that every time I start going down a road that I really shouldn’t be taking (or worse, convincing myself that something he does/says to me means anything more than simple friendship). And the bottom line is that as long as I am so wrapped up with manufactured feelings for him there won’t be any room for anyone else.
I think the other part of it has to do with the fact that I have this huge gaping hole in my life. In the absence of anything real, I am filling that void myself in my mind (and he just happens to be a convenient subject). The danger in harboring these romantic fantasies is twofold: firstly, I constantly set myself up for disappointment when my reality does not live up to my fantasies. And, secondly, these fantasies do not leave any “room” for anyone else to get in.
Then why do I do this to myself when I know it’s not in my best interest? Well, that’s the million-dollar question now, isn’t it? I’ve been doing it for so long that it has just become a habit, albeit an unhealthy one. Now that I think about it, the same thing could be said for over-eating: how come if you know that the behaviour and the outcome of the behaviour are not good for you, do we continue to behave in that self-destructive way?
The only answer I can come up with (in the case of my love life) is that my romantic fantasies are safe – I can control them, unlike in real life where things are unpredictable and I have to react and respond on the fly. Not only can I control the sequence of events in my own mind, but I can also control the outcomes; things always turn out the way I want them to and I always get the guy. In real life, that never happens. And I want to be successful, even if it's only in my own mind.
Now that I think about it, it really is the same thing with food. Continuing with self-destructive behaviour – even when I know that it is self-destructive – is easy to rationalize because it is safe. It’s the devil I know. I am in control (or at least I think I am).
So, I think the solution for me is to just plan to go to the wedding on my own. It will send a karmic message to the universe that I am open to meeting someone new and not clogging up my psyche with a meaningless escort just to fill the “and guest” void.
Update: After writing that entry on Monday, I saw PJ and when she asked whether I was bringing a guest to the wedding I said, No. So, that's done now.
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
Drats... another boring update
I forgot to e-mail myself the entry I wrote on Monday. It's a good one... hope you're not disappointed once it actually gets posted.
Workout drivel:
Rode to work. Did a 30-minute Gravity class. It was tough - my legs were burning and I couldn't figure out why. And my ride in seemed harder than normal, too. Realized that it was because I had done leg weights yesterday. Duh! The ride home from work was uneventful (as it should be). Although I have to say that I made up for all the red lights I got on the way in with an equal number of fortuitous green lights on the way home. Even steven.
After work, ate some cereal and then went out for my evening brick workout. What's a brick, you ask? Well, it's a bike ride followed immediately by a run. Your legs feel like bricks, hence the name (ha ha). Anyway, after my warm-up ride down, I rode three time around my usual loop. I got passed by a guy on a really hot bike (Cervelo) on my first lap. I managed to stay with him for a few hundred meters, but the thing is, he was just cruising along whereas I was hammering at 85% effort. On lap two, I got passed by another hot guy on a hot bike (Cannondale, like me). Again, I managed to stay with this guy a short time before getting dropped. On the third loop, Cannondale guy took the bike path instead of the road, so I got ahead of him again. He passed me in almost the same spot as before. This time, I think he let me draft off him because he seemed to slow down and look back to see where I was. I was right on his tail for a while which was nice because it was a little windy and it was nice and calm back there in his draft zone. After the bike ride I ran my usual 1500m out-and-back. The first time I did that little run I did it in 8:26 (5:37/km). The second time I did it, I ran 8:12 (5:28/km). Tonight, I ran it in a blazing time of 7:48 (5:12/km). Holy crap! I had no idea I had gotten so fast! Now, the first two runs were on insanely hot/humid days, which has a huge effect on me. Tonight was a bit muggy and a bit windy, but much more pleasant for running. Go me!
Eating drivel:
I think I ate OK today, but it could have been better. I remembered my protein shake for right after my workout. I had museli for breakfast with coffee. I did have a snack today - peanut butter on a bagel and another coffee (so tired). For lunch, it was pork souvlaki on a pita (tzaziki, tomatoes) with salad and only a tiny bit of dressing and feta cheese. I succumbed to the rice crispy square again at 2:30. When I got home, I ate a bowl of cereal (as mentioned above). After my workout, I polished off a huge protein smoothie (frozen berries, light vanilla soy milk, honey and protein powder) and half a Clif bar. I do need to take in some more water as I only managed 1L today.
