One of the interesting things about change is that it is always accompanied by resistance, even if it's a positively-perceived change. The stages of resistance are different for postive change than for negatively-perceived change, but it is resistance none the less. We've all heard of variations on the "Denial-Bargaining-Anger-Depression-Acceptance" formula of grieving (which applies in cases of change), but there are different, yet equally powerful, stages for positively-perceived change (I'm sorry, I can't reference the source on this as I don't know off the top of my head):
Uninformed Optimism: "When I lose [insert appropriate number] pounds, my life will be perfect and I will be happy."
Informed Pessimism: "You want me to eat what? You want me to exercise how much? I can't do that. I'll never be able to do that. I might as well just give up now."
Hopeful Realism: "OK. I've stayed on plan with my eating. I've been to the gym [insert number here] times this week. Maybe I can actually do this!"
Informed Optimism: "Wow! I've lost [insert number here] pounds! I'm seeing results - maybe I really can do this!"
Rewarding Completion: "I'm really proud of myself for my achievement. I love my new body and my new lifestyle. Sorry, no time to talk... off for a run now."
The thing about these stages is that we don't move through them effortlessly. The length of time each of us spends in a stage is dependant on how well we deal with all the issues in that stage. The other thing is that we can often go back through the stages and repeat them over and over again.
And all of this is going under the assumption that you are peceiving the change as positive. Some of us see weight-loss as a negative change - we focus on all the things we are going to have to give up and how our life is going to be so hard and deprived and devoid of enjoyment. So although on the surface we think it's a good thing, deep down we may be feeling the resistance associated with negative change.
Put all those things together and it's no wonder we have such a tough time with weight loss and its associated lifestyle changes.
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10 Things I observed as I got thinner:
- I felt cold a lot of the time
- I actually really enjoyed exercise
- Eating crappy food made me feel crappy, not fulfilled
- I started suffering more obvious signs of PMS
- I felt exposed
- People treated me differently, and that made me angry...
- Until I figured out that it was because I had become a different person and related more openly to people
- I realized that I wasn't as short-waisted as I had thought
- I didn't mind wearing clothes that were more form-fitting
- How much I really look like my mother
So, BethK, Trish, et. al. What were your observations?
3 comments:
Awesome post! Thank you so much for outlining those stages, that really makes me stop and think about where I am and where I need/want to be.
I think, and this is just my own warped perspective (heh) that those stages don't necessarily happen in order, either... I think you can sometimes skip around and sometimes jump ahead or fall back. Or, at least, I think that happens to me!
My hub will be thrilled if I end up being always cold. Right now he's the one who is always cold, and I'm the one who is always hot. I just want my feet to shrink... my feet are bigger than his!
I've really noticed getting cold. Here in Australia, we are having an exceptional cold winter as well. I'm hoping this means I freeze my butt off literally.
Another thing I've noticed is that my alcohol tolerance has rapidly decreased. I've got to be extra careful about that one.
Great post, btw. It's the first time I've been to your site and am off to read more.
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