The Talk

Well, it took me almost an hour of chit-chat with him on the phone before I got the courage up to give him the "just friends" talk, but I did it. It went fine.

My objective going in was to simply tell him how I was feeling, without projecting anything on him, and also allowing him to save face if he is in fact interested in more that just a friendship with me.

I started off by saying that I was very touched by the message he sent me the other night saying that he thought I was a truly amazing woman. I told him that I thought he was pretty amazing himself, stepping up and taking on his kids full time when their mother left. I wanted him to know that I respected him for that. He really is a quality guy.

Then I told him that I had learned a lot from my last relationship, one thing being that it's always best to put your cards on the table with the other person as early as possible so that neither one is wondering how the other one is feeling. So I said that what I was feeling right now was more of a friendship than anything else. I said that I didn't see it developing into anything more at this point and that I wanted him to know that so that he could decide how he wanted to proceed.

Actually, I think I might have said, "Maybe I will, maybe I won't" which in retrospect I wish I hadn't said because that might give him a little glimmer of hope that if he's persistent that he can win me over. That's the only thing I regret about the conversation.

He said he was fine with that, that he's always looking to make more friends and broaden his social circle, so I think he got it.

Oh, he also told me that he Googled me and found the article that was written about me a few years ago about my weight-loss journey. That bugged me just a little bit, but I know that we're in the information age, so it's to be expected. I could never Google him because he has a very common name (his last name being probably the MOST common Chinese name) and shares it with a provincial MPP and cabinet minister.

Well, that's it for now. I was excited to see that I got a message from J, another guy I'd been communicating with. It was a bit of a let-down because it was just a one-line reply to a question I asked him, nothing more. I also got a message from a guy named D, but he has a few strikes against him: 49, 5'7" and lives in Newmarket.