Well, I caved and called R on Tuesday morning. I'm not sure what possessed me to do that, but it was something I felt I needed to do. I called him at 7:30AM. It rang three times and went to voice mail. I can't even remember what I said in my message other than, "I'm not really sure why I'm calling you."
He called me back within about 10 minutes. We talked about nothing to start, but then we talked about other things, too. I asked him if he was free this week to get together. He suggested Thursday; I said that worked for me.
The rest of Tuesday, Wednesday and most of today (Thursday) I had been contemplating what I wanted to get out of this meeting/talk. I decided that my main goal was to take my heart back (so that I could ultimately give it to someone else). But I wasn't really sure how I was going to do that. I still have so many unanswered questions where he is concerned - questions that I feel only he can answer. My main one being, How did we go from talking about dreams and houses and families, to not talking at all within the span of a couple of weeks?
Anyway, around 1PM today I sent him an e-mail to see if he was still available to get together tonight. As of a few minutes ago (9:15PM) I hadn't heard from him so I poured myself another glass of wine. I decided to check my work e-mail. He replied to my note at 6:15PM saying that he was still on the boat and would call me later. Um, yeah, OK.
This is exactly what he did in the week leading up to our breakup; I tried to make plans with him and he'd get "busy" doing something else, leaving me hanging. So. Not. Cool. What kind of person behaves that way?? To me, that behaviour says, You are not important to me. And to top it all off, (in the past) he's tried to make it look/sound like I am the one being unreasonable where this is concerned, trying to pin him down to a timetable over which he has no control.
Anyway, I haven't decided what I am going to do/say if/when he actually calls me. I reeeeeeally want to be able to move on, regardless of whether we ever get a chance to talk. I'm just not sure how I am going to do that.
ETA: He called me at 10. Some whole excuse about a problem with his boat, blah-blah-blah. Anyway, the latest status is that he is going to call me on Sunday (since we're both busy between now and then). I'm not holding my breath.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Time will give you the closure you need. I'm not sure he'll give you the answers you need/want.
Yeah, I know. I'm prepared for that. My head wants to move on, but I'm having a hard time convincing my heart to do the same.
I was waiting to find out what happened with this, so came here to read it. It's true... time will give you the closure you need. At this point, you have done all you can. If he didn't make you a priority while you were together, he's even less likely to do so when you're not. He won't change that behaviour now (and I know you know that).
Your italicized question is one we all wonder. And sadly, sometimes the only answer is that in his mind, it was done and he had nothing more to say. I fully understand the need to talk to him and ask the questions but now's the time to focus on this behaviour and why he wasn't a match for you.
Be strong. You are.
Post a Comment