Good, but...

OK, I know I owe you all a date report from Saturday. Here it is:

M picked me up at 6PM. He called me at 6PM sharp to say he was downstairs. I went down, gave him a hug, he took my skates and I got into the car (he closed the door for me).

As we were driving, he said, “I checked the web site for skating and there is a DJ playing after 8PM so I thought we’d go to dinner first, then skating.” Oh, OK. I thought we’d do it the other way around, but no big deal. The drive down was fine, we had to wait about half an hour for a table, but we just sat and talked. He told me about how his kids never see their mum as she moved out west and has little contact with them.

Dinner was good. Conversation was good. After dinner, we got our skates from the car and walked down to the skating rink. It was PACKED with people. It was tough to really skate because it was so crowded. But we managed OK. I don’t know how long we skated in total. We took one break because my back was sore. Then I said that I was pretty much done (I’m sore in about a million places from all the workouts I’ve done in the last week). We put on our boots and then walked back to the car. We had a nice chat and he told me more about how his wife left (2 years ago) and how he lost his house as a result. He didn’t sound bitter (actually, now that I think about it, he didn’t really show any emotion at all).

The drive home was fine. He asked me questions about my life and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. As we got close to my place, he asked if I wanted to go for coffee. I said that I was starting to fade and that I’d prefer to just go home. When he dropped me off, I gave him a hug and kiss on the cheek.

Yesterday, I sent him a text to say thank you. I got THREE text messages in reply, one of which said, “Next time how about making dinner?” He seems so intent on getting together to make dinner (I’m guessing at my place, since he and his kids live with his mum). I didn’t reply to that message. Then, later that night I get the following text:

“Before I head to bed. Gotta be up with the birds tomorrow morning.
Just wanted to say "you are truely an amazing woman. "

Oy.

This morning, I replied “Thanks. That’s very nice of you to say. TTYL.”

So, I am definitely NOT feeling the same way he seems to be feeling. I knew last night that I didn't feel anything for him because all I kept thinking as we were skating was, "I hope he doesn't try to hold my hand." That's not a good sign.

I don’t want to over-analyze things, and all I can do is be true to how I am feeling – about him, about myself, about how I want to feel – and right now I am not feeling it with him. He’s nice. There’s nothing “wrong” with him. I’m just not attracted to him.

My conundrum is how to tell him that. I can’t do that via e-mail or text – that’s just rude. Perhaps we could talk on the phone. My hesitation in telling him in person is the fact that he wants to get together to cook at my place, and I’d rather just meet for coffee and tell him in some neutral place. I’ve had this conversation before (with A several months ago), though that one was a bit different because I positioned it as not being ready to move forward after my last relationship. This time, it’s not about the fact that I’m not ready to move forward; he’s just not the guy I want to move forward with! And I can pretty much be sure that spending more time with him isn’t going to change that. I don’t want to string him along or get his hopes up. Or get tied up in a way that would prevent either of us from meeting the person we are meant to be with.

Sigh. I think a phone call is in order.