16 Pounds

I stepped on the scales last night. I normally don’t weigh myself at night because I know that I am always heavier at night than I am when I get up in the morning (sometimes 2-3 pounds). Must be all the food/water from the day in my system. Anyway, I did get on the scales, but not really to weigh myself but to weigh my backpack. Let me explain:

Today is a triple workout day: I rode to work (7K each way), did weights and ran 3+ miles on the treadmill (actually didn’t mind it today). After work, I rode to the pool and swam for 25 minutes and then rode home. That’s a lot of exercise; but more than that, it’s a lot of clothes! My backpack is filled with all the crap I needed for two workouts (run/swim) plus my cycling gear. I could barely get the stupid thing closed last night. And I even took out everything that was unnecessary.

So, I stepped on the scales in just my regular clothes (174), stepped off, picked up my backpack and stepped back on: 190 pounds! OK, first, I hated seeing that number on the scales again. I have not been 190 pounds for quite a while (in January of 2003 I got back up to 188, I think). So then I did the math in my head and realized that the backpack I was carrying weighed 16 pounds!

Carrying excess weight makes exercise more difficult. On the plus side, it also means you burn more calories for the same amount of effort. Cyclists spend LOTS of money trying to shave ounces off the weight of their bikes in an effort to save some time. And here I am with a freakin’ 16-pound knapsack on my back while I ride! That’s certainly going to slow me down some. But it’s also a great workout. [The other thing that impacts your performance on the bike, I’ve recently discovered, is your tire pressure. Mine were severely under-inflated (60psi as opposed to 95psi), so I took the time to pump them up before I left this morning. What a difference the tires made! I was flying!]

Anyway, the other thing I started thinking about is that it really wasn’t so long ago that I weighed 16 pounds more than I do now. And that got me to thinking about all the stuff I did when I was heavier than I am now. At this point, I couldn’t imagine doing all the activity I do with a 50-pound weight strapped on my back. At the end of each day, I have to carry that 16-pound backpack along with my 30-pound bike up two flights of stairs to my apartment. I’m struggling and wheezing by the time I get to the top. How did I ever do what I did back then, weighing 60+ pounds more than I do now??

I remember the first time I ever ran on the treadmill. I probably weighed about 228 pounds at the time. I was walking on the treadmill at the gym as I had been for the previous two months and somehow I got this stupid idea in my head to actually try running. I think I lasted all of four or five minutes before I had to stop. But I didn’t stop there; just like old Forrest Gump, I kept on running, day after day. Next thing I knew I was entered in a 5K race. I “trained” for that race for about 18 months – the first 15 months on the treadmill and in the last three I started running outside (please don't look at me, please don't look at me). But I had only lost about 20 pounds in total by that point. I ran my first 5K weighing about 210-215, I think. Same goes for my first half-marathon and my first triathlon: I was well over 200 for both of those.

So here I am now [just having eaten two cookies at a co-worker’s going away party, btw]. I am still almost 25 pounds from my goal weight, but I’m OK with where I am for now. There will be plenty of time for weight loss in the fall. This summer, I just want to have fun and train and race and be active and party with my friends and travel and cheer people on in races (and hopefully not GAIN any weight – so I’m still watching out for that).

So, to anyone out there who thinks that they are too heavy to do something like that, I’m telling you that it’s entirely possible – as long as you want it badly enough and are willing to do the work to achieve it. The only place that your excess weight holds you back is in your own mind.

Now, my own personal challenge is to question all the things I have been avoiding/neglecting because of my own perceptions about my weight and my body. Clearly, I am not afraid to put myself on the line in an athletic way, but it does (or rather, I do) still hold me back in other ways. Go away, bad voices in my head! Away! Aaargh. I’ll silence them eventually…