And... Scene!

I have a few things to report on:

Date with S:
S called me on Sunday to see if I wanted to get together that evening. He suggested a movie. We went to see Pirate Radio. The movie was good, the date fell a bit flat. After an OK first date, I just didn’t feel like we made a connection, or took our conversation to the next level. We parted with a promise to get together again, but I really don’t think that will happen. Next.

Dinner with R:
Yes, my Ex, R. We’d exchanged a few e-mail over the last couple of weeks. I mentioned that I had some DVDs of his to return. He suggested we get together and Thursday was the night that worked best for us. Things were fine, and not at all awkward. I got a little teary at the restaurant when we started to talk about why things hadn’t worked out between us. He mentioned that, in most cases, he’d always re-dated the same women a couple of times – I’m not sure if he mentioned that because he thought that he and I would try to rekindle things, but I came to realize that it’s part of his MO. The other part of that MO is being the Knight in Shining Armour who comes to the rescue of all the women in his life. Honestly, I don’t want (or need) that from him.

We continued talking on the drive home and in the car in front of my place, most of that I spent in tears. But they were not tears of sadness for him specifically. They were more tears of frustration, because having been in a relationship with him, I’m now much more clear on what I’m looking for in a partner and a relationship (some of that I did get from him, but some of it was what was missing in our relationship). I’m also afraid that I’ve now set the bar unrealistically high and that there can’t possibly be anyone out there who will fit that bill. And I’m not even talking about “picky” stuff like looks, height, occupation, income, etc. I’m talking about fundamental character traits, as well as being in synch with respect to what we want out of life and in our relationship. Big stuff.

So, on the one hand I am happy that I know exactly what I want (so that when I find it, I’ll know it’s right); but on the other hand, I fear that it’s not realistically achievable.

Group Date Event #2:
Last night I went on my second (and final) group date. This one was a bit different: three tables of men and women, with the men rotating between tables at the end of each course. That worked well (better than speed dating) because it was long enough to actually have a conversation with someone, but not so long that if you didn’t click with the people at your table, you didn’t have to spend the entire night with them.

I had an interesting conversation with a guy named B. I wasn’t attracted to him, but he was pleasant to talk to. Heck, he even managed to convince me to let him take my resting pulse rate (on my wrist) when talking about the fact that I am a runner. And that was before dinner – when I’d only met him 10 minutes earlier! Anyway, the question he asked me at dinner (based on the fact that I’d told him how I was involved in running and triathlon groups and had a fairly wide social circle from that) was, “So why are you here at this event, then?” Hmmm, that’s a good question! My answer to him was that I was hoping to branch out my social/dating circle since most of the men I knew through running/tri were either attached or just friends. But to be honest, it really made me think about what I thought I was going to get out of an event like this. It became clear that most of the other people at the event didn’t have large social circles. Some of them only go to the dinners so that they can try out new places to eat and meet people since they don’t have much of a social circle of their own. And to be quite frank, some of them (mostly the men) were socially awkward/introverted to the point where they needed the practice in how to interact with people. OK, fine. But I didn’t pay $70 per event to be someone to help someone else come out of their shell! Maybe that’s harsh, but when I’m paying for a service, I kind of expect to get something out of it.

The organizer sent an e-mail this morning asking how the event was and to provide them with my feedback. This is what I wrote:
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- Hostesses were good
- Evening/logistics flowed well
- Like that we had assigned seating to ensure alternating men/women at the table
- Location was great, food was great, service was great
- Mix of people was good

Overall, my experience was pleasant, but I doubt that I’ll attend another of your events. Although everyone I met at both events were nice, I found the men (in particular) to be a bit socially awkward/introverted and I found little in common with any of them. For the cost of the two-dinner package I bought, I didn’t see any real value as it appeared to just be a group of people thrown together, with the only commonality being in the same age range. I’ve honestly had much better connections with people I’ve met through on-line dating sites, at a considerably lower cost.
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So, that’s it for now! I have no other prospects or social events on the horizon. My trip to Vegas is in a little over a week, but that’s with a group of friends (two couples and two other guys, both of whom are married).