"Death" of a Salesman

Since Holly asked...

The date with K last Friday night was fine. We spent most of the evening "talking about the weather" so I didn't really get much info out of him. He was nice enough, attractive enough, but I don't think he's really my type.

He's what I call a "salesman." Whether or not he actually works in sales is irrelevant. I define the "salesman" as follows: someone who will do/say whatever it takes to a) get what he wants, b) make you agree with him, c) get/take something from you, d) put a positive/appealing spin on something negative (usually to justify something or sell something), etc. I don't trust them; I always feel like I am being manipulated by them. I feel like they aren't telling me the truth; they are telling me what they think I want to hear (so that I will give them what they want).

And dating a "salesman" is the worst, because the thing they are trying to sell you is themselves! And they have this way of talking about themselves without actually giving up anything of value. They rarely ask you questions (I had to volunteer most information about myself, which I'm usually quite forthcoming with anyway).

So, we ended the date with a hug and a nice to meet you and a let's get together again. But I have yet to hear from him, so whatever. L said to me that K was probably waiting for me to contact him. I said that I wasn't feeling particularly motivated to contact him because I didn't really care if I saw him again.

I am back at square one with no prospects on the horizon. Though to be honest I haven't been on-line in a while, so I really shouldn't complain.

Oh, I've had messages from a few guys, but none of them were interesting to me. One guy who was really into cooking and wine (and seemed to have a lot of contempt for people who go to the gym) sent me a message proposing that we get together to cook. I politely replied that I prefer to be the cook and not share my kitchen space with anyone (I get along best with people who like to eat and clean). I suggested that we were likely too much alike (with respect to cooking) to be compatible. He replied, "Oh, that's a new one: we're too compatible so therefore we shouldn't meet." Um, no, that's not what I said (and e-mailed him back to tell him that). But being another "salesman" he had to reply why he thought my logic was wrong and why he was right.

Yeah, I just deleted that message.

Here's a piece of advice for on-line dating: If you e-mail a guy to tell him that you're not interested, resist the temptation to reply to him if he writes back trying to convince you otherwise.