Tour drivel:
Lance is back in yellow! Well, not exactly "back" because he hasn't had the maillot jaune at all this year, but considering he's worn is so much over the last six years, it seems appropriate to say that. The previous leader (Zabriskie) crashed during the Team Time Trial today (with only 1.5K to go). He's iffy to continue with the rest of the tour pending medical clearance (might have broken ribs). I'm watching the rerun coverage right now but I haven't seen the crash yet. It's really amazing how fast these guys go when riding in a pack like that. Team Discovery, who had the fastest time on the day, averaged something like 57km/hr (over 35 mph) for over an hour! Crikey!
Speaking of the Tour, time to get back to my TV viewing...
Workout drivel:
Rode to work. Did a 30-minute Gravity class. It was tough - my legs were burning and I couldn't figure out why. And my ride in seemed harder than normal, too. Realized that it was because I had done leg weights yesterday. Duh! The ride home from work was uneventful (as it should be). Although I have to say that I made up for all the red lights I got on the way in with an equal number of fortuitous green lights on the way home. Even steven.
After work, ate some cereal and then went out for my evening brick workout. What's a brick, you ask? Well, it's a bike ride followed immediately by a run. Your legs feel like bricks, hence the name (ha ha). Anyway, after my warm-up ride down, I rode three time around my usual loop. I got passed by a guy on a really hot bike (Cervelo) on my first lap. I managed to stay with him for a few hundred meters, but the thing is, he was just cruising along whereas I was hammering at 85% effort. On lap two, I got passed by another hot guy on a hot bike (Cannondale, like me). Again, I managed to stay with this guy a short time before getting dropped. On the third loop, Cannondale guy took the bike path instead of the road, so I got ahead of him again. He passed me in almost the same spot as before. This time, I think he let me draft off him because he seemed to slow down and look back to see where I was. I was right on his tail for a while which was nice because it was a little windy and it was nice and calm back there in his draft zone. After the bike ride I ran my usual 1500m out-and-back. The first time I did that little run I did it in 8:26 (5:37/km). The second time I did it, I ran 8:12 (5:28/km). Tonight, I ran it in a blazing time of 7:48 (5:12/km). Holy crap! I had no idea I had gotten so fast! Now, the first two runs were on insanely hot/humid days, which has a huge effect on me. Tonight was a bit muggy and a bit windy, but much more pleasant for running. Go me!
Eating drivel:
I think I ate OK today, but it could have been better. I remembered my protein shake for right after my workout. I had museli for breakfast with coffee. I did have a snack today - peanut butter on a bagel and another coffee (so tired). For lunch, it was pork souvlaki on a pita (tzaziki, tomatoes) with salad and only a tiny bit of dressing and feta cheese. I succumbed to the rice crispy square again at 2:30. When I got home, I ate a bowl of cereal (as mentioned above). After my workout, I polished off a huge protein smoothie (frozen berries, light vanilla soy milk, honey and protein powder) and half a Clif bar. I do need to take in some more water as I only managed 1L today.
Tour drivel:
Lance is back in yellow! Well, not exactly "back" because he hasn't had the maillot jaune at all this year, but considering he's worn is so much over the last six years, it seems appropriate to say that. The previous leader (Zabriskie) crashed during the Team Time Trial today (with only 1.5K to go). He's iffy to continue with the rest of the tour pending medical clearance (might have broken ribs). I'm watching the rerun coverage right now but I haven't seen the crash yet. It's really amazing how fast these guys go when riding in a pack like that. Team Discovery, who had the fastest time on the day, averaged something like 57km/hr (over 35 mph) for over an hour! Crikey!
Speaking of the Tour, time to get back to my TV viewing...
Monday, July 04, 2005
We interrupt this post for the following Condo update: Let there be brick! Yes, my friends, there is actual BRICK on the outside of the building. They haven't gotten to my part of the building yet, but there is brick going up none the less. Woo!
I had written this really great post at work today about the dilemma I am currently facing, but I forgot to e-mail it to myself before I left work, so it will have to wait until tomorrow. Because we have the Internet Police at work I don't go anywhere near blogging sites on my work computer.
So instead, you'll get the boring old food and exercise update (sorry, BC).
