Part Two

OK, so I bit the bullet and finally agreed to meet a guy for coffee whom I'd met on eHarmony.

When he called me Monday to confirm the date, I could tell by the sound of his voice (i.e., the way he spoke) that I probably wasn't going to have a connection with this guy. Now, now, La... don't be so hasty and quick to judge!

Right. OK. Met him for coffee at 5PM. He was already there, which was good because I hate wating for people so score one for him. However, he does lose points for being on the phone when I arrived as well as answering a call while we were talking (more on that later).

He actually looked a lot better in person than I expected him to look based on his photo. That said, he also looked older than I expected. Pet Peeve #1: people who post photos on-line that are five years old or more. He's 47, which kind of freaks me out, to be honest. I mean, even though I'm 42 I feel more like 32 and have a hard time getting my head around dating someone so, um, OLD!

He was painfully shy and it was like pulling teeth trying to get him to engage in conversation. Basically, he just answered all the questions I had for him. He never asked me anything about myself. Pet Peeve #2: Guys who don't take an interest in me and what I'm doing. To me, this is Sign #1 that they "just aren't that into me". But La, maybe he was just shy. Yeah, yeah, but if he had been into me, he would have at least made an effort.

Pet Peeve #3: Wimpy handshakes. Ugh! To me, the quality of the handshake shows confidence and backbone.

After about 25 minutes (and 1/3 of my Venti Passion Tea), I told him I had to go and got ready to go. As we stood on the street corner I said it was nice to meet him and have a safe flight (he was off to NYC on business, which is what the other phonecall was about - he's a pilot), I wasn't even tempted to say, "Let's get together again", or, "I'll call you." What's the point of saying something like that when I know I have no intention of following up.

Oh well, no harm, no foul. However lame, it was one more date than I had last year. He really wasn't my type, we had very little in common, he was much to quiet for my taste and I really wasn't at all interested in getting to know him better.

Then today, I get an e-mail from him:

I enjoyed meeting you. I find you to be a very intelligent person who has a direction in life that I find admirable. I know we are both very busy types but I think this is a good thing and I don't think either of us would have it any other way. I found myself feeling somewhat awkward at first but after meeting you, I felt a lot more comfortable given your honest, straight forward nature. So I am interested in your thoughts and I look forward to hearing from you.

Argh. How to let him down easy...

So, score one for me on the confidence front, but I have to say that it's easy for me to be confident the first couple of meetings. It's after that (when I start to develop feelings) that my confidence goes down the drain.