To be the kind of person who...

Recently I read a quote that stuck with me. It was unrelated to dating, but I could see how it might apply, given some tweaking: “Be the kind of person who takes supplements, but don’t.” For the record, that comes from Michael Pollan’s new book, Food Rules. His theory is that people who take supplements generally take better care of their health, are more mindful of the quality of what they eat, and are therefore healthier. They don’t “have” to take supplements (because they get all the nutrition they need from the variety of food they eat), but they are the type of person who would.

This linking of the original quote to its application in the dating world came about through a discussion with my cousin, J, who is artistic in nature, loves film, video, music, fashion, etc. But she says that dating people in those areas is really frustrating because jobs in those industries are so unpredictable and have brutal schedules. She once tried dating a chef she met on a catering job, but it didn’t work out because he was always working when she wasn’t. What I said to her was, “So, you want to date someone who would work in film, but doesn’t.”

Her reply: “That’s it, exactly!”

So, in the age-old question posed to me regarding what kind of guy I’m interested in, I’d have to say that he fits the following:

He’s the kind of person who could build a house, but doesn’t. He’s the kind of person who could be a Sommelier, Chef or Art Dealer, but isn’t. He could ride his bike across the country, but won’t. He could be a CEO, but isn't.

What those things have in common is that they describe some qualities I am looking for (handy around the house, appreciates food/wine/art, is physically active, smart, career-oriented), but who is just a regular guy who has a wide variety of interests, but is not consumed by the lifestyle that often accompanies those interests (especially if it’s his profession).

In a way, someone like me! Except for the house-building part. I wouldn’t want to be a chef or own a restaurant because it would take over my life, leaving little room for anything (or anyone) else. I also choose to have a career that allows me to have the work/life balance I want.