What a liberating experience!

Yesterday, about 55 other maniacs and I decided to run through downtown in our Speedos with nothing else on but a Santa Hat and our running shoes.

Now, I don't know if you know what it's like in Toronto in December, but it's a little on the chilly side. When I woke up Saturday morning it was -6C (21F) with a wind chill of -15C (5F). Brrrrr! Thankfully, it warmed up to around the freezing mark by the time the run started at 1:30PM.

To be honest, the temperature was not the thing I was most worried about. I was more concerned with being exposed in a bathing suit in front of friends and total strangers. I mean, honestly, most people don't even like wearing bathing suits to swim where they'll be covered by water, let alone run around in one in public! So, I'm no different than anyone else when I say that I've never felt comfortable wearing a bathing suit in public.

I was a little nervous taking off my clothes in public and standing there with all my flaws for people to see. But I did take comfort in the fact that everyone else's flaws were also on display - strength in numbers, so to speak. Once the run started and the throng (no, not "thong"!) of Speedo-clad runners started to make its way through the downtown streets, all thoughts of "How do I look?" went out of my head. Most of the people out Christmas shopping clapped and smiled in approval. They even moved aside to let us pass (some even took photos on their camera phones) and cars honked in support of our efforts.

But I guess the most enlightening (and liberating) thing of all was how I was probably less self-conscious of how I looked running around in my bathing suit than my 30-year-old, size-8 running partner who could not stop freaking out about how horrible she looked in a bathing suit. And I guess the reason why I got so pissed at her whining is because I know that by judging herself so harshly meant that she was likely judging everyone else there (including me), too.

I wanted to say to her, "Lookit... you have nothing to be embarassed about. You have a great body - heck, a body that any woman would be happy to have. Nobody is judging you other than yourself. Nobody is probably looking at you at all! So shut the fuck up and run!"

And then I realized that I could have very likely said those same words to myself.

So, for that reason, I feel liberated. I slayed a huge dragon yesterday and feel like I have turned the corner in improving my body image. I mean, if I can don a bathing suit and run semi-naked through the streets of THE ritziest shopping district in Toronto on THE busiest shopping day of the year, then clearly I have nothing left to be embarrassed about.

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Friday's dinner and party afterwards was outstanding. I haven't danced that much in YEARS! I almost feel like with each passing birthday I become more and more what I am meant to be and come into myself all that much more. Although lubricated with some lovely Pinot Noir at dinner and some beer at the party afterwards, I just let my hair down and danced like nobody was watching.

I also had two more lovely surpises this weekend: Friday's Birthday Weigh-in was 167.2 and Saturday's was 167.0! Woo!! Forgot to weigh in this morning, but I will tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath to still be in the 167s, though.