Drove to the gym this morning. Did leg weights followed by 35 minutes on the elliptical machine. The plan for this evening was to swim five laps of the lake, but when we got there it had started to thunder. We waited it out for 30 minutes and then began our swim, but the thunder and lightning started up again, so PJ called it a night and asked everyone to get out of the lake. It's not her lake, but her future in-laws' place, so she didn't want to take any chances (especially since her fiancee wasn't there). I did manage to get two laps in (800m in about 16 minutes), so it's better than nothing.
Food was OK today. I forgot to bring my protein shake to the gym, so I didn't get to eat until more than 45 minutes after my workout ended, which is far less than ideal. I had a bagel with PB and a large coffee at 8:15. I didn't get a mid-morning snack, so I went for lunch early and was back at my desk with my lentil soup and falafel pita just after noon. I was about to go for a snack around 2PM when my phone rang: it was H on her way to the airport headed for Boston. We chatted for about 20 minutes, so I finally got a chance to run down for a snack around 2:30. I caved and had a rice crispy square (my latest obsession). Since I was swimming, I didn't get any dinner until I got home around 8:30. I had one little low-cal dinner in the freezer, so I nuked that and wolfed it down. I also had a soy protein shake while my dinner was in the oven. And a glass of white wine with dinner. I finished things off with my fave chocolate soy pudding (100 cals).
My water consumption was quite good today: not counting the water I drank during my workout, I got in close to 2L today. I think I still have about 250-300mL left in my new pink water bottle. I'll finish that before I go to bed.
I'm watching the end of the Tour right now. Man, those guys are like machines on their bikes! I wish I could ride like that. Nothing exciting to post - it was a flat sprinters' stage, so no movement in the overall standings. Tomorrow is the Team Time Trial, which is a cool thing to wath if you've never seen it: nine riders riding in a pack, drafting off each other trying to beat the time of the teams that went out before them. You can watch it on OLN.
The plan for tomorrow is this:
Ride my bike to the gym and do a 30-minute gravity class. I have to get to work early because I'm teaching and this class requires a bit of preparation that I haven't quite done yet. After work, I'll ride home, grab something to eat (probably a protein shake) and then head out for my evening bike workout. I think I'll ride about 30K or so, followed by a quick run.
Oh, and I'll be sure to post that "dilemma" entry...
I had written this really great post at work today about the dilemma I am currently facing, but I forgot to e-mail it to myself before I left work, so it will have to wait until tomorrow. Because we have the Internet Police at work I don't go anywhere near blogging sites on my work computer.
So instead, you'll get the boring old food and exercise update (sorry, BC).
Drove to the gym this morning. Did leg weights followed by 35 minutes on the elliptical machine. The plan for this evening was to swim five laps of the lake, but when we got there it had started to thunder. We waited it out for 30 minutes and then began our swim, but the thunder and lightning started up again, so PJ called it a night and asked everyone to get out of the lake. It's not her lake, but her future in-laws' place, so she didn't want to take any chances (especially since her fiancee wasn't there). I did manage to get two laps in (800m in about 16 minutes), so it's better than nothing.
Food was OK today. I forgot to bring my protein shake to the gym, so I didn't get to eat until more than 45 minutes after my workout ended, which is far less than ideal. I had a bagel with PB and a large coffee at 8:15. I didn't get a mid-morning snack, so I went for lunch early and was back at my desk with my lentil soup and falafel pita just after noon. I was about to go for a snack around 2PM when my phone rang: it was H on her way to the airport headed for Boston. We chatted for about 20 minutes, so I finally got a chance to run down for a snack around 2:30. I caved and had a rice crispy square (my latest obsession). Since I was swimming, I didn't get any dinner until I got home around 8:30. I had one little low-cal dinner in the freezer, so I nuked that and wolfed it down. I also had a soy protein shake while my dinner was in the oven. And a glass of white wine with dinner. I finished things off with my fave chocolate soy pudding (100 cals).
My water consumption was quite good today: not counting the water I drank during my workout, I got in close to 2L today. I think I still have about 250-300mL left in my new pink water bottle. I'll finish that before I go to bed.
I'm watching the end of the Tour right now. Man, those guys are like machines on their bikes! I wish I could ride like that. Nothing exciting to post - it was a flat sprinters' stage, so no movement in the overall standings. Tomorrow is the Team Time Trial, which is a cool thing to wath if you've never seen it: nine riders riding in a pack, drafting off each other trying to beat the time of the teams that went out before them. You can watch it on OLN.
The plan for tomorrow is this:
Ride my bike to the gym and do a 30-minute gravity class. I have to get to work early because I'm teaching and this class requires a bit of preparation that I haven't quite done yet. After work, I'll ride home, grab something to eat (probably a protein shake) and then head out for my evening bike workout. I think I'll ride about 30K or so, followed by a quick run.
Oh, and I'll be sure to post that "dilemma" entry...
Sunday, July 03, 2005
And so it begins...
For the next 21 days or so I will be glued to my TV set every night for the daily update on the Tour de France (you can follow it yourself here: http://www.letour.fr/TDF/LIVE/us/200/index.html
Although none of you probably care, I'll be posting my comments/updates on the day's results. Since my boyfriend Lance is still shacked up with that rock singer girlfriend of his (grrr), my enthusiasm for him has tempered a bit. OK, well maybe not so much - he's still my fave! He's going for win #7 in this, his final season as a pro.
After two stages (Stage 1's time trial and today's Stage 2, which was flat), Lance is in second place to another American named David Zabriskie (Team: CSC) of Utah. Lance is 2 seconds behind, which is entirely insignificant at this point in the race. Personally, I don't think he wanted to wear the Maillot Jaune as there's way too much pressure to be the Tour leader.
Ooooooo, it's going to be an exciting three weeks!
Although none of you probably care, I'll be posting my comments/updates on the day's results. Since my boyfriend Lance is still shacked up with that rock singer girlfriend of his (grrr), my enthusiasm for him has tempered a bit. OK, well maybe not so much - he's still my fave! He's going for win #7 in this, his final season as a pro.
After two stages (Stage 1's time trial and today's Stage 2, which was flat), Lance is in second place to another American named David Zabriskie (Team: CSC) of Utah. Lance is 2 seconds behind, which is entirely insignificant at this point in the race. Personally, I don't think he wanted to wear the Maillot Jaune as there's way too much pressure to be the Tour leader.
Ooooooo, it's going to be an exciting three weeks!
Back home
I had an awesome weekend! After the hot, muggy weather we have had for the last 2 weeks, the heat finally broke and the weather was perfect (even a bit cold at night).
Oh, right, I forgot to mention where we went! This was a Mystery Road Trip, so when we arrived at the meeting spot none of us but the organizer knew where we were going. We got our maps, our instructions and our... disposable cameras?? Yes, we were on a photo scavenger hunt that would take us to our location. We now knew the final destination (a small campground just outside Kingston, ON), but we had to collect photos of a number of different things. Each item had a different point value, so we had to be creative as to which things we would try to get photos of. For example, we had to take a photo of our team (3 of us) in a car wash, in our bathing suits (10 points). We also needed to get a shot of one team member behind the wheel of a cab. Another was to get someone in a grocery cart. We killed a bunch of birds in one stop when we spotted an DIY carwash place. And a cab was just sitting in the parking lot! So we asked the driver if we could take a photo of MH in the driver's seat. Then we drove around the back of the grocery store to change into our bathing suits where lo and behold there was a huge stash of carts! Click! Then it was onto the car wash where we solicited a guy washing his car next to ours to take our photo.
The whole thing was a lot of fun, but that, along with holiday weekend traffic, meant that we didn't get to the campground until 6PM (and we left at 1PM). Normally, this drive should take 2.5 hours. The campground itself was a bit weird. It was more like a trailer park than a campgound, but we found a nice secluded area and set up camp there. We had to get a bit McIver at times since we didn't have many of the things we needed, but in the end we ate very well.
On Saturday we went for a bike ride. Although the group of us (8 riders) started out together, some were faster and were going longer, so we split up into two groups. My group of four had planned to ride for 2 hours, so we just rode out for an hour and then turned around and went back the same route. It was great because we rode most of the route that the race I'm doing on July 31 will be on, so any chance to ride there is a benefit. I still struggle a bit on the uphills, but I was smokin' on the downhills!
While the other four were out riding, the rest of us went into town and had some lunch. When we got back, a few of us went to check out the beach. It was a bit weedy to get in a decent swim. I sliced my finger on some sharp rocks below the surface and KH sliced her toe. It was nothing major, just a bit of a bummer, that's all.
Saturday's dinner was a hodge-podge of stuff left over from the night before (veggies, meat) with tomato sauce and wine thrown over pasta. It was great (and all cooked over an open fire). There was no shortage of food, goodies, treats, junk food and even s'mores!
This morning we went for a run. It was a lot hotter today than it was yesterday, so I got a little fried (even though it was only 9AM when we went out). After the run, we changed and headed out for coffee and food before heading home.
Since the weather was nice, the holiday weekend traffic had not started yet (wait until 5PM - yikes!). We made it home in just over 2 hours, which was a real treat. I now have the rest of my day to chill and to put all my crap away from the weekend.
All in all, it was a great social weekend and a great training weekend (minus the swim, that is). I ate very well, meaning that everything I ate tasted really good, even if it wasn't very healthy for me (home-made chocolate chip cookies, rice crispy squares, banana bread, Hint-o-lime Tostitos, s'mores, DQ Hot Fudge sundae). Oh well, tomorrow is Monday and I'll get my eating back on track. Friday morning's weigh-in showed the usual 170lbs, so I'm not expecting to see anything lower tomorrow morning. And if it's a gain, I enjoyed every calorie of it!
This was truly the end of my "recovery" week, so it's back to the heavy mileage again this week. I'm looking forward to it!
Oh, right, I forgot to mention where we went! This was a Mystery Road Trip, so when we arrived at the meeting spot none of us but the organizer knew where we were going. We got our maps, our instructions and our... disposable cameras?? Yes, we were on a photo scavenger hunt that would take us to our location. We now knew the final destination (a small campground just outside Kingston, ON), but we had to collect photos of a number of different things. Each item had a different point value, so we had to be creative as to which things we would try to get photos of. For example, we had to take a photo of our team (3 of us) in a car wash, in our bathing suits (10 points). We also needed to get a shot of one team member behind the wheel of a cab. Another was to get someone in a grocery cart. We killed a bunch of birds in one stop when we spotted an DIY carwash place. And a cab was just sitting in the parking lot! So we asked the driver if we could take a photo of MH in the driver's seat. Then we drove around the back of the grocery store to change into our bathing suits where lo and behold there was a huge stash of carts! Click! Then it was onto the car wash where we solicited a guy washing his car next to ours to take our photo.
The whole thing was a lot of fun, but that, along with holiday weekend traffic, meant that we didn't get to the campground until 6PM (and we left at 1PM). Normally, this drive should take 2.5 hours. The campground itself was a bit weird. It was more like a trailer park than a campgound, but we found a nice secluded area and set up camp there. We had to get a bit McIver at times since we didn't have many of the things we needed, but in the end we ate very well.
On Saturday we went for a bike ride. Although the group of us (8 riders) started out together, some were faster and were going longer, so we split up into two groups. My group of four had planned to ride for 2 hours, so we just rode out for an hour and then turned around and went back the same route. It was great because we rode most of the route that the race I'm doing on July 31 will be on, so any chance to ride there is a benefit. I still struggle a bit on the uphills, but I was smokin' on the downhills!
While the other four were out riding, the rest of us went into town and had some lunch. When we got back, a few of us went to check out the beach. It was a bit weedy to get in a decent swim. I sliced my finger on some sharp rocks below the surface and KH sliced her toe. It was nothing major, just a bit of a bummer, that's all.
Saturday's dinner was a hodge-podge of stuff left over from the night before (veggies, meat) with tomato sauce and wine thrown over pasta. It was great (and all cooked over an open fire). There was no shortage of food, goodies, treats, junk food and even s'mores!
This morning we went for a run. It was a lot hotter today than it was yesterday, so I got a little fried (even though it was only 9AM when we went out). After the run, we changed and headed out for coffee and food before heading home.
Since the weather was nice, the holiday weekend traffic had not started yet (wait until 5PM - yikes!). We made it home in just over 2 hours, which was a real treat. I now have the rest of my day to chill and to put all my crap away from the weekend.
All in all, it was a great social weekend and a great training weekend (minus the swim, that is). I ate very well, meaning that everything I ate tasted really good, even if it wasn't very healthy for me (home-made chocolate chip cookies, rice crispy squares, banana bread, Hint-o-lime Tostitos, s'mores, DQ Hot Fudge sundae). Oh well, tomorrow is Monday and I'll get my eating back on track. Friday morning's weigh-in showed the usual 170lbs, so I'm not expecting to see anything lower tomorrow morning. And if it's a gain, I enjoyed every calorie of it!
This was truly the end of my "recovery" week, so it's back to the heavy mileage again this week. I'm looking forward to it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
